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Reviews
The Baby of Mâcon (1993)
Putrid and Vile
In a word, one of the most putrid and despicable movies ever made. Its bad from the start and by the end the movie plunges to such depraving depths you feel like sticking a gun in your mouth and blowing out your brains to punish yourself for subjecting your mind to such vile and horrific images.
After this movie was over I rushed about the house trying to find the most sickeningly sweet movie ever filmed as an antidote for the poison I had just consumed. I ended up having to endure some second rate Disney flick just to get the foul taste out of my mouth.
I suppose the only good thing about this movie is the fact that the director is making movies rather than engaging in some other enterprise, like stalking the night streets as a tormented serial killer. I question not only the sanity of the director, but the integrity of the actors and actresses who participated in this pile of stinking refuse.
Pornographic would be a poor label for this movie, as pornography is quite simply, much easier to stomach when compared to the "art" that this film purports to be. I would rather sit through ten screenings of the infamous and ugly "I Spit On Your Grave" (the first movie I ever saw that truly offended me)than watch five minutes of "The Baby of Macon".
I think this is a movie made for and by people who are so bitterly angry at religion that they feel they have to be blasphemous. That somehow, by defiling their minds as thoroughly as they can, they will either get back at God, or at their mean Catholic mommies who made them say one too many prayers before bedtime. Give it a rest folks, the only person you are getting is yourself. Go see a shrink - if you don't believe in God then there is no point inflicting this sort of mind altering blasphemy on yourself, you are wasting your time and damaging your humanity.
Sitting through this movie made me feel like Nicholas Cage in 8mm. I will feel tainted for the rest of my life for seeing what I have seen.
One more thing: It's a bad movie. If it weren't for the shocking imagery and that insatiable curiosity that causes people to slow down and watch the car wreck then there would be no reviews here at all because no one would have sat through it.
The Contender (2000)
Gutless, ridiculous, and full of cliche's
The Contender starts out well meaning and early in this movie we are offered what appears to be a jewel in the making. Unfortunately it does not take long for the entire thing to unravel into a thoughtless left wing propaganda film filled with one cliche after another. The performances here are solid and I loved Jeff Bridges as the President, but mostly because his character was the only person in the entire movie that wasn't two dimensional. The rest of the characters were obviously flat as paper and punched out with a cookie cutter
Joan Allen gives a solid performance despite being saddled with a character as fake as three dollar bill. Her political viewpoints come straight out of the "guidebook on political correctness". Nothing unique or heroic about her at all. The story here is gutless and only feigns real drama - the writer backs out of every potentially controversial idea in this movie and leaves us with a tidy little story unworthy of any thought provoking morale dilemmas.
There is one storyline in this movie that is so absurdly laughable you might think it came off a daytime soap opera. Ask yourself this: If someone payed you a fifty thousand dollars to jump off a building and promised you there would be an air bag at the bottom that would save you... even though you could not see it. Would you do it? I don't think so. Yet we are somehow just supposed to believe, with no reasoning behind it, that people would just up and do such a thing.
This "political thriller" is nothing more than a propaganda movie whose writers didn't have the courage to give us a real drama. The sad thing is it had the potential and the cast to be so much more.
Red Planet (2000)
50's Sci-Fi Fun
Red Planet is escapist Sci-Fi at it's best. The premise of the movie doesn't really make a lot of sense. The Characters are pretty straightforward, the dialogue is a bit cheesy at times but overall the movie is "fun". Red Planet is not your thinking person's Sci-Fi, its the fun action/adventure Sci-Fi that you grew up watching when you were home sick from school when you were a kid. This movie is 1 part Aliens, 1 part Starship Troopers, and 2 parts 2001 a Space Odyssey if that helps.
Red Planet plays more like a Twilight Zone episode and it doesn't attempt to take itself as seriously as Mission To Mars. The special effects in Red Planet are top notch and while the acting performances are nothing to write home about Val Kilmer and Carrie Ann Moss supply us with some nice eye candy. Terance Stamp (General Zod from Superman I&II) turns in a nice little performance as an astronaut searching for God and Benjamin Bratt plays a real jerk of a first officer.
Event Horizon (1997)
Hellraiser in Space
This movie started with some nifty looking scenery and some provocative Sci-Fi ideas and ended in a horrific blood-spattering gore fest. It wasn't so much frightening as it was disturbing in it's frantic attempts to make us feel afraid by having actors throw rubber eyeballs soaked in ketchup at the camera. Sheesh, they could have at least dressed someone up in a rubber suit as an alien and had them throw the eyeballs.
This is quite possibly the worst Sci-Fi movie of all time. It's just so bad I considered mailing the movie studio and asking them for a refund on my matinee ticket.