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Reviews
Christmas Coupon (2019)
A Christmas Nightmare
I was originally looking for a nice, simple holiday film for the entertainment of my family. I failed with this one. The described plot seemed decent enough and the question of "what was the Christmas coupon" caught my eye. After watching it, that question was still barely answered and had little relevance to the whole movie. But first, let's delve into the characters.
The main character sucked. She had no class, no interesting things about her, brought no depth or respect, not even mentioning the fact that she had a perpetual deadly sneer and two lazy eyes. I think a better title would be "if looks could kill." And personality? Next to none, and what little there was was unlikeable. Her acting was atrocious and should've been replaced as the main character by the only slightly awful acting from her sister. Next up on the plate: Bobby. Who is Bobby? And why is he and his meatballish appearance starring? He was a stereotypical jerk with no other dimension and extremely jealous, easily triggered by the main character, Alison, and her former high school sweetheart literally skating. That's it. The former high school sweetheart was a total ditz, as expected, but slightly more likable than the rest. The rest aren't worth mentioning, but all were bad actors.
Next up, the plot. It also sucked. It was comparable to a cheap porno that never actually went anywhere and was wholly unsatisfying. I wanted to think of Christmas in a better light, but this movie totally changed that, for the worst. I also have never skated since watching.
As a whole, bad, unlikeable characters you don't want to root for, flagrantly awful acting, and not airtight (open-aired plot) that was completely predictable and boring.
Honorable Mention: the little girl in the turquoise jacket being subjected to awful skating lessons from the main character and comedically flailing throughout a few scenes. Good job.