imdb-20212 Reviews

Fear the Walking Dead: Remember What They Took from You (2023) Season 8, Episode 1

When shows go bad

[4/10 · 20 May 2023]

The showrunners really took Fear and ran it into the ground. First couple seasons were decent but honestly it was all downhill from the first. There were some high points like Dory but then they killed him off, so...

Then this Season 8 opener. Wow, just bad. Why is everyone wearing fencing masks, just like around camp? And why are they sparring while wearing them, but forgoing any other kind of protection? I mean, if you're not padding up, why bother with face masks either?

Don't get me started on Morgan and Madison... two characters who always seem to think their way is the only way, and they'll kill anyone who thinks otherwise. Put those two together and ... well, it fizzled, so never mind. They seemed just as sure as ever about "I'm always right" but then they do these constant about faces in the span of one episode.

The girl's acting is terrible... I feel bad telling a little kid they can't act, but without constructive criticism, there's no improvement. Take that as a hint to enroll in some acting classes.

There's just so much wrong with this. It's wrong that I feel like I *have* to watch just because Fear is part of TWD universe, but honestly I'm this close to just calling it quits on the whole thing. Forget Dead City, forget Daryl's spin off, forget Fear most of all. I felt that way with World Beyond and the World's Most Annoying Kids but I suffered through. I don't know if I can go through that agony again.

The Unheard (2023)

More like "The Unwatchable"

[4/10 · 6 April 2023]

I thought this looked like an interesting premise, but the plot meandered a bit as time went on. Too many rabbit trails along the way to the real meat of the story, which was pretty bland once you got there.

The overuse of the flashing, distorted TV images was SUPER annoying and the audio was impossible to decipher. At first I didn't know if that was deliberate because of the main character's hearing problems, but I turned on closed captioning and saw that the distorted videos that kept popping up (ad nauseum) actually had dialogue in there.

Had I not had CC enabled, for example, I don't think I would have guessed that at the end, the audio was saying "Say happy fourth of July" over and over. It was so muddied and indistinct. And made no sense... maybe that was a callback to an earlier part of her watching those fuzzy home movies and I just missed it because it was, as my review title says, unwatchable (and inaudible).

The baddy in the movie was entirely predictable and the ending was just "meh" and left you kind of hanging anyway. It's not like I need it all wrapped up in a neat little bow, but there was literally zero denouement, nothing. Just "okay, baddy is dead" and roll credits. Yawn.

Every character was basically two dimensional... you see them on screen, think you're getting some back story and getting to know them, and then they vanish forever, never to be seen again. What's up with that? Screen filler and time padding, that's all.

At best, this story could have been a somewhat interesting half hour twilight zone'ish episode, but they strrrrreetcheeeeed it out to 2 hours, and it shows.

Reminiscence (2021)

Why not move to higher ground?

[5/10 · 6 October 2021]

Okay, so the water levels rose, and people decided they'd rather live in the flooded cities instead of, oh, I dunno, move a bit inland? At least to the new coastline?

Okay, so suspending that bit of disbelief... the rest of the plot wasn't terrible. Not bad to watch if you had nothing better to do.

I love all the condescending positive reviews that claim those of us who give it lower ratings simply don't understand it, like this was some highbrow piece of art that it takes extra brain cells to figure out.

No, we get it... really. It's just not that great. Not terrible, not great... if you have a couple hours to spare and you like the actors involved, or the genre, then sure, give it a try. It won't totally kill your brain cells like a lot of movies. Except trying to figure out why people don't move somewhere a few feet higher than the ocean level...spending who knows how much money to live in a flooded area. But then again, look at New Orleans currently - it's been underwater for centuries, so I guess it's kind of plausible. Or Holland. People are weird.

The Guilty (2021)

Unrealistic, whiny, anti-police nonsense

[2/10 · 15 September 2021]

Maybe this is how emergency call centers work in Denmark. Some lone dude freaking out, crying, and acting emotional is allowed to go into his own little dark room and handle emergency calls unattended. How quaint.

