JDtheBigGuy Reviews

Breakdown Lane (2017)

Better than expected movie, but editing let it down

[5/10 · 26 October 2023]

It was good enough that I watched the whole film.

It's a standard zombie plot film, done on a budget, however unlike so many, this one has OK to good actors with reasonably natural dialogue. In particular, the female lead was very believable. Fight scenes were shot well enough to hide most of the usual cock-ups that are made when done on the cheap. The zombie actors and their makeup were also better than low budget films usually manage. Special effects were limited, which was just as well, as they were not impressive.

If it wasn't for all the blindingly obvious goofs, I would have given this 6 stars.

Lethal Virus (2021)

An Unforgivable mess

[2/10 · 17 January 2021]

I don't mind watching low budget films, but low budget does not have to mean bad. Especially as bad as this one.

The script is awful and the main reason I only gave this two stars. I have no worries about characters swearing, but I suspect who ever wrote this was paid by the word and had one character barely manage a single sentence without swearing. Characters would shout at other characters telling them to not be noisy and there were plenty of other stupid situations.

The acting is often bad and only occasionally manages to be OK. One actor would change from angry adult to petulant schoolgirl, seemingly unable to keep to one character. In terms of acting, the crowd scenes were better than many other low budget films I have seen.

Continuity is something that did not appear to concern the filmmakers. With multiple mistakes including one period where day became night twice in one day. Characters pointed out to be physically fit would be puffing and panting after running a few yards and then appeared to run for several hours with relative ease.

Surprisingly whilst this film will never win awards for make up or special effects, both were better than you might expect from such a badly made low budget film.

A less awful script, with characters that were not all complete idiots could have earned this film a couple of extra stars.

Countdown (III) (2019)

This started out well and went downhill from there.

[1/10 · 24 January 2020]

I expected I would enjoy this, but was disappointed.

The actors did a good job. in fact almost everything was fine and enjoyable. The one thing that really let this movie down was the script. In general it did well, but all the characters acted like morons and some we got to know acted out of character too. It drives me nuts when writers can't use a little imagination to get us to where they want us to be. Instead they just make their characters do the dumbest things possible no matter how intelligent and streetwise they seem. The Characters IQ seemed to drop as the film continued and by halfway through I could not stand it any longer.

If idiotic characters in horror movies are you idea of a good film then you would likely give this one nine stars.

The Raking (2017)

A new level of bad

[1/10 · 11 March 2017]

I don't know what film people watched to give this over four stars, but if it's this then I suspect they all worked on this film.

The story has more holes than a sieve and there is no excuse for it. I don't expect a lot from low budget movies, but is it that hard to write an unoriginal script that doesn't have every character acting like they have had a lobotomy.

In such a disaster of a movie don't blame the actors who wont win an Oscar, but in the main they did a reasonable job as did the makeup artist/s.

Gorenos (2016)

A horror movie that doesn't think you are a moron.

[7/10 · 30 January 2017]

I didn't expect much from this film, but I got a lot. The writer/s clearly gave this story some thought and credited their audience with at least reasonable intelligence. Unlike so many movies, including those with much bigger budgets that are full of plot holes this story holds it's own. Apart from the occasional slight overacting there was nothing to complain about. Whilst no one actor stood out they all did a good job and were believable. Let yourself get past the first few minutes and this film builds into a worth your time watch. I would recommend this film to horror movies fans and to anyone who appreciates a decent story.

Darkest Day (2015)

Well worth avoiding

[1/10 · 7 June 2015]

One of the worse films I have seen in a long time. It was so bad that I just couldn't watch it through to the end.

At best the actors were mediocre and mostly well below average but the script certainly didn't help them.

The filming appeared like it was done on a home video camera and there were constant out of focus errors. If the shaky camera was on purpose they massively overused it. It also looked like the camera man/woman didn't know how to work the camera and was having a fit the whole time they filmed.

The rip off of every idea from 28 days later was obvious. I have seen better produced, filmed and acted home movies.

Age of Tomorrow (2014 Video)

Suggesting this is awful is a kindness.

