rustemkhafizov Reviews

Smallville: Exodus (2003) Season 2, Episode 23

The episode that made me stop watching Smallville

[2/10 · 8 August 2023]

I enjoyed the show a lot up to this point. Smallville has had its ups and downs, some episodes that weren't as great as others, but this one takes the cake.

The episode overall is fine until the very end, when Clark voluntarily puts on the red Kryptonite ring for absolutely no damn reason. Not just that, it makes zero sense given how he is feeling at the time. He was feeling extremely guilty about what happened to his mom and blamed himself for hurting the people around him, yet somehow he decides to put on the ring that has caused him to hurt his loved ones in the past? (including punching his own dad and cheating on Lana in front of her??!!) It just doesn't make any logical, emotional, or storytelling sense. I really don't know what the writers were thinking, but this is where I draw the line.

I think I'll start using the expression "putting on the red ring" instead of "jumping the shark" from now on when it comes to TV shows taking a sudden dive in quality.

The Protector 2 (2013)

A decent martial arts flick, but far from Tony Jaa's best

[7/10 · 12 May 2023]

There are some creative fight scenes, like the battle against a whole army of bikers or that scene where Kham and 02 fight with electrically-charged kicks and punches that make lightsaber noises, but the writing is a bit of a mess.

The story, overall, is decent, but some sub-plots and characters don't really go anywhere. For example, there was a badass martial artist lady, whom I expected to end up fighting Kham at some point in the movie, but she dies before that happens and it feels like her story arc was cut from the film.

I think the idea of fighters being branded with the number corresponding to their strength could have been expanded upon a bit more, but we only see Kham fight two of them throughout the film, and mostly 02.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Sam Raimi at his worst

[1/10 · 5 July 2022]

I think this is what happens when a director is allowed to do whatever they want and there's no one there to tell them "no". I liked Sam Raimi's other films like the Evil Dead trilogy and, of course, the Spider-Man movies, but I think this is him at his worst.

The movie is just unnecessarily gross, gory, and over-the-top in a way that feels both dated and alien to the MCU. I know that the MCU films have experimented with other genres in the past (like how the First Avenger is a war movie, Ant-Man is a heist movie, and Guardians of the Galaxy flicks are high sci-fi), but this particular experiment with the horror genre did not work out, in my opinion. The movie isn't even really all that scary, it's more like a cheesy haunted house ride at an amusement park, but it doesn't really work and seems like a huge departure from what the first Doctor Strange movie was like.

And what was the deal with Wanda's plan, anyway? About a halfway through the film she managed to find a way to possess her own body from another universe, allowing her to be with the children she always wanted, and yet... she still felt the need to go after America at that point? Why? Didn't she already get what she wanted?!

And speaking of America Chavez, her character was pretty much wasted here. In the comics and the recent Marvel Rising animated series, she is a certified badass superheroine, but here she is mostly just a plot device and a daughter figure for Strange to look after.

Also, even though the movie is called "Multiverse of Madness", we really only get to see two other universes! Yup, that's it. To be fair, there is a short sequence where Strange and America travel through a bunch of universes, but it only offers a split-second glance at each of them (and yet they all look more interesting than the one they end up spending most of the runtime in).

The cameos of characters like Reed Richards and Professor Xavier would've been great, if not for them getting killed off in gruesome ways about 15 minutes after being introduced. That seems worse to me than not showing them at all.

Anyway, apologies for a lengthy rant, it's just that I felt perplexed by this movie. The last MCU film I watched was No Way Home, and it is by far my favorite Marvel movie. This one, on the other hand, is easily the worst of the bunch, in my view.

My Little Pony: Make Your Mark (2022– )

If this is what G5 will be like, we're in for a disappointment...

[4/10 · 26 May 2022]

I'm honestly quite shocked at how drastically the quality of the writing dropped since My Little Pony: A New Generation (a movie which I really enjoyed). If this is supposed to be our first glimpse at what the upcoming first season of this generation of ponies will be, we are in for a big disappointment.