Not sure that's how it works in LA, so I was immediately put off by this American remake.

Throw in all the other implausible dialogue, and characters acting uncharacteristically (you'll know what I mean when you watch it).

Then of course there's the whole anti-cop angle. How woke of them. Bring on the Oscars! Bleagh.

The Misfits (2021)

Simply could not finish this disaster

[2/10 · 4 September 2021]

I got about an hour in and couldn't take any more of it. I had to turn it off. It just got so silly and ridiculous, but not in a good way unfortunately.

I really lost it at the point where they're bringing in the "K-2350" machines. Geez, the acting and dialogue at this point took some kind of weird downward trajectory that took me from "this movie is dumb" to "I want to claw my eyes out" over the course of 5 minutes.

Run, don't walk, away. Not worth the time or effort. If you're like me and got suckered in, do yourself a favor and stop it now. If you ust know how it ends, read some spoiler reviews, I guess. I don't even care enough to bother doing that, but I did hate this movie enough to leave a review and hopefully warn others.

Deserves one star, but I'm going to toss in another one just because I feel sorry for Pierce Brosnan.

Realive (2016)

Good thinking movie, until it became pro-suicide

[2/10 · 7 July 2021]

Good acting, well shot, etc. I did enjoy the premise right up to the end where somehow this movie became pro-suicide - for no good reason at all. There is that school of thought that says "the meaning of life is that it ends" and I guess that's kind of where this movie chose to hang its hat.

Odd choice, and it ultimately left a sour feeling. So stupid that he's given this second chance and mopity mope whatever sad, blah, let's kill ourselves all over again. Yuck. What a cop out. I imagine the writer probably feels that way, and that's sad - I hope they get the help they need. Life has meaning, and in the case of poor Lazarus here, it wasn't over (and as the end shows, it really wasn't over after all). I hope he also got the help he needs, but I imagine the writer is such a sad sack, their version of a sequel just has him repeatedly killing himself and being resurrected because doctors=bad and suicide=good ?

Lapsis (2020)

Workers of the world, unite (in stupidity)

[6/10 · 23 May 2021]

First off, I found the movie interesting. Weird concept, reflection of the gig economy, etc. The main character seemed a little dimwitted, as in slow to catch on to things going on around him or involving him, but whatever.

The message though seemed strange... So a bunch of (lazy?) workers band together. They fear their jobs being automated, so in return they demand *more* benefits, less hours, etc? That sounds like a recipe for companies wanting to automate it even more if you ask me (which nobody did, but there it is).

But then again, that actually is a very interesting point to make, because that actually does happen. People who are worried about losing their jobs to outsourcing, automation, whatever... curiously they face those fears by making themselves more of a nuisance.

I think of the fast food workers who worry about automation in their environment, and also ask for a higher minimum wage. Wait until they find out the real minimum wage is $0.00 because they lost their job to a burger flipping robot. So instead of getting a raise, they get fired. Great.

Anyway, that was my takeaway, from a free market perspective.

The Twilight Zone: You Might Also Like (2020) Season 2, Episode 10

People aren't *that* shallow

[4/10 · 21 April 2021]

The message, to me, seems to be that with the right marketing, combined with human nature, people can be persuaded to get or do something even when they know deep down it's bad for them.

Granted, that's true to an uncomfortably large extent. Look at certain large cities and the types of people running it... one would think that since things are perpetually terrible, they might try something different, but no.

So, there is a point to be made that people can and do act against their own best interest, and certainly against the best interests of mankind.

But not everyone, not by a long shot. You can't even get everyone to agree to do something that actually is good for them, much less get everyone to do something that's bad for them.

This was just way too pessimistic. I guess maybe in the Twilight Zone people might do that.

What's funny is that the aliens all have a hive-mind and are bothered by the individuality of humans. But then the episode's main theme suggests that humans really do all act alike and are easily manipulated. Even the one character we're zoomed in on is expressing her "different-ness" but ultimately falls prey to some human hive-mind nonsense.

