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The Dirties (2013)
10/10
Watching THE DIRTIES made me feel dirty.
10 July 2014
Warning: Spoilers
If I were to sum it up in a single sentence, watching THE DIRTIES made me feel dirty.

THE DIRTIES is about two teenagers, Matt and Owen, who are making a comedy film about getting revenge on their school bullies which Matt labels "The Dirties". However, as Matt continuously raves about his plans for the shooting - both referring to the film and to the school shooting he's been excitedly telling Owen about, it soon becomes clear that everything is becoming all too real.

From writing, directing, and acting in his own movie, Matt Johnson shines as the troubled teenager Matt, His angst against the bullies in his school and the psychotic measures he comes up with while remaining arguably sane translates perfectly to film, and the effect is simply jarring. Add to that his best friend Owen, played by Owen Williams, who slowly descends from being very supportive of his friends ideas to totally taking a 180-degree turn when he realizes the gravity of the situation, and the result is a disturbing masterpiece into the mind of a disturbed individual who gets pushed too far and goes even further.

The camera-work for the movie is astounding. Not a moment in the film felt fake, even though at times I was questioning myself and asking "this is supposed to be a found-footage movie, so who is documenting everything?" The answer to that would come much later in the film. When the realization of the camera's purpose in the movie hits you, it hits you hard. The strength of the effect only adds to what could only be described as a dreadful finale to this tragic story. There's simply no looking away as Matt finally pulls out the guns and lets all hell break loose.

THE DIRTIES starts out like an innocent comedy romp and ends up being a modern classic, a thoughtful exploration of the troubled human psyche that also serves as a scathing commentary on the issues of bullying and school violence, and the things that regular people would normally consider as harmless entertainment.
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Afflicted (2013)
10/10
Way, WAY better than expected.
29 May 2014
Warning: Spoilers
AFFLICTED baits you with its first act: a travel diary by best friends Derek and Clif (played by Derek Lee and Clif Prowse)on a journey around the world, recording their whole trip with multiple cameras and uploading the videos on their web log. Derek, as it turns out, has a malformation in his brain that can erupt at any moment and paralyze or kill him. This fuels their desire to finish the trip before Derek bites it.

This set-up, a story in itself, is only building up to the second act: the night that Derek is struck with an unknown affliction that, unexpectedly, gives him superhuman strength, speed, and agility. We get to witness their awe and amazement as they, over the course of many nights and days, try to test the limits of Derek's abilities. However, the affliction slowly cripples Derek with an insatiable appetite for human blood, and we see the duo resort to all methods to alleviate this.

Everything that happens after, the third act, is the core of the movie. We get to see no-holds-barred action sequences with intense realism and majesty from Derek's viewpoint. All of this is because Derek seeks to find the girl that he believes gave him the affliction in the first place, and possibly a cure for his sickness. His desire to get healed takes us on a run with a "fugitive" unwilling to accept his fate.

AFFLICTED might look like a run-of-the-mill hand-held camera movie, but it single-handedly manages to revitalize the genre (along with a few others) thanks to the performances of the two leads. Derek Lee and Clif Prowse as every bit believable as they are sympathetic, and the insertion of their real lives into the movie helps sell the realism they are going for. Plus, the CGI is kept to a minimal, with the movie resorting to actual stunts and trickery with wires (thanks to a limited budget) than a guy in front of a green-screen landscape. Whatever CGI is present, though, is only there to enhance the visuals and not there to take away the attention of the audience. Also, for a movie shot hand-held-style, the picture is not really jerky and nauseating to watch. The cinematography is artistic and well-done, bringing out the beauty of the locations as well as the grit of the gore.

AFFLICTED is a movie that deserves to be watched repeatedly. It refreshes almost every genre touched by the hand-held craze, as well as some others you would be least expecting to see here.
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Insidious (I) (2010)
INSIDIOUS - It wasn't scary... it was TERRIFYING.
3 October 2011
I never really wanted to buy the DVD. I was looking for "The Expendables" but the video store had none, so I bought a DVD of "Insidious". Due to the disappointment I experienced, I readied myself for an extremely cheesy "horror" film. (Although my friend said this was very scary, I dismissed that thought for a while.) Well, what do you know? This movie is not scary.

