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1/10
Hmm...
9 August 2004
Okay, first of all, I missed like the first 15 minutes of the movie, so I missed credits and stuff. SO when I finally got to it, I was like "Who the hell is this dude?". I found out it was Flex like hours after watching the movie.

Flex didn't look like Michael Jackson. Not one bit. He couldn't dance like him, or move like him, the only thing he almost had was the voice. People commented on Elizabeth Taylor, but I can't really comment on that because I don't know much about her.

The whole movie was like just plain wack. The dialogue sucked. The cinematography-if it can be called that-sucked. The soundtrack sucked. The acting sucked. Yes even Flex...I'm so upset about it though. I didn't want it to suck. I'm so sad that Flex got told he can get away with it. But the whole thing looked like dress-up. You know? It's like, nobody looked like they were supposed to except for Joseph Jackson.

The concert sequences just sucked. I'm sorry, but Flex just can't dance like Michael. I mean, like what the hell was VH1 thinking? The makeup didn't even match like the time of whatever Michael was going through. For example, in the movie he was still dark when Neverland got raided the first time around. In real life, MJ was white as hell. There was some sort of stupid delay in his skin discoloring.

The movie wasn't boring, well for me it wasn't. It wasn't really anything. I was just so upset about everything that was wrong with it. I wanted to see how it turned out and if Flex could redeem himself. He didn't, really. The only part I found like a bit interesting was the whole Lisa Marie thing. When they fell in love. That was nice. But I had to turn my face away when they kissed. Heh. And only two parts made me collapse with laughter. The first time was when they cut from Michael with short hair, you know the Thriller era, to Michael with long flowing hair from the Dangerous era AND HE WAS STILL BLACK! That was funny. The second time I laughed was when they showed all of the posters and memorabilia of Michael but they had Flex's face instead! It was so funny.

Overall, this movie was cheap trash. It was simply two hours of dress-up and could have been so much better. But no, VH1 is cheap. Watch if you want. But this movie is not funny, considering the ridiculousness of it. I came out of it feeling angry. And when I found out it was Flex, I just started to feel so bad. So...watch if you want.
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Longshot (2001)
1/10
A masterpiece...heh
6 July 2004
Okay...this movie was so great at being just terribly ghastly...dreadful..in the words of Simon Cowell. Oh my God, I don't even know where to begin!

First of all, I watched this movie because my pal told me that she got it for the cameos, which included people like O-Town, Britney Spears, and NSYNC, which we're fans of. I enjoyed O-Town at the beginning of the movie. I was a fan of Making The Band and I was hooked on it. So it was cool to see O-Town in that setting. It was just like watching Making The Band...almost, except they were acting..or attempting to act. It was great when you think of the rest of the movie.

The rest of the cameos...Britney Spears plays a flight attendant. Wow...I guess that was practice for her "Toxic" video..Bah..She plays a flight attendant, has like two lines...Heh..not very memorable, but she looked cute. That was the sane, beautiful Britney we fell in love with...Anyway, then there's the *NSYNC guys...First came Lance with Brit on the plane. It was crap. He had a stupid little one liner with an *NSYNC pun..It was wack. Then came Justin, who was quite funny. He's a funny dude. Then there was JC and Joey.They cracked me up. They had some cool chemistry. And then came Chris which was okay...

There were so many boy groups I'd never heard of. Okay, I heard of them but I couldn't tell who was who. They all looked alike. The one that killed me was the Rock. He wasn't advertised on the little DVD cover. I was soo surprised when he popped out as a "mugger" and got beat up by that stupid kid.

Why am I wasting my time on this review? The acting sucked. The soundtrack was wack. There is a cheap little part when one of the 'leads' serenades his chick friend. OH HELL NO. Why, oh, why? I mean it was so terrible and painfully corny. I had to fast forward. It wasn't even funny, it was embarrassing. Ugh.

The thing that made me sad was that Paul Sorvino was in it! I loved him in GoodFellas...I even loved him in See Spot Run. But LONGSHOT? Crapshot. It was just so sad that he let himself be bought into being in this movie.

Lou Pearlman is such a disgusting sleazeball. He was present too many times. He's also not a genius. Sure he put together the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC. But he can not put together a good movie. This movie totally lacks heart. It's all a ploy to get poplovers to buy this monkey crap. It lacks heart, actual acting talent, a gripping plot, good dialogue..Ugh. It was a complete waste of my life. It felt like it went on forever. No one should see this movie. NO ONE! It's too awful. I don't recommend it, not even for laughs because it is not funny, with the exception of Justin, JC, and Joey...maybe even the Rock..This movie would suck with or without the cameos...THE CHEETAH GIRLS was probably more enjoyable than this crap.
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5/10
Better than I expected it to be...
2 June 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Warning: May contain spoilers...and I'm not a good review writer..

"The Day After Tomorrow" is the type of movie that you can only enjoy to the fullest at the movie theater. The big screen, the sound effects, the surrounding darkness, it all enhances the feel of the movie. Makes the movie better or worse. In my case, it made it so much better. I was sitting in one of the worst seats you can imagine, but I enjoyed this film. I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did. (Maybe my wack seat made the movie so great? I was ALL the way in the front and a bit to the right.)

Here's the deal: Some guy (Dennis Quaid) 'predicts' that in about 40 or so years, effects of global warming will make the world's climate go nuts. What happens? His prediction comes true, like the next day. So then, it's a matter of survival for the people in the movie, like his son (Jake Gyllenhaal)and friends who are in New York city.. Yeah, the plot's a bit on the clichéd and ridiculous side, but the way it's carried out...I can't even describe it. It was pure excitement. And for some reason left me paranoid when I left the theater and it was drizzling a bit outside.

For real, yo, the effects were CRAZY! It was so mind-blowing...I'm not even sure what's considered a spoiler...but, just in case, don't read this if you want to be surprised...

The friggin wolf-chase! This was so good! It was like a highlight for me, just because it was so weird! It was funny but weird. The SPECIAL EFFECTS! Los Angeles being terrorized by a tornado was totally amazing to watch. So many aspects of this movie were so genius. Like the unexpected typical romance stuff. I wasn't expecting such corniness. But with Jake Gyllenhaal in it, I should have known...But it wasn't even major corniness. There were a lot of funny scenes in this movie. Just go watch this movie. You'll be entertained, I promise you.
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