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Reviews
The Last Descent (2016)
Pretty poor
I thought this might be interesting after I saw an excellent documentary about it on YouTube. Sadly it wasn't. The rescue played second fiddle to a meandering sentimental story with numerous flashbacks. About 70% of the film was irrelevant to the actual plot. In addition you expect a bit of artistic licence in these types of films, but here they took this to an extreme, completely changing details to fit their narrative. The ending was equally poor.
You might have expected a sense of claustrophobia, but this wasn't portrayed either.
In conclusion this film isn't a fair reflection of anything. I'd suggest you watch the documentary on YouTube instead as this is better and more respectful to those involved.
Coma (2024)
The more you watch the worse it gets
The standard of acting and direction in this series was like a year 9 drama class improvisation. I wonder if there even was a script as it got so repetitive. Character wise the pantomine villan gangster dad was worst of all. Totally unconvincing and overacting. An absolute characture. The smug boss was abysmal too.
You'll lose all track of any meaningful storyline through pure irritation. It's like watching the same scene and dialogue over and over and over again. Beyond predictable.
Normal people don't behave like this. And normal people don't speak like this, perhaps in the playground, "If you don't give me a sweet I'll tell miss."
If you enjoy being thoroughly irritated and wasting your life then this might be for you. If that doesn't sound like something for you then avoid this like the plague. It was even worse than Love Rat and that saying something.
Ford v Ferrari (2019)
Just Awful
A thoroughly irritating film. I'm not sure what type of character Christian Bale was trying to portray, or what he studied to get into the role but he managed to hold a single expression throughout the entire movie. It was just so irritating. Maybe he did it for a bet?
The dialogue was equally poor in many places. Normal people don't talk to each other like that. It was all hammed up to level 11.
I'm sure there is a good story in there somewhere but this definitely doesn't do it justice. If you get to the end you'll just be thoroughly irritated by the characters (caricatures) and tedious dialogue.
Don't waste your time.
Full Swing (2023)
And I don't even like golf
I enjoyed Drive to Survive and Nascar Full Speed, so I thought I'd give this a go. I've never really been into or interested in golf, although my uncle used to manage golf courses before he retired.
I have to say I loved it. There was valuable insight into the structure and psychology of the game and we got to know some of the characters. I have to say in places it was genuinely funny too and there were some fantastic quotes such as, "Is he capable of being a top 30 player? Absolutely. Does he want to be in the top 30? Probably not."
Aligned to that it is presented in Dolby Vision and Dolby Atomos so if you have the right gear it looks and sounds fantastic.
Like any Netflix sports series if you are a true enthusiast, that may ruin it for you because you know too much and the flaws will be more obvious, but if that is not you or you can look over them I think you'll really enjoy this.
Nerve (2016)
Not perfect but I loved it
The premise of this film is very strong. If you watched a lot of YouTube around 2020, loads of this type of content was on there. Young people climbing cranes on construction sites, train surfing and generally taking huge risks and being a public nuisance for attention, notoriety and primarily MONEY. Behavior breeds behavior and this trend grew with more young people involving themselves.
What I'm saying, is this concept is absolutely real and we have never really been that far away from a game like Nerve that rewards this behavior with deadly consequences.
I thought the acting was fair, and there were certain scenes where they really excelled and the tension was intense.
I also liked the way it was shot. Lots of dynamic camera work. If you have even a half decent sound system with Dolby Digital this film rewards. Some of the effects were outstanding and the sound mixers really did a good job. There is one train effect for example that'll have you ducking on the couch.
The ending was a bit Hollywood but by then I'd got more then enough out of the film that I didn't care that much. I think if you have an interest in this type of internet culture you'll enjoy this film and you'll look over some of the flaws.
Love Rat (2024)
Don't watch beyond the first episode
So the first episode was good. The premise was set and the acting was good. We have a recently divorced woman coerced into giving up her life savings. This is a pretty topical crime so things were looking good. The first episode had a lot of tension for the viewer too. I'm aware of a woman who played the players to get her money back and I was hoping for something like that here. Something clever. Well it seems like I was expecting too much.
