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Galactus12
Reviews
Cell Count (2012)
sh*t count
This is now the second film I've seen from this director, and believe me, if this were the days before digital cameras, this man would never be allowed near a real film set. I review films for a living, both for a major publication and for a festival (that this film was rejected from) and this movie falls short in nearly every way. I won't waste my time or yours writing a thorough review, but STAY AWAY! unless Troma movies are your guilty pleasure, this kind of amateur work will not entertain you. The poorly written dialogue, to the slow pacing make this a laughable addition to the horror genre. The butt-holed man was probably one of the dumbest creatures to every grace a movie screen. Awful, awful filmmaking.
Wake Before I Die (2011)
How was this movie ever made?
As an outsider of Portland's film community, I feel my voice carries some merit in reviewing this film. I should also mention I review films for a living
but to be honest, to review this film would be a big waste of time. I will say the film itself is a big pile of crap. The music was about the worst of it, blaring at deafening volumes to cover moments of absent story. As an avid film watcher (part of my job), I watch a lot of movies: low budget, to even B movies. But faith-based movies go into their own category and cannot be measured by the standard of regular films -- they are in fact, baby-food for the film illiterate. Faith based movies are among some of the worst movies I've ever seen (stand back Tommy Wiseau), often catering to a lesser educated, superstitious audience who find entertainment in the most juvenile of movie plots. Again, I won't bore you with the irritating details but after I saw these other reviews, I felt it was my integrity to say the truth; these other reviewers are clearly family members or friends of the cast, because no normal film-goer would ever give this movie 10 stars
I mean Shawshank doesn't even have that many 10 star reviews. C'mon people, this movie was a joke
a bad one.