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symph0natic
Reviews
Blankman (1994)
OMG, this movie sucked so badly!!!
My brother wanted to see this, mistakenly thinking this would be a good movie. Let's just say that it is not. We actually wasted 7 bucks each to see this in the theater during its two-week run! Ouuuch! Yeah, it's kind of embarrassing, but I had to admit it. I didn't even realize that this was Greg Kinnear's (rather inauspicious) film debut. I'm sure he'd like this one deleted off his resume! As well as Jon Polito, playing yet another version of his stereotypical mobster character that he first portrayed so well in MILLER'S CROSSING (1988). I already know from an interview he did on NPR that Damon Wayans would like to have this one back. He said it began with the "Handyman" character he did on the show "In Living Color" and somehow got metamorphosed into...this.
Let me make this clear: I did not laugh once during this entire 79-minute piece of crap. Even the movie's short length was not enough to save it. Or watch it. I guess the only good thing about this movie is that it put the final nail in the coffin of Robin Givens' film career. I have nothing against her, and God knows she suffered being married to Mike Tyson, but a film actress she is not. Sorry! Speaking of which, if you actually watch this movie, you will be sorry for having wasted 79 minutes of your life cringing at the embarrassing gyrations of the nerdy character played by Damon Wayans.
Crash (1996)
One of the very worst movies I have ever seen.
I just saw this utter piece of crap on HBO. Yes, it was the fully uncensored NC-17 version. My partner had recorded it for me just to show me how bad it was. He was correct.
While my feelings about it are not quite as strong as his (he says that everyone associated with it should have been shot), I came on here hoping to find an average rating of no higher than 4.0. I cannot believe that it has gotten an average rating of 5.9! The fact that more than ten percent rated it a 10, and another ten percent or so rated it a 9, shows that there are some really sick and disturbed people in the IMDb community. Much worse than that, though, that means that there are this many people out here that obviously have no discriminating taste in films.
Being gay and a proud liberal Democrat, I consider myself to be very open-minded, especially when it comes to art, literature and film, but the fact is that this movie is crap. It is well-made in some scenes; however, that means that it is just fairly well-made crap! I know, David Cronenberg really made a film about sexual obsession in general, using sex and something completely unrelated to do so, yadda yadda yadda. Other than that, IMDb Community, what the *beep* was the point of making this? My well-considered answer: there was none.
For one thing, all of the main characters are sick, uninteresting people. They get off on being involved in car crashes. In fact, this entire film is like a car crash: you watch it for morbid curiosity's sake, but you eventually want to turn away. I didn't turn away; no, I made sure that I watched it through to the end. But I kept wanting to turn away from about the 40-minute point. I know that Rosanna Arquette pretty much had no career at this point and needed whatever paltry salary she got for doing it. But what the hell was Holly Hunter thinking??? She had just won the Best Actress Oscar for The Piano just three years earlier! Just like my partner, I would not dissuade anyone who REALLY wanted to see Crash (1996). However, be forewarned. And....PLEASE do NOT let the ridiculously high ratings for it on IMDb fool you!
I Married Dora (1987)
I LOVED "I Married Dora!"
I saw every single one of the 13 episodes when they originally aired back in the Fall of 1987, and loved most of them--especially the first & the final episodes! I recognized Juliette Lewis as a major star in the making back then, and thusly was so pleasantly surprised when she was cast in Cape Fear (1991) and eventually earned a well-deserved Oscar Nomination for Best Supporting Actress!
Here's one bit of irony that I remember from the pilot episode (and am surprised that no one else has commented on): When it looks as if the U.S. Government will deport Dora, Peter at first engages in a series of interviews with potential housekeepers, all of them hilariously unfit in one way or another. (Including a weird Indian woman who thought she was answering an ad for a "Horsekeeper", lol!)
Afterwards, he asks his kids, Kate & Will, who they liked. They both immediately respond, "Dora." Peter then remarks that one of the interviewees "seemed okay," to which Kate responds with something like (not an exact quote), "Yeah, if you don't worry too much about her going off on some kind of killing spree." I remembered this line years later when I saw Kate (Juliette Lewis) in the incredibly great & incredibly disturbing NATURAL BORN KILLERS (1994) in which she plays a character who, with Woody Harrelson, goes off on a killing spree!! :-)
Anyway, LOVED THIS SHOW! Admittedly, it probably didn't have a lot more great episodes in it at the time it was canceled; however, most of the episodes that were made were great! And it brought us the always interesting, unique, talented and wonderful Juliette Lewis!!!