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Reviews
The Deep House (2021)
Jump scares do not an epic film make
I had to stop after the first half hour. I was hoping the male lead would be murdered bloodily, in tremendous agony, so I could move on with my evening. What a jerk! The girl is automatically dumb as a rock for letting him bully her and play slimy middle school level pranks. So exhausting.
Since I didn't care about the survival of two useless characters, I did laundry instead. I win!
The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)
This could have been disturbing...
...if only there had been a shred of emotion in it. There was no one to like in this film, they were cardboard cutouts put into useless motion by one pretty ordinary teenager. I'm mystified why, other than the big names and high production values, anyone bothered to distribute this opaque and uninvolving film.
Greek myth? Really? People usually find such tales gripping, not tedious. I guess I'm not one of those people. I only finished watching this, on quick mode, to see what the end could possibly be, to understand what other viewers found so enriching, and I am the poorer for it. Yawn.
Cut, Color, Murder (2022)
You're kidding, some producer approved this?
The premise is strained, at best. Such a small area couldn't possibly have enough people willing to spend the thousands it takes for clothing and hair/makeup, plus entry fees, for a no big deal pageant. Add the bad dialogue and poor acting, and I didn't last until the first commercial. I'm very glad there were several roles for older women in this film, but I just couldn't stand to listen to the contrived mini-battle every ninety seconds.
Jolt (2021)
8 stars for the first half with Jai Courtney - *Spoiler Warning*
This movie was going very well until the writer decided the only way to motivate the bizarre protagonist was to kill the best character, the nicest role I've ever seen Jai Courtney portray. I was so taken aback by his death in service to the plot that I stopped watching this film. Eight stars for Courtney's lovely portrayal of a really nice guy, zero stars for the latter half.
Grey's Anatomy: Someone Saved My Life Tonight (2021)
Part fantasy, part hope, I guess.
I watched this episode because I've watched every other one at least once. Maggie's wedding on the beach had me howling with laughter, though. April 2021 in Seattle was in the 40s and 50s F, and she's not wearing a wool coat. THAT is total fantasy! The rest is the usual ups and downs and successes and failures in life and in medicine. This past year+ of Covid has definitely soured me on endless bent knees and expensive jewelry to define relationships. Honesty and true commitment are more important, yet less in evidence.
Grey's Anatomy: Leave a Light On (2020)
So. Old. Hat.
This episode plays like the wrap-up to a long series after an key actor leaves just a bit too soon, and the writers scramble to fit his absence in with everything else. What a shockingly BAD EPISODE!! We invested all these years in forgiving Karev and now he flits off, abandoning everything because another, equally screw-you selfish, character beckons. Unworthy. It's lazy writing to make the entire episode from flashbacks, you'd think there was a writers' strike on.
Station 19: Ice Ice Baby (2020)
Lame writing, bad research staff
I live north of Seattle, where this show is allegedly set. The very opening shot of this episode features the audio of a news broadcast wherein the news drone announces that the snowstorm has power lines down in Seattle and King counties. There is no Seattle county, Seattle is wholly inside King county.
Important in the time when coronavirus threatens the entire world? Not very, yet I was pulled out of the story and felt forced to correct this basic factoid. Some Americans may be content to be led by a clueless liar with no grasp of how things work, and no concern for facts, but I am not one of them. I hadn't thought Shonda Rimes would be one, either.
The Code: Secret Squirrel (2019)
Illiterate, uncultured writers? Seriously?
"There's a span in the works, ma'am." The correct term is spanner, the British work for wrench. I'm guessing nobody in charge at the production company is over 30, or reads much. If you get all your information from TV, you're uninformed. Sadly, all of this show's viewers just got a bit less informed.
Dunkirk (2017)
Such bad storytelling
I've seen good films made by Nolan, and I've seen WW II films of all qualities, but this is a horrendously bad film of any genre. After seeing the two recent Churchill biographies we thought this would fit into the theme, but anyone interested in history should avoid it. Appallingly disorganized and badly directed by Nolan, only the abilities of the seasoned actors held this disaster's head above water.
Rim of the World (2019)
Wow, hideous stereotypes I didn't see coming. Bad director.
I liked the idea of this film, and I was willing to put up with all the heavy handed jive nonsense at the beginning, when the white boy arrives at the camp to be greeted by the black counselors. Yawn. But the character of Dariush is so blatantly obnoxious, he's everything you could hate in a spoiled brat/ugly gangsta mouth/fake as hell non-real-man, minus any redeeming values. Who thought that was a good idea? Aren't we over the whole racial stereotyping thing, in favor of writing real people into movies?
In the 2017 film "Get Out," the main character, so well-played by Daniel Kaluuyah, is expected to act like Dariush, only it turns out he's an educated, complex, real person. Now this? Don't make me get Jordan Peele all over you! I thought he went too far in "Get Out," now I see the truth: he barely went far enough. I apologize to Mr Peele, as this director needs to do. Urgently. Now.
I can praise the writing of the other characters, and the production values. If this film looked as bad as the director's choices with Darius, it would never have reached my attention. Commercial death is barely sufficient for this type of dreck.
The Silence (2019)
I knew this movie was scaring me because...
...half an hour into it, without realizing what I was doing, I closed the windows and drew the drapes, hours before I normally would do so. I enjoyed the look and the thoughtful direction of John Krasinski's A Quiet Place, and I felt the emotions of the characters, but I did not barricade the house and stifle my allergy sneezes.
Stanley Tucci is a fine actor, as I am always reminded no matter what genre he's playing, and the cast is well-chosen, the ensemble meshes very well. Good job, Netflix.
The Shape of Water (2017)
Beautiful, stylish film with big plot flaws
As with Pan's Labyrinth, Del Toro's film just misses in key areas. He does what he wants, what looks good or causes a sudden shock to the viewer despite a lack of logic and against human nature. The production design is first rate, the sets are characters in their own right, nearly eclipsing the humans in some scenes. The musical score is delightful, but not quite as retiring into the background as the Making of... short suggested.
I gave this film 8 stars for gorgeous visuals with flawed writing. I wanted to go to 9, then read what I wrote and couldn't do it.
Examples of what made no sense:
Why didn't the artist mourn his just-devoured cat? He just shrugged it off moments later, maybe because there's plenty more cats to go around?? Weird.
How was the fish man not seen as he went into the theater, empty but running the film anyway. Who was in the projection booth? Very weird.
Why wasn't the building owner more upset about the huge, destructive flood? Super weird.
Yet, the film was engrossing because of Michael Shannon's single-minded yet self-destructive ambition, he really carried the film. Richard Jenkins's character was charming, but weak, Olivia Butler was excellent, and Doug Jones was fabulous. Sally Hawkins was brave and daring as an actress, and completely vulnerable yet determined as a character. We felt the pacing wasn't quite intense enough, but not enough to quibble about.
I wish I knew why Del Toro just misses each time. I suspect it's a European vs American sensibility situation. His visuals, though, are so wonderful I'll keep watching his films for that pleasure alone.