Southland Tales is an ensemble piece set in the futuristic landscape of Los Angeles on July 4, 2008, as it stands on the brink of social, economic and environmental disaster. Boxer Santaros... See full summary »
Sarah Michelle Gellar,
Seann William Scott
Jack Taylor is a Beverly Hills gigolo who is blackmailed by a corrupt and powerful businessman, Laszlo Pryce. He is forced to seduce a wealthy widow in NYC to obtain insider information so his blackmailer can profit. Jack desperately tries to prevent harm coming to his little brother Alex, but unexpectedly falls for the woman he is forced to betray. Now, he must choose. Written by
Flight Engineer on plane:
Captain, were are in the middle of a lightening storm. We lost all communication with air traffic controls. I dont know what the problem is..everything is out of sync!
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Okay...this movie was so great at being just terribly ghastly...dreadful..in the words of Simon Cowell. Oh my God, I don't even know where to begin!
First of all, I watched this movie because my pal told me that she got it for the cameos, which included people like O-Town, Britney Spears, and NSYNC, which we're fans of. I enjoyed O-Town at the beginning of the movie. I was a fan of Making The Band and I was hooked on it. So it was cool to see O-Town in that setting. It was just like watching Making The Band...almost, except they were acting..or attempting to act. It was great when you think of the rest of the movie.
The rest of the cameos...Britney Spears plays a flight attendant. Wow...I guess that was practice for her "Toxic" video..Bah..She plays a flight attendant, has like two lines...Heh..not very memorable, but she looked cute. That was the sane, beautiful Britney we fell in love with...Anyway, then there's the *NSYNC guys...First came Lance with Brit on the plane. It was crap. He had a stupid little one liner with an *NSYNC pun..It was wack. Then came Justin, who was quite funny. He's a funny dude. Then there was JC and Joey.They cracked me up. They had some cool chemistry. And then came Chris which was okay...
There were so many boy groups I'd never heard of. Okay, I heard of them but I couldn't tell who was who. They all looked alike. The one that killed me was the Rock. He wasn't advertised on the little DVD cover. I was soo surprised when he popped out as a "mugger" and got beat up by that stupid kid.
Why am I wasting my time on this review? The acting sucked. The soundtrack was wack. There is a cheap little part when one of the 'leads' serenades his chick friend. OH HELL NO. Why, oh, why? I mean it was so terrible and painfully corny. I had to fast forward. It wasn't even funny, it was embarrassing. Ugh.
The thing that made me sad was that Paul Sorvino was in it! I loved him in GoodFellas...I even loved him in See Spot Run. But LONGSHOT? Crapshot. It was just so sad that he let himself be bought into being in this movie.
Lou Pearlman is such a disgusting sleazeball. He was present too many times. He's also not a genius. Sure he put together the Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC. But he can not put together a good movie. This movie totally lacks heart. It's all a ploy to get poplovers to buy this monkey crap. It lacks heart, actual acting talent, a gripping plot, good dialogue..Ugh. It was a complete waste of my life. It felt like it went on forever. No one should see this movie. NO ONE! It's too awful. I don't recommend it, not even for laughs because it is not funny, with the exception of Justin, JC, and Joey...maybe even the Rock..This movie would suck with or without the cameos...THE CHEETAH GIRLS was probably more enjoyable than this crap.
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