I know it's unfair to compare G5 to G4, but the main thing that made Friendship is Magic work so well was its characters. They were distinct, lovable, and entertaining. Something that I, sadly, cannot say about any of the characters in this iteration of the franchise. One of the biggest issues with this special, in my view, is that it focuses primarily on Zipp, which makes sense, in a way, as she had very little screen time in the movie, but it comes at a cost of making all of the other main ponies look foolish and indistinguishable from each other. Something you should really avoid doing in what supposed to be a pilot for the upcoming series.

Another major problem is that this special is surprisingly boring and for whatever reason the writers thought 45 minutes is enough to try to cram in three distinct sub-plots which don't really correlate with each other, and, for the most part, hinder one another. Was it really necessary to introduce the dragon egg subplot in this special? I'm not sure it's wise to remind the viewers of G4 so much when your own version of the series can barely stand on its own as it is (and when your baby dragon is hella ugly to boot -_-).

It was nice that they introduced a form of Earth Pony magic to the franchise, but it was something that the movie already hinted at, so the whole special ended up feeling like a slog to get to the twist that I already knew was coming. It would've been better if the special started with that revelation and focused on the shenanigans and issues that may arise from it.

As it stands, this special was not worth waiting eight months for and does not hold water to the film, let alone the previous generation. I wish I could say I'm hopeful that the actual series will be better when it comes out later this year, but I'm simply too old to be that naïve...

Catwoman: Hunted (2022)

Four-cheese pizza with some cat hair.

[4/10 · 8 February 2022]

There are a lot of things I like about this movie - the anime-inspired art style, some of the action scenes, and the abundance of a certain black cat. Yes, I love Isis! ^_^ (whoa, that probably sounds weird out of context O_o)

But, the issues of this movie are way more numerous, mostly having to do with how cheesy everything is - the tone, the writing, the dialogue, and some of the characters. I mean, Catwoman pretty much speaks exclusively in bad puns and one-liners (the kind that feel cliché and lazy rather than fun). I think a lot of this is intentional as the movie is clearly trying to go for an over-the-top, B-movie spy flick feel, but there is such a thing as going to far into a certain tonal direction, to the point where the movie just becomes what it tries to parody.

Another weird thing is the pacing where the most elaborate action scene in the film (and the one that feels very final) happens in the middle of the movie, and then, for whatever reason, it was really important for the characters to go from Shanghai to Paris and have a less finale-feeling action scene there. Was the change in location really that necessary? It didn't really affect the dynamic of the action scene; it just feels unnecessary.

Nonetheless, I do like this mix of western and eastern styles of animation, and DC was clearly trying something new here, which is commendable. I do hope that they try something like this again, but this particular attempt did not turn out well.

Hotel Transylvania: Transformania (2022)

Should Have Stayed A Trilogy

[3/10 · 14 January 2022]

I really liked the three Hotel Transylvania films, with the third one being my favorite, and I was really looking forward to this one, but..

Wow..

90% of the jokes are just slapstick (and a pretty mean-spirited one at that), and only seven characters get transformed into humans or monsters, even though this is supposed to be the biggest selling point of the film; just seems like a missed opportunity, really.

The whole conflict between Drac and Johnny just feels recycled too, like, haven't we already gone through this with the first and second films? This feels like an unused idea for the second movie that was wisely shelved but was now brought back for.. what exactly?

Bilby (2018)

Make Larrikins!

[7/10 · 11 September 2021]

You revived The Croods 2 and it turned out great! ^_^

You can revive Larrikins.

Do it.

The Suicide Squad (2021)

The one character I liked from the first film was killed right at the start.

[1/10 · 23 August 2021]

You killed off Captain Boomerang at the beginning of the movie.

F you.

Loki (2021–2023)

This is what NOT to do when you have a power creep problem in your story.

[2/10 · 11 June 2021]

For those who don't know, power creep is a situation where you introduce a new element to your story/movie/game etc. That makes the previous conflict/villain/significant event in your story seem minor and irrelevant by comparison.

