mlevel Reviews

Across the Universe (2007)

Tragical Misery Tour

[1/10 · 29 February 2008]

Oh, have you seen "Across the Universe"? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445922/) Are we the only ones to find it bad, bad, REALLY bad? I think there's an odd syndrome--I've seen it before, can't remember where--of 60s-and-Beatles-infatuation among people who were born post-60s-and-Beatles, and they seem to take ownership of the 60s and Beatles music in a way that is often extremely distasteful to me. Besides the codification of the 60s into convenient chewy clusters (one character drafted, another one black, a girl "too" involved in the anti-war protest movement , another in the club scene trying to sing like Janis Joplin...), in this movie, it appears they tried to build an entire plot around the 60s and most of the dialog out of (sung) Beatles songs. To me, as soon as you start naming characters "Jude," "Max(well)," "Prudence," "Sadie," "Lucy," you're already losin' me, kid. When half of those characters are ONLY there to support an occurrence of one person or another breaking into song (i.e. "Prudence's" whole raisin-bran d'etre in the ENTIRE movie was to have a scene where she's shut herself in a closet pouting and everyone outside the closet sings "Dear Prudence," now THAT's just stupid. They shoehorned songs into the plot, and plot lines into song-ops. The one English guy always sings with a smile on his face and everyone has these pure, clear (let's call it "plear") voices fresh out of "Fame" (they were born after THAT, too, I think). WAY too many telegraphed references to well-known Beatles and 60s trivia, like the use of apples and strawberries and the comment to Max about killing grandma with a hammer. There are a few cool animation bits (well, one, really), but ALL of that might not be too bad, but they ALSO had to bring my man Jimi into it! Now they're making me mad. The characters are zero-dimensional. The acting is out of Junior High, rising only occasionally to Sophomore level. The writing is just execrable. I had to watch it through because these are my heroes from, and this is the soundtrack of, my youth, and frankly I couldn't tear myself away, just like that reporter and the Hindenberg--"Oh the humanity!"

One Hour Photo (2002)

Lacks Focus

[18 September 2002]

If I worked at the film shop and received this I would put some of those little stickers on the print, giving hints on how to correct the under-exposition, too much purple, poor focus, questionable composition, etc.

Anyone cast as a Walmart photo clerk should be able to do "creepy" convincingly. I've seen two now of Williams' trilogy of dark-side movies: he was better in "Death to Smoochy."

The Deep End (2001)

Holes in Plot Deeper than Lake Tahoe

[1/10 · 8 July 2002]

I rented this video on the cover's recommendation: something like "Finally a Thriller that Actually Thrills!" I could barely keep my eyes open.

Neurotic soccer-mom Tilda Swinton chews up beautiful Tahoe City scenery while clumsily attempting to cover up a death that was obviously accidental, alternately trying to reach her husband and trying to prevent her husband from discovering the situation (?), and then dealing with blackmailers who don't have actual evidence related to the death.

Goran Visnjic mumbles his way through an absurdist turn as a blackmailer with a heart of gold (and, conveniently, CPR training).

Jonathan Tucker plays Swinton's sexually-experimentive son with all the adventurousness of Mr. Potato Head. Even while being sodomized on video, he can't seem to muster much in the way of emotion. Some might call this an "understated" performance, but he looks to me deader than Josh Lucas' character at the bottom of the shallowest part of Lake Tahoe (almost a mile deep in some parts, as I recall).

I stuck it out to the bitter end, and was rewarded by the most absurd conclusion I have seen since George W. Bush became President. You'd have to be a champion disbelief-suspender to enjoy this movie.

The story is so contrived, and the acting so bad, the video store should pay ME for watching this one.

Surrender Dorothy (1998)

Offender Mostly

[2/10 · 1 December 2001]

This film seemed to be going for shock value, but without much sense of reality in the script or in the acting.

No addict of any kind would submit to the indignities depicted here unless predisposed to do so.

I rated this 2 out of 10, though, because of a pretty cool soundtrack, and because "Dorothy" was kinda cute. ;-)