I'll chalk that up to sloppy writing and a major contradiction, rather than some clever point they were trying to make.

The Twilight Zone: A Human Face (2020) Season 2, Episode 7

The aliens will talk us all to death

[1/10 · 21 April 2021]

Yawn... apparently all the aliens need to do to take over our planet is show up and give us endless exposition about how they'll take over. No fighting or sci fi explosions, just yammering away and people get so bored they give up.

I didn't buy the whole thing where anybody is going to see this weird alien (that looked like a water bear at first) is really their dead daughter. I get she's grieving and all that, but when you see it's real form, I mean... c'mon. And then when it patiently (and excruciatingly) details their plan at world domination, and you just shrug your shoulders and say "I'm skeptical, but you look like my dead daughter even though I know you're not, but maybe... so, yeah, take us over"

Bleagh. So stupid.

The Twilight Zone: Ovation (2020) Season 2, Episode 4

Unearned applause - much like season 1 of this reboot

[5/10 · 20 April 2021]

While watching this episode, I realized that the writers of season 1 must have had some flash of realization regarding any positive reviews of season 1 episodes.

So they took that moment of clarity and wrote this episode, exploring that notion of unearned applause and appreciation. Well, good on them.

Season 2 is faring much better than season 1, and maybe part of that was an acknowledgment that merely reciting wokey tropes wasn't actually "storytelling", so they went another direction. Like, "hey, how about if we wrote some good episodes for a change?"

Whatever it was, I'd say "keep it up" but then they decided against doing season 3. Oh well. Can't say they'll be missed.

The Twilight Zone: Point of Origin (2019) Season 1, Episode 8

All the subtlety of a hammer to the skull

[1/10 · 19 April 2021]

Yet another wokity woke episode. What a waste of time, talent, energy, etc.

So far, the most upsetting aspect if this reboot is that they're staining the Twilight Zone brand itself. Call it anything else and maybe people wouldn't care so much, but when you call these "TZ" episodes, people come in expecting a certain thing, but instead they're being fed the latest episode of some CNN talk show, with better production values. Meh... spare me.

The Twilight Zone: Replay (2019) Season 1, Episode 3

Exhausting way of showing how NOT to interact with police

[1/10 · 17 April 2021]

Look, some police are admittedly not good people. Emphasis on "some".

But let's face it... black, white, brown, whatever - if you're talking to a cop, there are things you don't do. That's not the time to argue, grab at them, yell, make unexpected movements like whipping out a cell phone, etc.

Let's not pretend that this is a "black only" type of situation. I used to speed a lot when younger and got pulled over plenty of times, and it never once even occurred to me to be rude, argue, whatever. Even on the few occasions when I was pulled over and didn't actually do anything wrong, I just acted respectfully, obeyed the officer, answered his questions. Sometimes it worked and it ended with "have a nice day", and sometimes I got a ticket anyway (which I'd go to court, if I really didn't think I did it). But you're not going to win an argument there on the side of the road.

So I get sick and tired of the narrative that maybe white people get away with things that black people wouldn't. I guarantee that if I was belligerent, backtalked, got all worked up, etc. That things would not end well for me either, no matter what color I am.

This preachiness and ignorance is killing society and apparently it's killing this TZ reboot too. Good going.

Love and Monsters (2020)

Mister Magoo Meets the Apocalypse

[4/10 · 27 March 2021]

The main character is pretty unlikable - I get that they were shooting for a more humorous narrative, but did they have to make him so weak and pathetic in the process?

There's the whole character arc element going on, where we see him develop during his journey, but honestly, he should have died many times over and was only saved by some pretty ridiculous deus ex machina interventions.

I was rooting for the monsters by this point. The kid just didn't have the chops to survive, and in any truly Darwinian sense, he shouldn't have. I shudder to think of the future of the human race descending from this pathetic gene pool.