I'd recommend you watch the first episode then stop right there because what follows is just ridiculous. Suddenly guns are banded about left right and centre, the acting standard takes a nose dive and by the end, everyone is casually committing murders then boarding their flights home.
The conclusion is even worse. Ex-husband with a gambling habit suddenly comes good and is making bank, but he suddenly breaks character to become incredibly violent, (must have got a taste for violence after his first casual murder). And then throw in another casual murder to top it off and they all lived happily every after, well those who survived. Pathetic.
Alice & Jack (2023)
Not worth your time
This started out fairly interesting but quickly went down hill then as with many series became a life thief. To start with it was not romantic at all, just a constant, "will they, won't they," recurring theme. It was like a crap version of the office romance we see every day if we work in an office. Add into to that some random bizarre twists, Cuba is a big place you know, what are the chances? Then let's all randomly get dirty rich. Then the final episode that just rehashes the last 5 that you've already seen and didn't find that interesting the first time. It all adds up to a recipe for a pants story.
What concerns me more is that young people watching this may think that this is how adult relationships work and that this is a normal relationship dynamic. It's not. There were some useful themes that could have been explored but the writers defaulted to what was easy. To sign off here's an example, Jack goes on a date and declares to his date that he's is in love with another woman and has been for 15 years. Of course he does. I mean that's normal dating behavior right? Ridiculous.
Holy Smoke (1999)
Like a really bad, "Carry On" Film
I'm not sure what the angle was here. From the blurb it seemed to be a serious film about the dangers of being drawn into a cult and the challenges of deprograming. The reality was a mishmash of ham acting, caricatures rather than characters and for want of a better term BS. I got about 20 minutes into the farce before I couldn't look at it any more. Another life thieving film. How Kate Winslet got drawn into this after Titanic is beggars belief. Perhaps she needed a new kitchen or bought a 2nd home. This film is not funny, clever or slick. It's insulting to Australians, Indians and anyone with intelligence. Avoid.
Muscle (2019)
Abysmal. A life thieving film.
I was browsing Amazon Prime video and this came up. The trailer looked interesting so I thought I'd give it a watch. The opening premise was pretty good. A middle aged man struggling with career and relationships looking for change. Polly Maberly did a sterling job as the disenchanted partner. She was only around for the first 15 minutes and after that it all went down hill. What proceeded was a very bizarre and ridiculous turn of events.
I held out until the end because I thought it may come to some sort of conclusion. It didn't. I felt cheated that I sat through 90 minutes of crap and was just left hanging with a bizarre instrumental fade out. Pathetic writing.
What's most frustrating is that the concept had great potential but the execution was abysmal.
What I'd suggest you do is watch the first 15 minutes of this. Then stop the video. Take a moment to reflect then search Amazon Prime Video for I. D. and watch that instead. It is a similar concept but delivers in spades.
As for Amazon Prime video, I only have it as a side effect of being subscribed to Amazon Prime. My experience so far is that it's the cesspit of all the streaming services.
Absolutely Anything (2015)
Abysmal. Insulting to your intelligence.
I tried to give this a shot as I'd seem some clips on YouTube and the premise looked ok, after about half an hour of watching I gave up. The all star cast must have all really needed a new kitchen at the same time because this was just dire. The acting was akin to equally intelligence insulting 90 children's shows such as, "Rent a Ghost." As it played on things became more and more ridiculous to the point I couldn't look at it any more as it was stealing my life.
I believe it's billed as a family film, but I wouldn't recommend showing it to your kids as they'll question your intellect. They'll ask, "Are you finding this funny because you'd need to be pretty simple to find it funny?"
If you have absolutely nothing else to watch and it's raining outside then going out for a walk with no umbrella is better than this tosh.
Top Boy: You Don't Know Me (2019)
And I would have got away with it if it weren't for you pesky kids
What an atrocious anti-climax. I think the writers needed to come up with an ending so re-used an old script from Scooby-Doo. The Police, who seem to have all been on collective annual leave up till now suddenly show up everywhere all at once and send an armed response unit based on the most vague of tipoffs. "I think there's something in a green bag). The forensic team must have had the day off when they discovered the bag too.
