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Sonic Unleashed (2008)
Underrated then overrated
I don't get why people are calling this game a masterpiece after absolutely hating it. It's not good.
Sonic controls like ass, I can barely keep him on the stage on the final boss. He's slippery as hell and I got a lot of game overs thanks to that, especially on the final boss. The stomp didn't help at all with keeping me on the stage because you don't go directly down, you keep moving forward when it's supposed to stop all your momentum and send you downward. The werehog controls a little better but not by that much. The werehog would also not respond to my controller when I'd press buttons to grab ledges so that led to a lot of unfair deaths. Leveling up both of them takes forever and it isn't fun, it's just mindlessly mash buttons to defeat enemies. I didn't even know there were combos or that the X and Y button were different attacks. The game just told me that they were both "attack" and not that X is slap and Y is punch, punching does more damage and I spent so much time slapping enemies until I randomly decided to try Y after a while.
The game runs fine, there are a lot of frame drops but when it isn't, it's just fine.
Eggmanland is a crime against humanity. Sonic's controls make the stage way too hard as well as the depth perception and some quick time events. I couldn't stop Sonic from falling off a pipe in one of the werehog sections because of the control and the depth perception, I literally can't tell if he's directly above the pipe or slightly to the left of it and you don't even get full control of the camera, you can only move it left and right. The stage takes about 30 minutes to complete or even longer.
After beating Eggmanland, you get to fight the Egg Dragoon then fight Dark Gaia. Dark Gaia made me want to rip my hair out. First you start with the Gaia rock thing slowly making its way to Dark Gaia. For some reason they decided to make everything he does slow. So blocking the rocks Dark Gaia throws makes this slower because you can't move when blocking. Then they decided to give Dark Gaia a laser move that is unavoidable. I tried moving left and right without moving because you move slower when boosting but I still got hit and lost a lot of health. Then you need to do quick time events and then you get to play as Sonic. When you start to run from the Gaia rock monster thing, you have a limited amount of time to reach Dark Gaia and attack before being sent back to the first part. This is where you can barely keep Sonic on stage and it punishes you for taking too long, going slow is the only way you can actually stay on but even then there are obstacles that are almost impossible to dodge unless you know where they are. Then after being that you repeat this twice I think and then you get to the Super Sonic fight. I actually never made it to that and I don't plan on doing so any time soon, there are better games out there that are worth more than this.
Save yourself from this brain damage.
Nuisible(s) (2010)
A good concept in a not so good film
Nuisible(s) is a short film about a tiny civilization living inside a man's very messy room, he orders a vacuum and the tiny people's lives are in peril as he starts vacuuming his room.
I actually really like the concept of this. The idea of a tiny civilization living in someone's room is pretty creative but this film doesn't really explore it. It just starts and ends abruptly (I'll get to that later). Nothing is explained either, nothing about why there are tiny people in a man's room, how the tiny people got in, how long they've been there or how the man didn't notice that there's tiny people and vehicles in his room. I get this is a short film, but you can still explore ideas and world build in a few minutes. I think it would've helped if this was a bit longer or if there was dialogue from characters to explain things. 3 minutes and 28 seconds can be enough time if you explore properly.
The vfx are actually pretty good, the cgi wasn't that noticeable (until the end), the movement/animation on the objects felt natural for the most part, the lighting on the models matched each place very well, and the textures are great. Until the end where the green screen effects are awful, I don't know what happened.
The acting is decent. No one talks at all which would've helped explain this world and how it works and whatnot (like I mentioned before). Some characters' mouths move but all you can hear are the sound effects and music.
The music is alright, it sounds a lot like something from Men in Black. It plays through almost the entire film which kind of got annoying. Sometimes having no music in scenes can be a good thing, it would've been better if the music stopped as the giant man was taking out the vacuum and setting it up, adding to the horror of the tiny people realizing they'll die within seconds but no, it just keeps playing and it doesn't even fit the setting.
