dandenholt Reviews

Dragon Wars: D-War (2007)

Highly entertaining

[8/10 · 25 November 2007]

I'm very confused at the high level of hatred for this movie. People are acting like it came to their house and beat up their mother.

No, D-War hearkens back to the days of yore, when special effects laden monster movies, filled to the brim with crazy ideas and "exotic" mysteries of foreign cultures would fill the shelves at your local video store.

Sure, the plot is a jumbled, convoluted mess, filled with tired clichés about "chosen ones" and "you can't escape your destiny"s. Hell, it even has that staple of 50's creature features, where a native person is dragged away while maniacally telling anyone who'll listen that "the beast has wakened" and to "heed my warning or we're all doomed!".

It's a silly movie, with a silly plot, that is actually far more simple that it appears: There's a girl and the bad guys want her and our destined hero has to protect her. That's it.

But D-War knows what a genre audience want: Lots and lots of action scenes and monsters. And you'll be hard pressed to mention a movie that packs as many monsters, explosions and action into an hour and a half movie, as D-War does.

There are no Oscars on the horizon for D-War. But it's mindless entertainment, so grab a bucket of popcorn, a gallon of soda and be prepared to get blow away by the very impressive special effects and breathtaking action sequences that take up the latter half of the movie. Say what you will about director Hyung-rae Shim, but he is an impressive visual artist.

If you enjoy the kind of cheesy monster movies where giant monsters rampage through cities and battle the military with massive destruction as a result, this is your movie. You know who you are.

I certainly enjoyed it far more that Michael Bay's awful Transformers or Roland Emmerich's atrocious Godzilla. And so should you.

Koara kachô (2005)

A truly unique cinematic experience

[25 March 2007]

Writer/Director Kawasaki Minoru shot to cult fame with the infamous "Calamari Wrestler" about a wrestling squid, and he's back in anthropomorphic territory with "Executive Koala".

Keiichi Tamura is a hardworking executive in a pickle company, who is making a big merger at work and struggling with memory loss and the mysterious disappearance of his wife three years prior. He's also a koala, which doesn't seem to bother people too much, but then the president of the company is a large white rabbit. Tamura enters the sights of the police when his current girlfriend is found stabbed to death and his murky past seem to imply that he is not the well-mannered Koala he appear to be.

On the surface "Executive Koala" takes the shape of a thriller, but delve into weird psychological territory and spices it all up with quite a few surprising twists and turns. Indeed, you never quite know what to expect next as one bizarre scene follows the next, ranging from romance to creepy horror and a musical trial. It doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense and becomes weirder and weirder, but then you were never really gonna get a normal movie when the main character is a suit wearing Koala.

A cross between magical realism and surrealist expressionism, "Executive Koala" might be weird for the sake of weird, but unlike David Lynch and his sort, who take that thing very serious under the guise of art, "Executive Koala" is inherently silly and never tries to hide or excuse that.

"Calamari Wrestler" had a more straight forward and accessible plot and made sense within it's narrative universe. "Executive Koala" doesn't, but then it isn't supposed to. It just comes at you with a wealth of ideas and odd quirky silliness, but you can't help but feel that it's a joke on people who would take this sort of surrealism too serious and engage in deep analysis.

"Executive Koala" strength is it's truly quirky reality and one-of-a-kind expression, all the while sending you in one direction wondering where it's going until you realize, "Hey, it's a giant talking koala" and you cannot help but laugh at even the darkest subject matter.

You will probably come away wondering what it was all about, but still having been thoroughly entertained and laughed heartily at the goofy silliness of the whole thing. But that's a good and very charming thing.

Highly recommended.

Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002 Video)

It was all just a dream...

[1/10 · 16 January 2006]

Have you ever seen a movie where something happens and then they cut and "it was all just a dream"? It's a plot device writers use when they've written themselves into a corner and need an easy way out. Now, imagine a movie where this device is used after just about every scene. Sometimes repeatedly. As in "it was all just a dream. Within a dream. Within another dream.". Well, thankfully you never have to imagine such a movie, as it already exists in the form of Hellraiser: Hellseeker. Watching this movie is excruciatingly frustrating as the main character wakes from a dream to find himself in the hospital, only to wake from a dream and find himself at the office, then wake from a dream to find himself at home, just to wake from a dream to find himself at the police station, where he goes over the exact same story he has already told them before. Then repeat. Moving at a narrative speed of moss, we just jump from one of four locations to another, over and over and over and over, with seemingly little in the way of plot or point. Further more, you'd think the star of the movie also wrote it, as every woman his character comes across, throws themselves at him, despite him being a very ordinary looking, dull, office worker. Guess that anonymity really turns the women on, eh? Ashley Laurence is listed second in the credits, but she is hardly in the movie, making very little connection to the originals. But, hey, Pinhead is hardly in this one either, with probably even less screen time than part 5, and like Inferno, it all turns out to be more psycho babble, Twilight Zone, wannabe garbage. Just far more annoying, worse written and without any good ideas at all. An utter atrocity that even the appearance of Doug Bradley can't save.

