kranbot Reviews

The Abyss (1989)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

[4/10 · 13 December 2007]

Just watched this film for the first time in years. Wow, is it a yawner. The characters lack dimension entirely--we're supposed to buy into a deep love between the two main characters just because they swoon at each other a lot? Secondly, it's so cliché. What saves the world? The hero calling a woman his wife. Note the giant zoom in on the word "wife" as it's projected onto the wall of water. Way to reinforce convention--on one hand it's nice to see a film reinforce relationships, but on another, it's just another boring nondescript pairing. I get that the aliens were impressed that he'd give himself a "one way ticket" into the abyss to deactivate the bomb, but really, isn't that a bit pat? And how many other thousand times have we seen this story done better and with more depth of feeling? This movie left me as cold as the water it's submerged in.

Women in Film (2001)

Pretentious pile of tripe

[1/10 · 30 August 2002]

This film may just kill you with ennui. Nothing like a bunch of self-absorbed pretentious characters talking about the plot whilst swimming in pools, sitting on the toilet or inexplicably dancing to induce annoyance at best and extreme boredom at worst. We don't get to see a shred of action--just a stream of narrative that is clearly taken from the written word. This movie is completely inert. People just don't talk like this. Speaking of pretense, this film often undermines itself on that count--the actors don't always pronounce their 50 cent words properly. At one point, Portia de Rossi says "irridate" when she means to say, "irradiate." I'm always shocked when actors don't take the time to use a dictionary. And what's up with the gratuitous breast shots? If someone is ever having insomnia, this film will surely help them get to sleep.

Les filles ne savent pas nager (2000)

My most bizarre film experience

[11 August 2002]

My sister and I saw this film at the Music Box Theatre in Chicago. The film seemed to drag on forever without much forward motion. When it finally ended, the entire audience burst out laughing--a very odd response to a tragic narrative. I'm not really sure why everyone laughed--nervous tension, perhaps, since the film ends on a down-note. But, it was more than that. It seems that the pacing and the setting were so culturally removed from what most Americans are used to that the film seems almost absurd. Absurd is really not the right word--perhaps the film is just very difficult to identify with due to the overlong and tedious pacing and the utter lack of humorous moments to offset the downward spiral into sadness. I hate to mention cultural difference as being a reason to judge a film, but clearly some universal message was missing. Kieslowski's _Ten Commandments_ are examples of films that depict a very different culture from what some people in other countries might experience, but Kieslowski manages to instill a sense of humanity and timelessness to his work that _Girls Can't Swim_ cannot seem to muster.

And from my perspective, the two girls simply weren't very compelling. One teenage girl explores sex, the other is depressed over her father's death and does things like see how long she can hold her breath under water. Ho hum. Both could have used a bit more character development.

This isn't a bad film--just a very slow, humorless one.