fanqarm Reviews

The Forest (1982)

Do not go into the woods.. And don't watch this either.

[1/10 · 23 October 2007]

One of the most boring slashers ever.. If you can even call it that. I wouldn't watch this if it even ended up being some kind of porno movie, which it completely resembles. The fact that you're watching a small group of middle-aged people in the woods is really unbearable. They made these kinds of movies for teens, so who were they really aiming for when they made this sleep-fest? My favorite part of this movie is the cover art and it's the only reason I chose to seek out this movie, which happened to be part of a Suspense Classics 50 Movie Pack.. and after seeing the other movies in this 50 pack, you'll realize that it belongs nowhere else. So if you're in the mood for a decent slasher in the woods, I recommend Just Before Dawn and The Final Terror.

Wassup Rockers (2005)

This reminds me a lot of The Warriors...

[7/10 · 21 November 2006]

This reminds me a lot of The Warriors because throughout the second half of the film, there couldn't be more obstacles keeping them from getting back to their home. Certain parts of this are very surprising to me and it's funny how many things happen to this group of kids. A little tame for a Larry Clark film but still very entertaining. My favorite characters in this are Kico, Milton (aka Spermball), and Jonathon, but it seems like they all remind me of people I know or once knew. That's the thing when you're watching real people try to act. It's just more exciting that way. One thing I'd change about it would be to make it a little longer because the ending is really abrupt.

Rush Week (1989)

Not enough death... Or anything else.

[3/10 · 19 November 2006]

Pamela Ludwig was my main attraction to this movie in the first place. Oh, and also the fact that it was a slasher movie from the 1980's, set at a college. You really have to be patient with this one though. It doesn't really pay off like it should in the end. In my opinion, there needed to be way more deaths and way more murder suspects. I would never consider this movie a favorite unless my house burned down, leaving me to decide between this or Doom Asylum (which no one should EVER see). And I just remembered the fact that this was from 1989, making it fairly decent considering the circumstances but its still no Intruder (which everyone SHOULD see).

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Classic Camp Slasher

[5/10 · 19 November 2006]

Ultimate Classic. This may have even been the first slasher that got me into collecting. Of course, I had been into the Friday the 13th series that always seemed to play on TNT but everyone seems to forget all those other films. You may think of them as rip-offs to Friday the 13th and Halloween, but some of them are actually a lot better. Im not trying to say that this is better than any of those though, just know that there ARE good ones out there. This one is cheesy and stupid but it did take place at summer camp which is a great aspect in a slasher. If anything, I'd recommend the DVD commentary over the actual movie, because I really enjoyed hearing Felissa Rose and Robert Hiltzik talk about the making of this.

Funeral Home (1980)

Boring compared to mid-80's Slashers

[3/10 · 19 November 2006]

Okay, now I had originally seen the trailer for this on the Just Before Dawn VHS tape that I found on ebay. The trailer was done pretty poorly, much like the movie. I'd been looking for this title on DVD for the longest time and finally found it among 49 other B-Films on a 50 movie pack called Chilling Classics. Which, I have to say, was a pretty good deal for roughly twenty-three dollars. Afterall, there were other films in this pack I was interested in.

Anyway, this movie couldn't have been made in a better era although is looks like it was made in the 70's. Bad lighting, fair sound and decent acting. But of course, you see one slasher and you've seen them all. It's obvious who the killer is but you still continue to watch. There was some gore in this, better than none at all, but they could have tried a little harder to make the deaths more exciting.

Higher Education (1988)

Way Too Canadian for a DVD Release

[4/10 · 18 November 2006]

I found this on ebay a few years back due to Isabelle Mejias having a starring role in it. It was just okay. The clothes that she wore in this were hideous, but I'll forgive her, seeing how this was made in the late 80's. But for some reason when I saw her all dressed up in red and yellow I found myself wanting a McDonalds cheeseburger. Hmm. Anyway, I was also happy to see another actress from Heavy Metal Summer in this. Don't know her name though. My opinion is that this is way too Canadian for me. Releasing it on DVD really wouldn't be a good move. Why waste the plastic on this when they could be releasing other Isabelle Mejias movies on DVD?

