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Reviews
Fear the Walking Dead: This Land Is Your Land (2017)
So stupid
I can't make any sense of using the supply bunker as the last stand against the horde.
One way in or out, and questionable ventilation? What was the plan here?
We know that zombies ignore people covered in blood.. why not use that as the frontline defense? It would be easy to form a perimeter around some high ground and take out waves of the horde, but if I may nitpick a little further, why the heck were there no trenches around the ranch? A thin barbed wire fence and no ditches or trenches?
I couldn't take it seriously when everyone started suffocating in the bunker. It was so stupid I laughed out loud.
The Walking Dead: A Certain Doom (2020)
Are you serious?
I can't take this anymore.
After the original stupid plan (costing one survivor in the crowd, plus however many more who stayed behind in the hospital) fails, they revert to what should have been the plan from the start, and even the plan at hilltop.
You know that the whispers are mingled into the horde of zombies and are terrible in combat, so why would your first plan not to be pick them off one by one in the crowd with a mask/blood of your own?
And why would you not have archers defending the stairs up to the children? How was that chokepoint not something that they decided to hold, but instead fell back to some random weakly barricaded doors?
It's like they are trying to kill people off in the stupidest/most pointless ways possible at this point.
The Walking Dead: The World Before (2019)
I need answers
Why did Aaron and Carol and the others run blindly into a cave which was an obvious trap?
Why didn't they listen to Daryl when he tried to slow them down instead of blindly running into a cave chasing Alpha?
And more importantly..
Why didn't any of the group yell for help or try to warn Daryl before he fell into the hole.. and why and more importantly HOW was the massive horde of zombies silent until the moment Daryl hit the ground after falling into the hole everyone else had already fallen into?
Siddiq and Dante was a stupid plotline, but this show is really testing my suspension of disbelief in the writers' stupidity.
The Walking Dead: Open Your Eyes (2019)
The Dante thing was so dumb
You established that Alexandria doesn't accept any newcomers with Luke and the womenfolk in season 9, and then expect us to believe that they would blindly accept Dante and that group of randos AFTER the fence post of heads?
ARE YOU ON CRACK?
That was one of the stupidest, most obvious, so stupid I was sure it WASN'T going to go that way because it was so stupid..
Death by random zombie in an open field that sneaks up on someone is one thing, but Siddiq has one of the stupidest deaths in this entire series. I didn't even like him that much as a character after he was the reason Carl died, but dang I think I can empathize a little more with him after this travesty.
Anyone But You (2023)
10/10 for one reason only
Sydney Sweeney's cleavage.
Some of the gags are a bit over the top, but it wasn't that bad of a movie. The two main characters could have had a few more braincells, but the Australian dude and her ex were entertaining enough to make up for the lack of chemistry. Bluey is such a great show, I love Australians.
All joking aside probably a 6/10, it looked sharp in 4K but the plot was pretty simple and straight forward.
Gata was a nice touch to the cast.
Did anyone else realize that there was a ten year difference in the main couple? Oof. Kinda cringe.
Beep boop I ran out of jokes, at least this movie was better than Madam Webb lmao.
Anatomie d'une chute (2023)
Fine, if not long winded
As I will often tell you, a 2.5 hour run time should be reserved for an epic. Something akin to the Lord of the Rings or Dune. There was nothing specifically wrong with this film, though it is a little slow to pick up and drags a little towards the end. There were definitely places that could have been trimmed.
Overall, I felt that the film lacked personality. The only character with depth was the lawyer, and the legal case against the woman was flimsy to say the least, so I never felt any tension that she would be going down for the crime.
It's not a film I would ever watch a second time, it did not leave me wanting more, but as I said before, it was just fine. Not an epic, not a thriller, just a film. It was interesting getting a look into the French legal system, and I did find myself researching the similarities and differences between the assumption of guilt in Trance and the US.
Saltburn (2023)
Fine, yet frustrating
Why?
I had heard about the cringe scenes, which is why we watched this film. They were definitely cringe inducing.. but they didn't add anything to the plot.
The cinematography was captivating, and early on I couldn't decide where the story was going. Had I realized I was watching a psychological thriller I probably would have, but I was mistaken in thinking I was watching some indie comedy/coming of age story. That probably would have made a good movie, but this one, though it did have moments where I could see a good film underneath the layers of trying too hard, was just.. one I could have lived without.
I'm trying to think of another movie where the ending was so dissatisfying so as to ruin the whole thing, something akin to Game of Thrones, but it's late and I can't.
Lightyear (2022)
False advertising
As a Toy Story and Chris Evans fan, I was highly disappointed by this "film."
This movie was billed as "the movie that made Andy (and every other boy in 1995) fall in love with Buzz Light-year."
This is false. This movie is so soaking in modernism that it was hard to take seriously. There were many opportunities for mods that were completely missed.
The key takeaway that there was no effort made was that there was a random weapon that Buzz did not have in Toy Story, while his laser was practically written off as a joke or something. There is no way any children would idolize Buzz Light-year after watching this half-***ed farce.
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023)
Can't say I'm surprised
What do you get when you cross a backstory nobody asked for with a near ten years hiatus?
Trash.
The lone bright spot in this movie is Jason Schwartzman's Lucky Flickerman, but even that character is a little too on the nose. Throughout the movie, Lucky included, there are nods as if to say "Hey you, you remember The Hunger Games, right? Remember how much you loved the Hunger Games?"
At the same time, there is this bizarre knockoff Fallout aesthetic that permeates everything. It's a post apocalyptic dystopia following a terrible civil war, but also everything is old timey like the 1940s?
On top of the terrible execution of world-building, and the weird 2020s Disney angle of "giving a heartless villain a sympathetic backstory," it feels like the cast of this movie was pulled out of a McDonald's kitchen. Not a single character other than Lucky is the least bit memorable, and Lucy Gray's accent borders on a hate crime.
If you like the Hunger Games, just rewatch Catching Fire.
The Diplomat (2023)
Mind bogglingly good
In a world where most streaming series are trash, I had little to know expectations for this, other than that I liked the cast elsewhere and hoped they would perform here. I just finished binging the first season and I couldn't get enough of it, I'm definitely waiting for season two. There were only a few moments where I was wondering why I needed to see something, but other than those very few and far between parts, everything in every episode matters, and there is rarely a dull moment. The dialogue is fun, the plot is intriguing, and everything that everyone does has purpose. 10/10 I can't wait for more.