Remember what I said about this ending abruptly earlier? Yeah so, when the man plugs in his vacuum and turns it on, everyone on the ground starts running away as a police waves his arm telling them to go. The vehicles get sucked up, the police (somehow not being sucked in) falls down and crawls backwards while watching the vacuum. Then it cuts to black and the credits roll. With that and nothing being explained, it just leaves the story incomplete. We don't know what happened to the tiny people (the ones who weren't near the vacuum like the ones on the table) or if the giant ever noticed they were tiny people.
One last thing, the giant seemed to never notice that the people were even in his room. They had a highway, cities and other places built which would've taken a while to contruct. So somehow he's never looked down at his floor and noticed or never accidentally stepped on someone, their car, a building. It makes no sense. Another thing that makes no sense is the guy climbing near the door. They make it look like he's a spy and has intel of the giant getting a vacuum but he never shows up again after his scene.
Overall, this film is meh, not the worst thing ever but not good.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Not as good as people say it is
I've been a Mario fan for as long as I can remember. When I heard about there being a Mario movie coming out soon being produced by Illumination, I was really skeptical. Then I saw the trailers and it looked amazing and I thought that everyone would think it would suck but it would end up being a great film.
Don't get me wrong, by no means is it terrible, but it isn't that good either. The story is one we've seen over and over again, human ends up in strange world and has to get mcguffin and stop bad guy. They didn't do anything to spice it up and it feels like they were going off a checklist, there's the scene where the protagonist enters strange world and is freaked out, then the scene where he is doing a training montage, then he goes and tests his skills after insisting to someone they join them, you get the point.
The writing is ok, a lot of lines felt extremely bland. For example, Spike calling Mario and Luigi failures at the start of the movie after the ad they worked so hard on aired on TV and how they'll never be anything more than losers or something like that (he's just the generic bully type character we've seen so many times), then at the end when they use the Super Star and defeat Bowser in Brooklyn he cheers them on and isn't rude to them anymore. Other lines are lame such as the Koopa General saying, "Time to die, Mario!" on Rainbow Road before he crushes his kart with him in it. The pacing is too fast. Characters will just go along with things, Toad, for example, tells Peach he's Mario's best friend and he's coming along. Peach doesn't want him to then he just tells her (and I quote), "I fear nothing" while looking up at the sky and that's it. He doesn't do the training course like Mario did to prove he can come, he just says 3 words and Peach is willing to let him come. Then in the scene with Mario and Donkey Kong in the eel's stomach, they're upset about how they're stuck and how it's their fault about them getting stuck and how their dads think they're not good enough. Then Donkey Kong slams his fists really hard and then causes the eel's stomach to gurgle and then that's when they get an idea of how to get out. That all happens in about 1 or 2 minutes, I'm not joking. It's the same scene from other movies we've seen but just with Mario and Donkey Kong in an eel (and another thing on the checklist). One of the scenes at the start of the movie is also too fast. Mario is upset his dad doesn't think he's good or whatever and goes to play on his NES in his room. Luigi comes in and Mario turns on the news, Brooklyn is flooding for some reason (it's never explained) and they say they need to save Brooklyn (like they did in their ad) so they go into the sewers but they end up in a completely different part of it and that's when they find the warp pipe and get warped to the Mushroom Kingdom. The fast pace also means that the characters don't grow properly and the moments that are meant to be emotional just aren't because they don't build up on them. In a flashback, Baby Luigi is building a castle and some other kid comes and kicks it over. Mario comes and stands up for Luigi and the kid goes away. I felt little to no sympathy for him because they didn't really show us their relationship before then, yes they showed they are best bros and are a great team but there isn't anything about Mario being there for Luigi except for 1 line and that's it. The last issue I have is the references. I know that sounds weird but hear me out. There are a lot and it seems like they were spending more time on adding all the references instead of working on the characters' growth or making the dialogue less dull. Seriously, almost every scene has a lot of references from things like Nintendo consoles to other Mario media. Some of the references do serve a purpose but just some.
The voice acting is ok, none of the main cast's voices fit the characters (except for maybe Charlie Day as Luigi).
This movie, honestly, is just ok. It's enjoyable but not something I'd watch again. If they do make a sequel (which is likely since the post credits scene showed Yoshi's egg and also it's doing very well in the box office), hopefully they'll fix the issues this movie had.