Rated just a 4 because I was so annoyed at the main conceit of this weakling, who freezes up when faced with danger, deciding he's going to make this trek. Unbelievable. But then he does, and the movie is basically just him "Mr. Magooing" his way along - alternately getting into danger by his own idiocy, and also saved miraculously in silly ways.

I think the real hero's journey is if you're able to finish watching this movie.

Doors (I) (2021)

So I thought - "how bad could it be?" - Big mistake

[3/10 · 23 March 2021]

I saw the reviews were pretty low, but the concept sounded intriguing and I gave it a try anyway.

The reviews are correct however - this really isn't that good.

Overall, I think of it as a collection of 4 shorts that all have a central scenario - the arrival of mysterious objects they decide to call "Doors", and different ways people interact with them.

And that's it. I have my theory on why they showed up and what their purpose is, but I want to keep it spoiler free. It seems pretty clear based on a few big giveaways that the one door itself reveals, and a certain scene at the very end of the 3rd part.

Becky (II) (2020)

Becky was so annoying, I was rooting for the skinhead

[5/10 · 10 March 2021]

I get that a dying parent is tough for a kid, but c'mon, Becky was just annoying.

By the time you get to the main plot, honestly I was rooting for Kevin James to knock this little brat back to reality, and then maybe we'd have a funny little sitcom. Maybe called "White-ish" with a tagline like "Becky did Nazi this coming!"

But seriously, I kept having weird vibes like this was Home Alone, but if Kevin was a psychopath and serial killer in training, instead of just a sadistic punk.

So I guess on that level, it was an awesome horror movie about how terrifying children can be... and that was even before the escaped convicts arrived.

To bring the "Home Alone" comparison all the way back around, I guess this also reminded me of "The Good Son" also with Macauley Culkin, where he portrays a psychopathic youth.

Aquaslash (2019)

Plot elements, without the plot

[3/10 · 7 March 2021]

Slasher movies have a lot of tropes, but usually there's some kind of story involved as well. The story in this movie is extremely thin.

I kept wondering what alternate universe this takes place in, where high school students (!!) are having sex in the park, doing drugs openly, bikini car wash (in 2018? More like a wet t-shirt contest anyway), and so on.

And the park manager and staff are clearly not meant to be running a lemonade stand, much less something like this. It stretches credulity beyond the breaking point.

You kind of know you're in trouble when they add a Wilhelm scream so early on into the movie... you just know they're going for the cliches, and they don't disappoint in that regard.

Ultimately it all boils down to one big set piece (no spoiler here, it's in the movie poster and trailer) of criss-crossed blades in the water slide. But, I mean, that's really it. There are the "killer POV" shots of some mysterious person doing other things, and preparing the slide, but it's kind of boring.

By the time anything really starts happening, even the average movie watcher has figured out the "whodunit" part. Oh, and the weird end-credit scene... what the heck was that? I wondered why, earlier in the movie, there was a totally off-kilter scene with a strange kid and his injured foot. I figured it was just sloppy writing and editing (which is a good guess, because the movie is full of that), but... that's the payoff? A stupid end-credit scene? It didn't even make sense.

Don't bother watching unless you're bored. I gave it 3 stars because I did watch it while I was bored, and the best thing I could say about it is, I did end up watching 'til the end just to see if I was right about who the mystery killer is. If you want to avoid wasting your time, I'm sure some review here has a spoiler you could read.

Passport to the World: Route 66 (2019)

Interesting highlights, but odd pronunciation and a little dull in spots

[6/10 · 7 March 2021]

It's cool to see some of these sights along Route 66, including a few things I haven't seen before. It may be a little too focused on the food in the early parts, but probably because Illinois just doesn't have as many other interesting sights along the way.

