russ_15 Reviews

Variable Geo (1996 Video)

An instant cult anime flick

[10/10 · 22 July 2003]

Out of all the animes that came out in the U.S. in the year 1999, this is one of the most bizarre, yet enjoyable anime mini-series. Based on the popular Japanese all female fighting game series, Variable Geo (or V.G. for short) is a popular national sport in a semi-futuristic Japan. The rules are simple: if the fighter loses, they have to strip and embarrass themseleves in front of a viewing public. But it's run by a corrupt corperation with an alterior motive, which I don't wish to spoil.

Overall, it's a good mix of all kinds of genres in addition to stylish animation and character designs.

10/10

Horrors of Spider Island (1960)

The Horrors of Spider Island really are horrible

[30 May 2003]

Viewing this film without the aid of MST3k will be impossible since everything about this German/Yugoslavian production is horrendous. The effects, editing, props, dialogue and roles of the characters are all badpoints. This also showcases the social roles for women have long evolved since this film(if one can call it as such). Made in the pre-Woman's Lib days, the men are domminant and the woman are submissive bubbleheads. The dubbing is as bad as your common Godzilla film. So to sum it all up, don't waste your time watching this without protection. MST3K Protection!

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Manos, feel the Hands of Fate

[25 March 2003]

You must understand where this film is coming from in order to understand its badness. It was produced, directed, written and stared an ex-fertilizer salesman named Hal Warren. So now you know the film will LITERALLY stink. Also, it was shot in El Paso, Texas on a shoestring budget. Another bad point given out here. And third, to reappear on an episode of MST3K more than 25 years after its release date seals the nail on the coffin of this turkey.

Utterly bad in every respect without the aid of MST3K creator Joel Robinson and his "robot friends" Tom Servo and Crow T Robot. But with them, its a field day of riffing and fun.

So watch the MST3K version of this mega bomb and save yourself from getting eye twitching for years to come.

Future War (1997 Video)

Future Wack is more like it

[24 March 2003]

The commentary from Mike Nelson and his two bot buddies Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, make it a riot, but without the commentary of MST3K, this film would be impossible to sit thru. The flaws are abundant in this 1995 direct to video fiasco; continuity, special fx, script and above all, the acting. Sister Ann (played by Travis Brooks Stewart. What kinda name is that?!?) and her past prosititution problems have no relation at all to the "Terminator"-esque rip-off. What was the production company thinking when they funded this waste of film?

Be on the lookout for puppet dinos, cardboard boxes, and a cardboard camera too ;)

Hobgoblins (1988)

Definitive garbage film

[24 March 2003]

Of all the movies Transworld Entertainment put out onto Home Video, this is the worst. It's a shoestring budget rip off of Gremlins,Ghoulies, and Critters. The little hobgoblins are mere toys for crying out loud. The actors all have talent....of a cardboard cutout! (HAHA. made my own MST3K style riff) But speaking of the beloved comedy show, this film is best viewed with the good ol' boys of the Satelittle of Love.

But this movie had only one good thing in it: The music by the Fontanelles. "Kiss Kicker" has become a fave of mine along with some of their others featured in the film. Guys, if you're out there and reading this, put out your songs so others can treasure them.

Hellraiser: Inferno (2000 Video)

99 minute wast of time!!!!

[4 March 2002]

Warning! this film may cause convulsions after viewing!! (Just kidding, but it could happen) A pathetic addition to the Hellraiser Series, it's totally incomprehensible all the way through. If you ever plan to have a Hellraiser marathon, skip this, I REPEAT, skip this film in its entirety! For MST3K fans, this would be the perfect candidate IF the show was still around (*sniff* it isn't any more). So, do yourself a favor for the sake of your own sanity, DO NOT RENT, BUY, OR SEE THIS MOVIE!