Club Dread (2004)

The BEST Slasher Spoof... EVER!

[9/10 · 28 September 2006]

Some may think that the only slasher or horror movie spoofs were part of the Scary Movie franchise.. If so, let them have that. They don't deserve such brilliance. In fact, there's been a bunch along the years that really focus on the slasher genre, but none will ever be as good as this one. Broken Lizard really pulls this one off quite well. I say, after they've calmed down from the hype from Beer Fest, make a Club Dread sequel. Of course, people would question why characters who died in the first installment would return in the sequel, but that would make it all the more hilarious... See this movie. Buy it. Spread the word.

Edge of the Axe (1988)

Not Bad. But Not Very Good.

[5/10 · 28 September 2006]

Not Bad. But Not Very Good for a slasher flick. When I sit down to watch an old slasher movie, I tend to look for a few key elements. One - A plot twist at the ending.. Now don't get me wrong, this had one, but it wasn't very effective in my opinion. Two - Nudity.. This seems like a given in most slashers of the 80's but this had very little or none at all. Three - The 1980's. When I'm watching an 80's slasher I want to constantly be reminded that this was the era it took place in, but I had a hard time with that due to the score of the movie. There were too many guitar instrumentals throughout this movie, making it seem almost like a really bad 70's porno. And without the nudity. Four - Gore. Not too much of it in this one, but every death was shown on screen which is a plus.. But aside from all of that? A pretty decent flick.

Intruder (1989)

THE BEST slasher of 1989

[6/10 · 12 October 2005]

If this had been made before 1985, it would have been an ultimate classic. But unfortunately, it was made in 1989. Talk about the end of an era. It's safe to say that this is THE BEST slasher of 1989 and also the very last good slasher flick of the 80's. It had every key element needed - a female lead role, decent acting, campy humor, great gore and the twists at the ending. Another thing that I liked was that Renee (Yes, Emilio's sister) Estevez was in the movie. I first saw her in Sleepaway Camp II, so seeing her in yet another classic horror flick made me happy. For some reason or another, Bruce Campbell has a bit part in the end of the movie as a police officer. Weird. Check this out! I'm not sure if its on DVD yet. I bought a copy off ebay and there were Chinese subtitles at the bottom of the screen. Other than that, I was grateful.

Camp Fear (1991 Video)

If this movie was made two years earlier...

[2/10 · 4 September 2005]

If this movie was made two years earlier it could have been a lot better. But unfortunately, it was made in the decade that had no idea about how a horror movie was supposed to look or act. When I first heard about this movie, people on IMDb were classifying it as the sequel to Cheerleader Camp. Oh how wrong they were. Yes, Betsy Russell was in it but Uma Thurman sure wasn't. I'd really like to find the person who started that whole sequel rumor. I'm sure a lot of us would though. I'm not gonna give anything away because frankly I don't remember how this movie even ends! I'm just gonna tell you to watch a real camp horror movie... The Burning starring Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens, Holly Hunter & the geek from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. A word to the wise - Just because a horror movie has the word camp in the title, doesn't mean its gonna be worth watching. Oh, and another thing, ANY HORROR FLICK MADE IN THE EARLY TO MID 90's WAS EVER CONSIDERED EVEN REMOTELY GOOD!

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

One of the better Friday the 13th sequels

[7/10 · 4 September 2005]

No, this one doesn't have Corey Feldman in it and it doesn't take place at a halfway house but its still pretty damn good. This one probably has the best opening out of all the movies in the series. And it actually takes place during summer camp, unlike all of the rest. Tommy Jarvis (previously played by Feldman) returns yet again to fight off Jason after accidentally bringing him back to life. Oooh, spooky. And yet again Tommy is played by a different actor, making things only a little confusing. But after part V, I'm sure the audience doesn't really expect much. If I could wish for a few more elements in this particular movie, they would be... MORE SEX, DRUGS & ROCK N ROLL!