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991)

Gory Greatness

[10/10 · 24 June 2005]

I waited 7 years to see Jan Kounen's "Blueberry" movie. I waited 15 years to see "Aliens vs. Predator" (from the first time I heard they were making one). And I waited 13 years to see "Story Of Ricky". "Ricky" was worth the wait.

It's easy to dismiss "Ricky" as nothing but mindless violence. Make no mistake, "Ricky" is a movie the is not embarrassed by it's excesses. Indeed, it is a movie that wallows in it's over the top extremity. But it is this unpretentious way of presenting it's story that raises it above the run of the mill martial arts exploitation flick.

"Ricky" is categorized as a Martial Arts movie, but, really, it isn't. Protagonist Ricky has the amazing power to literally destroy people when he hits them, rendering all battles very short, but very gory. But this is also the movies saving grace. This is what sets the movie apart from just another martial arts flick. "Ricky" presents you with visuals that must be seen to be believed and are quite unique. Even if they could be duplicated, people would probably be hesitant to do so due to the extremely graphic nature.

There are plenty of things to nitpick about. Ricky is repeatedly shackled and bound, though he has no problem escaping his constraints. So why do they keep bothering? Why is he even staying in the prison? It doesn't matter. That's not what this movie is about. Oh, sure you could easily do an analysis where Ricky blames himself for what happens to his girlfriend and he is in the prison to punish himself and fight the evil and injustice that saturates every inch of the prison. And it will work. But "Ricky" never tries to force that interpretation on you. If you want to see it as a pure gore fest, it is that as well.

The acting is over the top, as this movie demands. A movie that is so excessive in every aspect couldn't really make do with toned down subtle performances. It suits the outlandish characters to a tee. The scenery, while no doubt very cheap, work perfectly for the bleak and cold world of Ricky, where the characters are as cold, unfeeling and unforgiving as the concrete that surrounds them. And director Ngai Kai Lam actually manages to give this violence extravaganza a heart and a purpose when the truth about Ricky's past is revealed.

"Ricky" is a movie that is a phenomenal fun thrill ride moving at a hectic and frenetic speed, but with substance upon further look. But it's not pretentious or exploitive in it's presentation. Yes, it is extremely gory. In fact it has been called one of the two goriest movies ever made (Peter Jackson's "Braindead" being the other one), but unlike something like Takashi Miike's "Ichi The Killer" it's not depraved and sickening. It simply is. It doesn't excuse it's violence. It simply is. It's a mad, crazy mesh of over the top ideas, filled to the brim with energy and "Holy s***" moments. But the violence is never disgusting or sicking. It's too cartoony for that and the characters are not deep enough that you care for them and this feel their pain. They are simply meat for Ricky to destroy in creative ways. And the creativity and visual playfulness is exactly what this movie excels in.

Long story short: If you are in the mood for over the top, crazy, far out entertainment with some unbelievable visuals and more gore than Australian soccer match, this is the ultimate movie for you.

Highest recommendation.

Wild Zero (1999)

Not a movie, a state of mind

[10/10 · 19 June 2005]

Once every now and then, comes a movie that transcends mere celluloid and becomes something more. Something so saturated with style, attitude and it's own complete universe, that it becomes a way of thinking, a way of perceiving life. WILD ZERO is such a movie.

Is it perfect? No, perhaps not. But that doesn't matter. It does things it's own way, making it's own rules and flippantly laughing at conventions and "the right way to do things".

It's a thrill ride of violence, craziness, drinking, driving and, most importantly, Rock 'n' Roll. And it grabs you by the eyeballs and makes you laugh, makes you scream and blows your mind with it's frenetic pace and insane, over the top ideas. When the grand finale rolls around you will think it's the most natural thing in the world to happen.

The acting is over the top and cheesy for just about everyone, but that's the only way to make something like this work. Hell, when is the last time you saw a Japanese movie with cool quotable dialog?

Everything in this movie comes nicely together to make an experience that is more than the sum of it's parts. A wild and crazy, rock 'n' roll thrill ride with zombies, aliens, shoot outs, love and the greatest rock 'n' roll band in the world: Guitar Wolf.

Highest of recommendations.

Blade II (2002)

Breathtaking over the top action.

[9/10 · 27 May 2002]

yeah, the plot is silly but it works. The very talented Del Toro one ups us with the sequel to BLADE. Stephen Norrington made a great flick with the original, with a visual playfulness that made it an absolute joy to seen. Del Toro ups the ante and delivers a movie that grabs you by the eyeballs and doesn´t let go until the credits start to roll. It is impossible to take it all in in the first sitting and BLADE II looks so great and is told so smoothly that you´ll want to see it again and again. And again. There isn´t much to challenge your cerebral cortex but it's good, old and very beautiful entertainment. An absolute must.

Ringu (1998)

The scariest movie of all time.

[9/10 · 20 February 2002]

Forget about THE EXORCIST, BLAIR WITCH PROJECT and other supposedly scariest movies of all time. This is the real deal. The plot is simple, borderlining on cheesy, but it works unbelievably well. No cheap chocks and buh's here, just pure terror. The story is told with an energy and a underlying sense of true fear that creeps out of the screen and under your skin. And all this without a single drop of blood. There is no other way to say this: The RING is the scariest movie of all time, bar none.