In addition new information is dropped into the story line with absolutely no context what so ever and there hadn't been an unconvincing kidnapping or some random violence for a couple of episodes so they threw those in while the police must have still been on annual leave.
The suppliers have no protection or security what so ever. They must be new to the career, perhaps they on the crime graduate scheme.
There's also the double, triple, quadruple crossing that they think adds depth to the story. (Spoiler - even if you can keep track of it, it doesn't). This is yet another Netflix series that ran out of ideas before it ran out of budget. The visuals are nice with the city in the background but the story has run it's course by now.
Black Mirror: Mazey Day (2023)
U turn resulting in a car crash
This episode was going pretty well, we all knew there was a twist coming but what the writers served up was a total cop out. Black Mirror used to have some, albeit tenuous sometimes, grasp on reality. This was pure supernatural pap(arazzi). Similar to episode 6 (Demon 79), the writers built up an interesting premise, then abandoned it in order to appeal to the lowest common denominator. When you realise that's where the story is going, (and it's an abrupt change), I'd advise you switch off and save yourself the last 20 minutes of dross. Sadly this is more adult Scooby-doo. All we were missing was a mask reveal at the end.
Black Mirror: Demon 79 (2023)
From the sublime to the ridiculous
Working through series six, I thought episode 5, Mazey Day was pretty awful but nothing prepared me for this. This episode is so abysmal I had to stop watching as I felt it was both insulting my intelligence and stealing my life. The initial premise seemed ok and there were a few interesting emerging themes, however, 10 minutes in I think the script writers got lazy and decided to adapt a script from Scooby-doo. What I used to like about Black Mirror was the technology concepts and issues that were only a few steps away from reality. There was non of that here, nothing clever or insightful, just dross. This could be described as a horror B movie (or should that be C, D or E movie). Don't waste your life on this pap.
Gran Turismo (2023)
Pathetic
What an absolutely abysmal film. As the story proceeds it just gets more and more ridiculous yet also totally predictable. I walked out during the final race scene because I felt it was stealing my life. There is a cast of actors clearly out of their depth, (well they'd be out of their depth on East Enders to be fair), every race movie cliché hammed up to level 11 and almost no grasp of reality.
If you know nothing about cars, motorsport or the motorsport industry, are under 12 think the acting in Disney teen movies is of a high standard there is a small chance you might enjoy this movie. If none of those things apply to you then give it a miss. Hell Barbie was closer to reality than this pap. Don't waste your time.
M3GAN (2022)
Good exploration of AI themes
The acting was a bit suspect in places and the ending was typical Hollywood over exuberance but overall this was a good film. I particularly enjoyed the 1st half which subtly explored some of the themes of machine learning and AI. As M3gan became more and more self aware she started working to her own agenda. There were also interesting themes about profitability vs delivering something that is fully tested and safe. The concept of an AI babysitter is not beyond the realms of possibility in the future and I think the film painted an interesting picture of that. Other reviews have compared this to iRobot, but I think it's head an shoulders above that.
Ten Pound Poms (2023)
Pathetic
I was excited about this series and the opportunity to learn something new about the experience these individuals went through starting a new life on the other side of the world but it fell short on every count. The scenario they find themselves in accounts for about 5% of the plot. The rest is retro East Enders with Northern and Australian accents. Every single East Enders cliché plot line happened in the space of six episodes. The characters could have been anywhere. Why not send them to the moon next time so they can play out the same sad done to death storylines there? And it's a sad outcome. There was plenty of room for character development and exploring the themes of dealing with PTSD, re-locating, culture shocks and living in an international community, but no it fell back to the lowest common denominator. I think they may have used a random script generator. What should we do now? Oh I know make someone pregnant with no context what so ever.
Looking through the other reviews, individuals who actually were £10 Poms noted that it was nothing like this so that's something at least. If you are old enough to remember Plotlands from the 90s I thought it would be something like that but sadly not.
If you have exhausted all your other options and like watching in 4K just for the experience I'd give this a look but don't get your hopes up.