[1/10 · 1 July 2014]

I hardly know where to start telling you how this movie is so terrible. The acting if you can call it that was mostly appalling. The script appeared determined to use every cliché stolen from any action movie the writers have ever seen. From "Is that all you've got" and "Blow the thing to hell" to "Let's do this" and the classic, "Go, go, go, go go." The story had more holes than a sieve but in case you are mad enough to want to see this I won't explain how. The CGI had it's moments but not nearly enough to make up for this poor excuse for a sci-fi movie and Robert Picardo didn't do to bad a job in his role as a general. Give this one a miss.

The Secret Village (2013)

A waste of 90 minutes

[1/10 · 28 October 2013]

There are some films that watching them once just isn't enough. The Secret Village is not one of them. In fact watching it once was to much. If I were to recommend anything about this film then it would be to avoid it.

I think who ever edited the film must have done it whilst on a space hopper. Throughout the film we jumped from scene to scene and then back again.

The acting for the main part was passable to good, something I could not say about the script. So much made no sense and so little was explained unless you consider the revelation at the very end was enough to explain it all. It certainly wasn't enough for me.

I cannot say if it was a continuity problem or a post production disaster but there were a lot of scenes where the action of a cut made the action after the cut make no sense.

If you hope to follow the clues to work out what is going on then forget it because so little is explained that it feels as though the ending was just thrown together as a last minute add on.

The Demented (2013)

Disappointedly idiotic

[3/10 · 24 August 2013]

I was not expecting too much from the movie and it proved me right.

The acting seemed at least capable and sometimes quite good with Kayla Ewell and Ashlee Brian standing out a little.

The story line was the standard, people turn to Zombie like creatures and normal people turn to morons. Surely they could get someone to write in sensible characters. We are told it's important to be quiet but throughout the movie not only do the girls scream like banshees, they also constantly talk at the top of their voices or shout. Why is it that decent believable situations and characters are rarely written in to these movies? It's as though the movie makers just want to annoy the audience.

It's a low budget movie so don't expect any great special effects, major celebs or even minor ones. The "28 Days Later" style zombies lack the realism or makeup of said movie.

You might be disappointed by the ends of the movie, but if you have little else to do this is not the worse Zombie film I have ever seen and could have been quite good with believable characters even though it brought nothing new to the genre.

Zombie Massacre (2013)

The only Apocalypse here was the movie

[1/10 · 7 July 2013]

Definition of Apocalypse: An event involving destruction on a catastrophic scale. This movie was destroyed by: 1) A truly lousy script. 2) Acting that was not up to school play level. 3) A director who couldn't remember the few lines he had to "act" 4) Characters that a seven year old could have given more depth to. 5) Special effects that wouldn't have made it into a 70's B movie. 6) A lack of continuity throughout. 7) A last ditch attempt to fix the movie with a semi nude scene. Well it didn't fix it, it just made it worse as it made no more sense than the rest of this truly awful movie.

There was one thing worthy of note and that was the make up. The Zombies did look as though some time and effort had gone into them except for when we got a close up on their hands which looked as though they had come from the local joke shop horror section.

Not so much a B movie, more like a Z movie. Don't watch it, you will never get back the 80 minutes you would waste on it.

The Last Seven (2011)

Worth watching

[4/10 · 30 December 2010]

First off all Danny Dyer fans might be disappointed as his character has very little time on the screen.

You can ignore the claim by Ty Power that the film tells the story of a cataclysmic event that leaves only 7 remaining people on earth and their desperate struggle to understand the events as they are hunted one by one by a demonic power.

All we know right up until the end is that the 7 people find themselves in one small part of London that is completely deserted and they don't know why they are alone or how they got there. It's true that some of them are hunted by Danny Dyer as "the Angel of Death" but the clue is in the name "Angel" not demon.

Mostly the acting is good and Ronan Vibert deserves a mention as he stood out from the others, but the Henry Chambers character just doesn't cut it and I cannot tell if that's because the acting is below par or he had a poor script. Whilst on the subject of the script why is it that every film Dyer is in, the F**K word has to be repeated so many times. It is sometimes needed because Gosh or Blast is not enough but all too often it appears as nothing more than a filler to be used whenever the writer cannot be bothered to write. Perhaps Dyer has a clause that says any film he is in "must have a F**king F**K word every F**king three or four F**king words" There are a couple of twists at the end which add to the film and I would happily watch this again one quiet afternoon when nothing else was on.