IT IS TERRIFYING!

To be extremely honest, I can't remember the last time I watched a movie and felt so horrified. Think "Paranormal Activity" and you'd expect jump scares. This movie thinks disturbing (super-disturbing) images. Think "Saw" and you'd expect even at least one gore scene. There wasn't any. This movie thinks of turning the otherwise mundane Lambert family's life into a shock fest chock-full of spooky guitar strings and smiling corpses. And don't think you'll be limited to a single apparition. This movie thinks A WHOLE DIMENSION of lost souls craving for life. Add a very disturbing demon and you're more than sold! The plot is unique. (To me, at least. I don't know how many movies have this plot, if there are any.)And the ending was a total shock that, when I thought I saw what was coming, the movie twists the whole thing around and makes you re-think what the hell just happened.

"INSIDIOUS". This wasn't a movie. This was a masterpiece in horror. Promise, every second is a delightfully terrifying treat!

10/10 (I would have put 11/10, but the system won't let me.)
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9/10
Really, really, REALLY fun 3D roller coaster ride - worth the 2-year wait and more!
28 August 2011
Warning: Spoilers
What would you be willing to do when Death comes for you? That's the question explored in the popular franchise's fifth installment that delivers a solid experience for fans and non-fans alike.

Sam Lawton, his girlfriend Molly Harper and their officemates head out to a company retreat that fateful day. However, as they are crossing North Bay Bridge, Sam has a violent premonition of the bridge collapsing, killing everyone on it (well, almost everyone) including himself. As he pulls out of his dream, he convinces Molly and some others to get off the bus. As his officemates wonder about his actions, his vision plays out and gives everyone a run for their lives as the bridge (spectacularly) begins to collapse for real. Now branded "The Lucky Eight", the survivors begin to accept the tragedy and move on with their lives.

But however lucky they might have been, something is not willing to let them live for long. Sometime afterwards, the survivors start to die one by one in bizarre and gruesome accidents. As the terrible reality that Death will come for them as well sinks in, Mortician William Bludworth approaches them and tells them about a new way to survive. According to him, they must kill someone so that they "take their spot in the realm of the living... all the days and years that they've yet to live", and their victims would then take their place in death, "then the books are balanced." As the body count rises, it becomes a nerve-wracking struggle to survive Death's sadistic game.

Final Destination 5 is not your ordinary FD movie. Sure, it follows the mandatory premonition-escape-Death comes for them all approach, but it is the addition of this new rule that steers the movie's plot to a whole new direction, because really, you should never EVER kill someone, albeit a completely random stranger. But if it was your ONLY path to surviving?

The premonition is superb. The bridge collapse is unnervingly realistic, but not realistic enough to make you forget you're watching an FD movie. Sure, it's unlikely that people would get impaled by boat masts and rebars and get sliced in half by corrugated steel metal sheets when an actual collapse does occur, but that's what it's all about. It's gory, in-your-face violence that makes your jaw drop but still lets you enjoy the experience.

The death scenes are crazier and more realistic this time around. A problem with the last movie was that the deaths were too implausible and takes the fun right out of the movie, but in this installment, the producers aimed for the "more likely to happen" approach. Take for instance the gymnast's death. Sure, not every gymnast could die like that, but is it really impossible? More likely would be a very slim chance of it happening, but likely nonetheless. The chain of events leading to the deaths affects the characters in such a way that it seems more natural altogether...

... which brings us to the characters. They are not the stereotypical 2D cardboard cut-outs that you usually see in these type of films, but they actually have depth this time around. You can feel their excitement when good things come their way, and their grief and sorrow when someone dies (not necessarily) in front of them. Most evident is the emotion between lead Sam (played by Nicholas D'Agosto) and his girlfriend Molly (Emma Bell). At first, they feel that their relationship is going nowhere, but when Death comes for them, they realize that they still have feelings for each other. They reconcile, and then they start to work together. They are actually as 3D as the movie itself.