One thing that kept catching our ear was the narrator's odd pronunciation of certain words. And you'll also hear the use of "kilometer" instead of "mile". Seeing the narrator's name, it makes a little more sense that maybe he's French, or perhaps Quebecois. Words like "wigwam" or even the well known brand "Conoco", or the architect Eero Saarinen (which, admittedly, has a strange pronunciation anyway, but it's not "ai-row", it's "eh-row")

Anyway, it's a pleasant enough documentary. I wish they'd picked a more interesting car than a station wagon to do the journey. Or took some night-time shots of the interesting things. Like the amazing neon-lit soda bottle, that they showed unlit in daytime. Boring.

A Christmas Tree Grows in Colorado (2020 TV Movie)

Unlawful taking

[1/10 · 28 November 2020]

I was so enraged by the premise that a town could just take someone's tree by eminent domain, that the movie just falls apart under the weight of that burden.

The poor guy and his daughter were so put upon by the town, the mayor, and the mayor's daughter, that any love story arising out of that is more fictional than the town's name (what... was "Detroit, Colorado" taken so they went with Brooklyn?)

Any town that would do something like this to one of its hard-working firefighters deserves only bad things. Had that news gotten out, I think they'd see a vast migration out of the city, rather than businesses moving in. Or at the very least, the mayor and the city council deserves to be fired at their next elections.

All of that would have earned 2 stars from me, but then Hallmark also snuck in the wokity woke gay moments, so there goes your pity star, you're now a 1-star film.

Archive (2020)

Very emotional and impactful - hauntingly beautiful

[8/10 · 19 October 2020]

The tone of this movie, from the outset, had (for me) an almost spooky, surreal feel. The characters of the J1 and J2 prototypes, once it's explained how they came to be and what they are, really hits you.

Especially when the J3 prototype is developed and you see the interactions between the models... there was just something about that dynamic that made you believe in this world, that such things were possible. I really felt for J1 and J2 and what they must be "feeling" as their little bubble worlds in that lab were changing.

There were some super sad and heartbreaking stops along the way to that ending... That ending!

Initially I wasn't really sure about this movie and just watched it on a whim, but I'm glad I did. It turned out to be way better than I anticipated. Even partway through the movie, I just wasn't sure about it all, and I had a really hard time empathizing with the protagonist. He just came across as cocky, arrogant, and maybe playing a little too fast and loose with his work and didn't care who/what he hurt.

But then towards the end, the movie and writing really redeemed themselves.

Honestly, it's one of those rare movies that will follow me for the next few days because it really makes you think. Hauntingly beautiful.

Merry Ex Mas (2014)

Okay, it's not great, but it's watchable

[6/10 · 19 October 2020]

So, going in I had no idea about this movie, but we gave it a shot anyway.

The acting is, well... goofy. But I think it's _deliberately_ goofy and campy, to an extent. This movie is really not meant to be taken too seriously.

Once we realized that, we actually enjoyed some of the bizarre moments they threw in there. The lawyer's strange family, the clerk at the shop ordering pizza, etc. I mean, there are so many totally random, bizarre little nuggets of humor that we were laughing in spite of everything else.

Even the terrible Irish accents (that I couldn't quite place at first... I thought it was just a really thick Canadian accent, but then it kept changing the more the movie went on).

So, just sit back and chill and be ready for one heck of a strange ride.

Tales of the Unexpected: Sauce for the Goose (1984) Season 7, Episode 9

Intended to be comical

[7/10 · 15 September 2020]

This episode is a little campy and goofy, but it's obviously done on purpose. Bearing that in mind, I found it somewhat enjoyable. Even the little "travel montage" scene, silly as it was, made me laugh. It was meant to be cheesy.

Some other reviews rag on this episode as an example of how the show declined in quality in the later years, but it's worth pointing out that this episode was actually filmed much earlier than the "1984" date shown. I'd say it was filmed no later than 1981 based on the fact that the lead actress died that year.

It's not hard to find examples of garbage episodes earlier in the show's run... every season had its ups and downs. For me, this "season 7" (in quotes) episode was one of the better ones just because it was so goofy.

