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fiddlemaster3000
Reviews
Future War (1997)
I'm card-bored
If there were a MasterCard commercial about Future War, it would go a little something like this...
-Toy dinosaurs: 5$
-Plaid shirts from the K-Mart bargain bin: 23$
-Many, many cardboard boxes: The producer's uncle manages a box factory, so they could use it free for a few hours.
-"Cyborg" costumes rented from Larry's Costurama: 49$
-Gallon of red paint used as blood: 10$.
-The money it cost to send the director to film school: Not applicable.
-Watching Mike Neslon, Crow and Tom Servo rip this movie apart: priceless.
There are movies in life that money can buy. For everything else, there's Mystery Sceince Theater 3000.
American Dad! (2005)
Terror alert: yellow for uninspired rehash
This show is created by Seth Macfarlane, so you have to expect it to be somewhat similar to Family Guy, and the inevitable comparisons, but come on! Everything about American Dad and Family Guy is identical, right down to the title. You could switch those words around and call either show American Guy or Family Dad and it would make sense. You have your dumb father, except he's dumb in a patriotic government way, you have the bland housewife, the geeky kid, his outcast sister, Brian is replaced by an alien and Stewie is replaced by a goldfish, and his British accent is turned into a German accent. The art style is exactly the same, the voices are exactly the same, the dad sounds like 75% of the Characters in Family Guy. Message to Seth: other people can do voices too, you know. There's even two wacky news reporters who exchange suggestive sexual banter, except, get this, they're gay!!! They even have lisps!!! Message to TV and movie writers: Making a character gay doesn't automatically make him funny. Gay stereotypes stopped being funny back in the Police Academy movies.
Again this show is just too similar to Famliy Guy to hold out on its own. Look at Futurama, although created by Matt Groening, it is completely different from The Simpsons. Different characters, different art style and colors, different voices, different universe. American Dad is nothing more than Family Guy wearing a Family Guy costume.
Shark Tale (2004)
Meh.
Shark Tale is a movie which was calculated to be a success, not inspired to be one. Unfortunately, someone messed up the calculation. It has no personality of its own, hiding behind references to other movies, pop culture, and products (I saw the Coca-Cola billboard about five times before realizing it said "Coral-Cola". Oh, coral. Heh.) The animation feels as artificial as the story, never feeling like it's taking place underwater. Now that I think of it, why did it take place underwater? The characters don't really act like fish, they just act like whoever is voicing them, or whichever characters they would normally play. The same story could've been about mountain goats or talking staplers. Oh well, I guess the Coral-Cola joke would not have worked in a different setting.
This movie is mildly entertaining at some parts, but mostly unmemorable. If you've ever watched Fresh Prince and thought: "Man this Will Smith guy is funny... but he'd be even funnier as a fish!!!" then this movie is for you. Then again, if you're that person, you're riding a unicorn in the forest of rainbows, because you don't exist.
Dreamworks should really take a close look at what makes Pixar films so great: story, characters, and humor that anyone can relate to. Pixar films are timeless classics; Shark Tale, with all of its "currently hot on MTV" hip hops songs and whatnot, will look ridiculous in ten years. Er, more ridiculous.