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Gaff82
Reviews
Batman: Dark Tomorrow (2003)
Crap Game
Let me sum this game up in two levels.
There is one level where the object is to go to Commissioner Gordon's office, and to do this, you must skulk along the edge of the building to reach the bottom. I didn't know this as I played the level, though, as there were no instructions. I must have fallen to my dead a good fifty times before realizing what I had to do to get out, and another thirty to actually get to the office.
Another equally frustrating level is a where you must pilot a hang-glider to a ledge a virtual mile away. The physics are so real, that if you so much as brush against a canyon wall, you will fall to your death. Also, if the wind is bad, you will fall to your death. If you try to pilot it, you will fall to your death. If you DO NOT pilot it, you will fall to your death. If you attempt to win, you WILL FALL TO YOUR #@&$%^$#^*$#%*^ DEATH!!!!!!!!!! I cannot even guess how many times I played this level before miraculously getting to the other side.
That is pretty much the whole trend of this game. And it's not even attractive enough to waste the time playing. In fact, what are you reading this for? Don't even think about buying this damn game! Trust me!
Batman & Robin (1997)
Pure Garbage
"Clooney did good as both Bruce and Batman?" "I'd rank this as #2 of the 4?" "if you're a Batman fan, you'll find a lot to like?" Uh, no, sorry, that's just bulls**t on a stick! Clooney was not a good Batman, he was a good George Clooney in a bat-suit, there's a difference! This movie has been called a retread of "Forever," but it's not even that! It's a retread of the Adam West Batman, injected with so much color and CGI, your eyes will bleed, and not in a good way either! And as for that "if you're a fan" comment, just what kind of people did you think started the "'I hate this movie' bandwagon," huh?! BATMAN FANS, STUPID!!! B&R was the furthest thing from the spirit of the Batman as any sane human being could ever imagine! The neon lights on the car, the bat-credit cards, the nipples on the suit, Arnold's corny cold lines, Robin's whiny attitude, clueless Silverstone, retarded Bane, and can someone explain to me why Freeze would keep a hooker around? He's got his wife in a tube waiting for some cure, she's the whole reason he's doing all this stuff, and he's got a hooker around not doing anything for him? Nearly everything about this movie is crap, and a giant insult to the legend of Batman. Yes, the subplot with Alfred's illness was reasonably okay, but it's not enough to redeem an entire movie. All three of the first ones were better than this, even Returns! Schumacher didn't know Batman, and apparently, neither do you! You claim to own 3000 Batman comics and you don't know this?! Read Alex Ross' "Batman: War on Crime," or go watch any trailers of Batman Begins, and learn something about Batman!