Moonstalker (1989)

I cant believe you even looked this one up!

[1/10 · 16 October 2004]

IT IS So Sad. Even though this was shot with film i think it stinks a little bit more than flicks like Blood Lake, There's Nothing Out There & . The music they play in this is the funniest stuff i've ever heard. i like the brother and sister in this movie. They both don't try very hard to sound sarcastic when they're saying stuff like "My friends are going to be so jealous!" Hey, whats with the killer only wearing his mask in the beginning? Thats retarded! I practically ignored the second half of this. My favorite part about this movie is the sound effect they use when the killer is using the axe. The same exact sound for every chop!

Final Exam (1981)

College Campus Slasher

[15 October 2004]

This is way better than Splatter University and Graduation Day but the killer wasn't really cutting it for me in this film. Especially toward the end. Yeah, I'll admit I liked the death scenes and the gore, but the climax is really kind of lame. In the beginning of this movie you are terribly mislead when a van of masked teens drive by in a van and start unloading on students in the quad. Later on you find out it was just a prank. Nothing like this happens during the rest of the movie except for a fraternity pledge getting tied to a tree during the night and getting murdered. Really kind of boring between these two segments. Watching the two leading roles is funny.

The Prowler (1981)

Good GORE

[15 October 2004]

I give this movie 10/10 for gore but the rest made me bored. Tom Savini did the effects which were all really cool and very messy. Joseph Zito (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter) directed it. Not too exciting. A few good scenes but with constant bad dialogue. This movie is quite similar to My Bloody Valentine. A killer returns from the past to exact their revenge on a group of young people during a dance. Didn't really care for the killer's costume. Or their identity. But it was obvious through the entire movie so maybe thats why I was so bored. I get this movie confused with House of Death a lot for some reason. Now that was a BAD movie.

Madman (1981)

Another slasher from 1981 (not 1982)

[14 October 2004]

ah, yes! Madman. This DVD is generally pretty cheap if you find it in the right place. And believe me, its worth it if you're into horror movies that take place in the wilderness. No, this isn't a "Summer Camp" movie like Friday the 13th or the Burning but it still gets the job done. My favorite thing about this movie was the colors and texture of the film. Really clean looking and sharp, unlike most slashers from this particular year. The movie starts out with a group of young people around a camp fire, telling the story of Madman Marz. It is said that if you say his name above a whisper he will come after you. And of course, one of the campers decides to yell out his name into the night as a joke. BAD MOVE! One by one, people begin disappearing until the bloody climax! Who will survive?! You'll be surprised.

The Last Slumber Party (1988 Video)

God this one is GOOD!

[13 October 2004]

Wow! You have every possible element in this movie. The year is 1987. 3 Teenage girls have a slumber party. Their immature boyfriends stop by to try and scare them. twists and turns! JOKES! but its really funny, the mom of the girl who is having the slumber party is at home as well. ORIGINALITY! the worst actor in the film by far is the Dad, who is a doctor. Oh the orange juice. The best acting however is done by the killer himself.

Far better than Sorority House Massacre! As if thats too difficult for you to believe. But of course we still should say thanks to Slumber Party Massacre for being the true creator of the slumber party slasher craze.

Terror Train (1980)

Jamie Lee Curtis' Best Slasher Movie

[13 October 2004]

As far as I'm concerned this is Jamie Lee Curtis' best slasher movie. I'm sorry, but Halloween and Halloween II bore me to tears. And Prom Night?! Don't even get me started with that slumber party. Terror Train takes place on... Well, on a train. Obviously. I bought this more recently than a lot of my slashers because of the setting. But after I bought it I was amazed by how good it was. Prom Night's twist ending was lame. Halloween doesn't have any twist ending. But the ending of this really impressed me for some reason. So if you like slasher flicks with a twist... BUY THIS!! Its on DVD now! Oh and you totally have to check out the cool magician in this movie! I think he's related to David Copperfield.

