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Reviews
Echo (2023)
Confusing and Uninteresting
I couldn't make it past the first 5 minutes with the naked mud people who turned into Indians. I was only half in-half out anyway, as I never thought Echo would re-emerge, at least not without Kate Bishop.
I thought that was the purpose of the Hawkeye series in the first place - to pass the torch to the younger girl, who then would be integrated into the theatrical Avengers movies. Then a year went by. And another...
These Phase 5 and beyond MCU series and movies just lack cohesion. At first, they appeared to be paving the way for a multiversal showdown with Kang the Conqueror, but time has shown that they're just a collection of disjointed, independent projects with no discernible direction. And the time lapse between each release just makes it harder and harder to stay excited about them. For me, MCU ended with Endgame.
Home Sweet Home Alone (2021)
Bizarro Home Alone
They literally made another sequel to this franchise just to make the kid a gleeful sadist where the adults are just trying to get their stuff back.
Harry and Marv from the original movies were true bad guys and one felt no shame in laughing at the follies of their own making. But what emotionally balanced person ENJOYS watching the sympathetic mom and dad from the newest remake getting brutally injured to the laugh track of a psychopathic kid, even AFTER they told him they're not trying to hurt him, they just want their property back?!
No sympathy for the rude, spoiled kid, and the awful jokes do nothing to make it any more watchable. The only reason I suffered through this bore is because my child wanted to see it, and even he regretted it.
The Mitchells vs the Machines (2021)
Great family film!
I haven't laughed so hard in years. Like Marie Kondo, "This movie sparks joy." And now there will be a worldwide shortage of pugs. Confused? Watch with the family...and keep a No. 3 Robertson head non-slip screwdriver nearby, just in case.
Enola Holmes (2020)
Feminism, fine; domestic terrorism, nah
A truly wonderful cast brings to life a fun adventure peppered with humor...and feminism. Not subtle nods to feminism, but repeated jabs to the face: "here it is!" "Here's some more!" And I didn't mind.
After all, the world ought to be equally accessible for everyone. A fight for feminism is a fight for all. I thought it worked well with a female lead; a girl coming of age who wields her intelligence to thumb her nose at the world's chauvinist conventions.
I just don't like feeling "preached" at. And yet, I enjoyed the light-hearted telling enough that I shrugged off the angry, 'woke' messaging that brimmed underneath every scene, like a crowd of marching "nasty women" in pink hats screaming at the audience through the film.
SPOILER
It was only at the end, when the brilliant, enlightened Holmes mother, using all her powers of deduction and logic, concluded that the most reasonable course of action was domestic terrorism - a bombing. Because in a world progressing too slowly for women's rights, blowing up the House of Lords - while they were convened for a vote - would of course bring about the desired change. "Give us what we want or we'll kill you."
That was the great message from the genius Holmes matriarch. Thank goodness her pure daughter managed the same effect with zero loss of life (well there was that one guy, but he was a killer).
Anyway, other than that repulsive subplot thread, I found the movie enjoyable and entertaining.
Intelligence (2020)
Plagued by Poor Writing, Flat Jokes
What's with all the sex jokes? Are the writers mentally stunted, or still in high school? They're not even funny. The British cast is great, but Schwimmer's character strictly talks about stripping and bedding his coworkers.
Furthermore, it would be more appealing if Schwimmer's character had the same personality flaws, but actually had a talent, a vital skill that would force the Brits to begrudgingly keep him on staff. But no, he's just a sexist ass with flat jokes.
Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made (2020)
Greatest movie ever made
Hilarious. I know no other way to describe it. The deadpan humor of Timmy, not to mention the supporting cast, plus all the random cut sequences and humorous gags going on in the background with his pet bear.
I realize others may have different tastes in humor and not appreciate the rich writing and stellar performances in this epic family film. Unfortunately, those people are simply wrong, and lead depressing, humorless lives. Don't hate them; pity them.
Next Gen (2018)
"I, Robot" rip off
Unimaginative re-hash of "I, Robot," that borrows heavily from the graphic designs of and "Big Hero 6" and "Wall-E."
That said, the new elements of the story were entertaining. The Baymax knock-off was endearing, though I had trouble identifying with teenage girl drama. Sooo much anger!
There was a humorous jab at Steve Jobs and the drones of devotees who practically worship Apple products. In the end, though, I didn't find enough new material to justify making this movie.
Touchback (2011)
It's a Wonderful Life Meets Friday Night Lights
Replace Clarence the angel with football, and you have "Touchback." Except instead of all the good qualities that motivate George Bailey to time and again sacrifice his plans for fame and fortune, you're left with a has-been quarterback who blames everyone but himself for his series of misfortunes since his crippling last high school football game.
Consider George Bailey of "It's a Wonderful Life." He can't wait to leave his hick hometown for a successful career in the city. Yet, at every opportunity, he instead selflessly chooses to sacrifice his plans in order to come to the aid of his neighbors and the town itself. Years go by. He never gets to leave Bedford Falls, and slowly grows bitter. When his life hits rock bottom, he opts for suicide. At the last instant, he gains new perspective and finally appreciates how his life turned out, despite his long-gone grandiose plans. As he makes this realization, the entire town turns out to help him in his time of need.
Enter Scott Murphy of "Touchback." He can't wait to leave his hick hometown for a successful career as a quarterback. But when he sustains a crippling injury in a high school football game, it derails his far- fetched plans of one day playing for the NFL. Years go by. He never gets to leave Coldwater, and slowly grows bitter. When he finds himself at rock bottom, he opts for suicide. At the last instant, he gains new perspective and finally appreciates how his life turned out, despite his long-gone grandiose plans. As he makes this realization, the entire town turns out to help him in his time of need.
The difference is, Scott Murphy's only great dilemma in life is whether to choose a successful football career or a successful marriage. Either decision enriches his personal life, so it's really not much of a sacrifice, and doesn't garner much sympathy from the audience. Sure, he could have more money as a professional football player, but when the alternative is sticking with the future mother of his children, it's really not much of a choice. Furthermore, neither decision is for the benefit of the town or its people. Whatever he chooses, it's motivated by selfishness. Scott Murphy is all about Scott Murphy.
Whereas George Bailey's livelihood is repeatedly hindered by his self- sacrifice for the sake of his neighbors, Scott Murphy's own series of poor life choices keep him struggling to support his family. The only plan he ever had in life was to play football. The only act of kindness he ever visits upon his friends is dropping them off unceremoniously at their houses as a designated driver.
So, between the two protagonists, George Bailey is hands down the more generous, morally upright individual. Scott Murphy is just a bitter, poor bean farmer who can't stop reliving his final high school game.