And now comes the fun part. The 3D was AWESOME. In most cases, it tends to blur the action especially in dark settings such as nighttime, but not in FD5. Even at night scenes, the depth is there and doesn't make you have a headache or anything like that. Also, things that aren't supposed to be popping out the screen stay there, giving depth to the scenery, and those supposed to jut out or be poked or thrown right at our faces do their job wonderfully. Glass shards fly out the screen in such a manner that your neck feels like it's gonna be sliced, needles look like they'll really puncture you, and lasers look so close to you that you may actually feel it burning your eyeball. To say the least, it was crystal-clear, super-fine and simply amazing. Kudos to the filmmakers who really exerted their effort.

FINAL DESTINATION 5. Not exactly the best movie in history, but certainly the biggest, bloodiest, craziest and most terrifyingly fun 3D experience of the year! Haste no more and rush to theaters near you,and if you can(and I'm telling you, you SHOULD), watch it in 3D. Best way to go, it'll be worth your every penny. :-D

9/10
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10/10
Yes, it's that great!
4 July 2011
I never thought I would find this one beautiful. I've never been a fan of the first and second one, but I like them nonetheless. When I found out my Mom was going to make me watch this, I had low expectations.

But after I watched the film, I realized I was wrong. The movie pulls it off. I never thought I would like this one but ended up LOVING it. This is a simple tale of freedom and the will to claim it against all odds. The acting was top-notch, and I have to give Rosie Huntington-Whiteley due credit for making a great performance which is not bad for a first-timer. Shia was as usual excellent and so were the other actors. Their performances complement the simplistic storyline to give it a kick it deserves.

And finally, there are the Autobots and Decepticons. They have been the CGI masterpieces that they are ever since the first one, and now it seems they've just secured their spot as the most charming CG robots on Earth and Cybertron. (Yes, I found even Megatron quite great.) In Dark of the Moon, they are not just rendered robots but somehow, the makers were able to breathe personality and even more life into all of them. Kudos to Michael Bay for directing this great third act to the Transformers franchise. I just wish there is no more 4th film as it might ruin the greatness in the series.

10/10
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Piranha 3D (2010)
10/10
Piranha 3D: The Future of Gory Creature Features
18 October 2010
Warning: Spoilers
This film will make you, if not titillated, disgusted with all the T&A and F&B&B (Flesh and Blood and Bones) it will throw at your face for almost 88 minutes, but that's how it's supposed to be. "Piranha 3D" might not be the best film out there, but pretty damn close! For starters, it's got big names you're already familiar with: Shue, Scott, Rhames, Dreyfuss, O'Connell, among others. Then there are the newbies (McQueen one of them), and then the porn stars (Riley Steele, Gianna Michaels, etc.). But the movie doesn't rely much on star power. In fact, it hardly even does. What it relies on are its CGI killer fish, which in my opinion, were really impressive in the way they were were brought to life in the big screen. The way they move is realistic enough, although in some points in the movie, you can tell they're - well - CGI. But I don't care, they're cute nonetheless. The 3D. Honestly,I never got to watch this in 3D, so for those who've seen it in 3D, you decide for yourself if it's worth it. And the blood. Oh the blood. Remember that Comic-Con footage they removed because it was too bloody? Well, that was nothing compared to the whole scene. The real cinematic scene is WAY bloodier and more disgusting than anybody could have imagined. That was just about 1/9 of the movie. The remaining 8, well, let's just say I won't give them away. Congratulations to Alexandre Aja for directing such a fine piece of cinema. See it, don't see it, I don't care. For me, I loved it, "Piranha 3D" kicks all other killer fish movies' butts!

Rated R for sequences of strong bloody horror violence (REALLY STRONG) and gore, graphic nudity (REALLY GRAPHIC), sexual content, language and some drug use (WELL, NOT REALLY).
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April Fool's Day (2008 Video)
7/10
An OK movie with a twist...
23 August 2009
This movie provides you with the basics of a slasher movie: starts out with a festive occasion that then becomes a horrific scene. Then the fun begins, as someone gets cut up in here and another in the next. But the real fun begins when it reaches the ending... there's a twist (actually, 2 twists) that left me feeling shocked, relieved, the shocked again, then angry. If you want to know what I'm talking about, watch it. At your own risk. The movie is dull and boring the first half and gets more and more exciting as it goes on. I'm not exactly sure if I like this movie because I somewhat feel disappointed but at the same time satisfied at what I just watched. The final judgment: it's up to you.
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