A lot of stories run into this issue when they raise the stakes too high and they don't know where else to go, so they just invent something out of nowhere that makes the previous high point of the story seem minor by comparison, and when it's done poorly it makes the entire story up to this point feel meaningless.

This show, specifically its first episode, single-handedly makes all of the previously established MCU lore pointless, and I really don't see the point in watching it or any upcoming MCU shows or films anymore since nothing in that universe seems to have any real substance to it.

Yes, I know that the TVA is from the comics,, but not everything from the comics needs to be turned into live-action.

If your story gets to a point where you struggle to figure out how to raise the stakes any further because you've already set them so high, just end the story there. It has reached its full potential and any attempts at exhausting it further would lead it to collapse into a complete mess.

But I guess there's just too much money to be made from this franchise, right? Can't just leave it as is or scale the story back some. No! You HAVE to milk it for all its worth until there's nothing left, am I right, Disney?

Justice Society: World War II (2021)

Barry Allen and his friends, The Justice Society.

[5/10 · 27 April 2021]

You'd think the title characters of the movie would be, you know, the focus of the film, but they're more of a supporting cast for Barry Allen's The Flash, who time-travels to the World War II era.

Yes, this is a time-travel movie. Why? I have no idea. "Gotham by Gaslight" didn't have a time-travel plot, despite taking place in the 1800s. "Justice League: The New Frontier" didn't have one either, even though it took place in the 50s.

But yeah, for some reason this movie really needed to be a time-travel story, I guess. Were they trying to reference "The Flash of Two Worlds"? That's the comic in which Barry Allen meets the original Flash. Only that story didn't take place in the 40s and had nothing to do with World War II, so it doesn't really make sense either.

Anyway, it's really a missed opportunity as The Justice Society is the first superhero team in comic book history, but we didn't really get to know most of these characters in the movie, and if someone completely unfamiliar with these characters would try to watch it, they wouldn't be able to understand anything, as there is very little backstory provided for these heroes.

Also, why did they not include The Spectre and Sandman? At least Doctor Fate got a little bit of screen time. I can understand not including more famous heroes like Batman or Green Lantern so that they could focus more on the lesser-known characters, but then why include Superman or Wonder Woman? Though to be fair, this movie is a far better sequel to Wonder Woman than Wonder Woman 1984.

Oh, and one more thing; you'd think that with the movie taking place during World War II and all, it would feature the heroes fighting Nazis, but they actually end up fighting the Atlanteans for the majority of the film. Seriously!

Cleopatra in Space (2019–2021)

A great setting with a terrible protagonist.

[4/10 · 1 February 2021]

I really wanted to like this show, I really did. I like its space adventures, the abundance of cat characters and Akila, who is the best part of the show. Those are all great and the show would have been awesome if not for its one giant flaw..

Cleo herself.

She is one of the most obnoxious, arrogant and reckless protagonists that I've ever seen in any series. And the worst part is that her numerous flaws are seldom questioned and she never learns a lesson from her constant screw-ups that put the people around her in danger.

She is a fish-out-of-water in the future she knows nothing about, yet has little interest in learning about it and ignores the rules and warnings offered to her by the people who inhabit this futuristic world, even if it's her own friends. The number of times she put people in danger due to her recklessness is hard to count as its present in almost every episode. Yes, she is supposed to be an entitled princess as per her background, but that doesn't justify her being rewarded for her poor behavior, not to mention her "chosen one" status and unexplained martial arts and marksmanship skills which put her above the rest of the characters, despite most of them being trained in combat.

The problem with Cleo is that she is given everything without having to work for it and she doesn't grow as a person throughout the show despite her many mistakes, her attitude simply remains the same regardless of how many times it puts her and the people around her in danger. It would be one thing to have a deeply flawed character in a story aimed at adults, but in a show for kids a main character like that is downright dangerous, as it creates a terrible role model for the kids to look up to.