Just Before Dawn (1981)

Backwoods Slasher Masterpiece

[13 October 2004]

This movie is one of the best backwoods slashers... EVER! First of all, this came out in 1981, the year for all of the best horror flicks. Of course, all the movies released in 1981 were basically riding the coat tails of movies like Friday the 13th, Halloween and Prom Night which were released in 1980 and earlier, but still. Anyway, this movie is great. There's even a Blondie song that plays in the movie. And the very end scene? Priceless! You might never see anything like it in another movie... EVER!!! Don't waste your time with garbage like The Final Terror and Wrong Turn. Find this movie and buy it! Its hard to find, but its out there. Waiting for you.

Blood Lake (1987)

Even worse than Phantom Brother!

[7 October 2004]

This is only the 2nd horror flick shot with video that I've seen, the

other being Phantom Brother. And I thought that that was bad. Don't

check this out whatever you do! Anyone who reads this can easily get a group of friends together

and make a video that is 20 times better than this. seriously! And who was the person who said that this was better than The

Last Slumber Party?! That was a work of art! I thought it would be equally as good, seeing how they were both

from 1987. the coolest thing about the movie is a shot of the moon

that lasts 3 seconds. the worst thing about the movie is a quick

shot of the tiniest spider, during a murder.

Happy Birthday to Me (1981)

One of the ultimate classics

[15 January 2004]

This was quite different from any other slasher that came out in the 80's. You could tell that they really wanted their death scenes to be set apart from all the other slashers. I mean, who can resist this movie after seeing the cover anyway? I was a little disappointed to see the 'actual' shish kabob scene as opposed to what they have on the movie cover. but hey, thats marketing for you. Although none of the characters were very likeable, the theme of the movie keeps you going. I would have hated the movie if they hadnt thrown in that last twist in the end though.

New Year's Evil (1980)

Bad Bad Bad

[5 January 2004]

This movie was not only boring, it wasnt even suspenseful.

I admit, the first five minutes were brilliant, but the rest of the movie fell short. We find out who the killer is right away, thus ruining the whole point of sitting through such dreck. I dont even remember how it ended because it was so bad.

Sorority House Massacre (1986)

kind of dull if you ask me - spoilers

[8 October 2003]

To start with: Beth has way too many flashbacks. There are too many coincidences. I found it really boring watching everyone run from this guy. They didn't really play up his anonymity, which is one of the key elements to a good slasher flick. The least scary kind of slasher movie is the kind about the escaped mental patient. Unless, of course, he's wearing a mask of some sort, concealing his identity. Otherwise, you basically know all there is to know about the killer and immediately lose interest. It's better to not know some things about the killer.

The only things I liked about this movie were the killer's inability to recognize his own sister and the fact that all the girls decide to watch TV while their power is out.

Cheerleader Camp (1988)

One of the better Slashers Ive seen

[7 October 2003]

Yes, Cheerleader Camp is a bit cheesy, but I feel it's one of the better slashers I've seen. In the tradition of Sleepaway Camp type movies, it really delivers comically as well as the suspense and horror. Laden with mid 80's sex and shenanigans, snobby cheerleaders, creepy care-takers and the lovable, overweight video voyeur Timmy. How could anyone refuse?

Although I feared that Leif Garret would destroy the authenticity of the movie, after the first five minutes I realized it could not be done. He really captured the sleazy boyfriend persona quite well. And I was really happy to see Lucinda Dickey (from Breakin' & Breakin' 2) as 'Cory' the team mascot.

So if you ever see this in a video store, be sure to rent it. But don't hold out on trying to locate the sequel. There's a rumor that it doesn't even exist. Maybe Uma Thurman knows.. She supposedly starred in it.