Tread (2019)

"Falling Down" in real life

[8/10 · 3 August 2020]

Just like the Michael Douglas movie "Falling Down", this tragic documentary presents the viewer with an average guy who gets kicked repeatedly and eventually has enough.

I don't think they did a very good job in this documentary exploring the aspect of what, if any, actual corruption was involved in the town's actions against Marv, which is an unfortunate omission. They just interviewed a few of them and we should take it on faith that these people are on the up and up, apparently. Anyone with a cynical eye towards our dear leaders know better than that.

One could only wonder what the narrative would be like in 2020 with rampant protests across the US. Would Marv be viewed as a "peaceful" protester, "peacefully" destroying a city while "peacefully" shooting at cops and "peacefully" trying to murder people he disagrees with? Is he an anti-hero in today's anti-cop/anti-government context?

Had the documentary been produced in the midst of today's (summer of 2020) news cycle, maybe they would have spun it different? Makes you think.

The Twilight Zone: An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge (1964) Season 5, Episode 22

So, a French guy living in the antebellum US south...

[3/10 · 18 July 2020]

Oooh, it was at Cannes! As if that's some badge of honor. That's like saying "This film was the least bad!"

It was just too weird... the stereotypically French looking fella was woefully out of place. What... that was the best they could do? Any of the soldiers looked more American.

And then the super cheesy song - it was totally laughable. Maybe in the 1960's it was what passed for "avant garde" but time has not been kind to this.

It's just peculiar that people still seem to love and revere this episode. I mean, it's an okay story, but it's far to "affected" and I couldn't take it seriously.

Had they used a different actor, more suitable for the part, and ditched that tragically comic song, it would have been so much better.

Oh, but I suppose it does get some extra stars for reminding me of the scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where he keeps running towards the camera and never seems to get there. Maybe they got their inspiration from this scene?

Another Version of You (2018)

Like a bad episode of "Sliders"

[5/10 · 12 July 2020]

Yeah, bad episode of "Sliders", I said it. And that show had some real stinkers.

My main gripe is that the guy simply has no redeeming qualities. All I could think is that, yeah, Suzette was right to be with someone else, because this dude is just bland. He makes terrible choices, and it was predictable from the beginning that he was going to make more terrible choices as the movie one.

I liked the concept, but the dialogue was pretty sad, the main character mopey, and I thought the editing, especially during some initial "montage" scenes, was just clumsy (when you see him initially traveling to different universes and meeting different Suzettes, etc). No cohesion there.

I wish it had been done better. Still, at least it was lit well, the camera work was fine, and the other female actors did a good job.

The Platform (2019)

Terrible attempt at allegory (but interesting story)

[5/10 · 16 May 2020]

I get what the writer was going for, and it's so obvious it doesn't need further explanation. My gripe is that it's a terrible metaphor. All they did was put up a straw man and knock it down. It made for an interesting movie, thus I gave it 5 out of 10 stars, but you really shouldn't extrapolate this as an allegory of capitalism, because it falls apart so fast.

Any analogy or metaphor is going to fall apart if you pick at it too much, but this one falls apart at a slight breeze. I read the other reviews talking about what a brilliant examination this is of the capitalist system, but c'mon... really? Do they really not see the obvious flaws in such a comparison? In the real world, people in the "lower classes" really can effect societal change. That's the whole argument behind unions after all. The whole "the workers control the means of production" thing. So to say this movie represents the real world in any way is just flat out false based on that aspect alone. And there are other areas where it just doesn't work at all, but you get the point.

In fact, this movie says more about the screenwriter than capitalism. They seem to argue that everything is created by those 1% at the top and trickles down in an unfair way, but it doesn't take a great leap in logic to realize that without the 99%, society would crumble. Who grows the food? Who transports it to the stores? Who cooks it? The 1% is just as dependent on the modern economy as anyone else (maybe more so since I imagine many of them wouldn't have a clue how to do any of that themselves).

Food for thought (pun intended).