Change Your Image
seanferguson13
Reviews
Fool Me Once (2024)
Hollyoaks with Guns
This is slick but badly written dialogue with even worse acting - bar the excellent Adeel Akhtar who elevates everything he's in. It's saved from 0 points by Akhtar and a semi-intruiging plot line. They didn't even bother explain the bizarre and distrubing behaviour of Shane Tessier. The lead character was unwatchable at times as she marched and shouted and pointed her way through proceedings. Unfortunately Michelle Keegan is no great actress and has learned some poor habits from soaps that she seems unable to shake. The final few scenes "in the future" just made it look weak - and again they seemed to forget Emmett J Scanlon was in the room as the character of Shane Tessier hadn't aged in 20 years.
Frasier (2023)
All Goof No Wit
In Nick Lyndhurst and Kelsey Grammar they have two of the greatest TV comedy actors in decades. The supporting cast seem very capable too. They have all of my 4 stars. But the writing?!? It's nothing short than abysmal. Cheers was a great ensemble, Frasier 1 was that plus (mostly) incredibly clever and witty writing. Frasier 2 so far has one iconic character, two iconic actors and... that's it. They've made the mistake in thinking the character's mere presence on the screen can carry any old dross. It can't. It feels like we're an episode away from Frasier standing on a rake and getting a 15 minute whoop and cheer from the audience.
The show has promise because of the acting talent - and undoubtedly it will be renewed - but they absolutely must spend time getting the writing in the top top TOP condition it needs to be to match the acting. If that means they take three years to sort a Season 2 then they have no choice but to do it. Otherwise it'll end like "Joey" and it will be an embarrassment all round and a tragic end to a great sitcom.
Dinosaur (2023)
Stephen mate...?
WTAF? Kept my eldest up to watch it and within 5 minutes thought it was a weird comedy pastiche. Even my daughter said she could draw more convincing fireworks. The facts were rubbish, the interaction looked like it was from the 1970s and the CGI looked like it was a GCSE technology project.
Mr Stephen Fry - you're a national treasure Sir - this kind of s**t is utterly beneath you. Your name comes with a premium that Channel 5 clearly wanted to cash in on but nothing can paper over the meteorite sized cracks in this mess. It's the kind of cheap rubbish you'd expect from Channel 5 back in 1997.
Black Mass (2015)
Something was missing....
I can't argue with the fact that Black Mass achieved commercial success. It also managed to transform you into the time and place of the setting and wrap you around the prevailing mood. It was good direction in my opinion. The director achieved what he could achieve with the tools he had.
My criticism comes in two broad veins: (1) casting/appearance and (2) script.
Jonny Depp is an excellent actor but the prosthetics used on his face made him look like Jonny Depp but not like Jonny Depp at the same time. And I couldn't help but get distracted by it perpetually. Those blue contact lenses were the worst offender. I was waiting for the point where this piercing "blueness" was weaved into the story and the character of Whitey somehow - and whilst subtly this was achieved - it wasn't enough to take away from the distraction. In addition why on earth was Benedict Cumberbatch in this film? He looked woefully out of place. He didn't look like his family in anyway and his role appeared to be to just remind everyone Whitey had a brother who was a politician. Alternatively it was just a name to add to the credits and posters. An unknown would have been perfect for this. The "pulling power" of stars like Cumberbatch has its place in cinema (rightly or wrongly) but this was a film about Whitey and the focus should have been on his story. These two issues served to stir you back into reality every now and again and the story (which I'll come to) lost its grasp on you.
The story. I mean it is what it is right? Whitey was a gangster, loved by most of his community, made a pact with the FBI, fell out of favour with the FBI, went on the run, got caught. There's not much variation to work with; but the film was crying out for a big scene or a middle or an end. There were none. In fact I was so surprised that the end of the film arrived that I double checked that people were leaving. It was almost as if production went sh*t - lets end here. There was nothing about his life on the run; nothing about the fates of the major characters (other than the text on screen); the film demanded that. We got no "fall from grace" and hardship. Instead we got high life, trouble with the law, the end.
That said, Jonny Depp's performance (prosthetics aside) was fantastic though I wouldn't rank this alongside The Departed, Goodfellas, Godfather etc...
Eternal Law (2012)
Possibly the worst thing ever created, and not just on TV
As a lawyer, I tried to tell myself it was the oversimplified clichéd plots that are repeatedly stuffed into the "excitement box" of a courtroom until they are misshapen. Endlessly showing good versus evil in a system where sadly black and white rarely exist and there are a billion shades of gray. Couple this with the incorrect procedures and law. But no that wasn't it.
Was it my atheism? Did I object to the winged angels flying down and doing battle with terribly frightful evil on a weekly basis as a further reinforcement of outdated and unscientific beliefs among young audiences? No, it wasn't that either.
The setting then? Bland, mechanical story lines? Truly awful acting? (To be fair there are some good performances). No.
What got me, was that someone was trying to sell this to audiences as entertainment. A prime time slot no less. I would still have grimaced if it was the first attempt at a foray into programme creation by a Year 11 media student.
This programme is as bad as it gets. I may even go as far as to say it represents the final nail in the cultural and creative decline of our society.
It's sad that a TV show can make a 26 year old think this way, but it did. I may throw my TV away now.