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Ugo Fabrizio Giordani
A family driving through a small town gets lost and winds up at a backwoods shack managed by Torgo, who takes care of it while The Master is away. The Master worships Manos, an evil deity, and he also wears a neat cape. When Torgo lets the family stay, The Master awakens and does mean stuff like burning off Torgo's hand and sicking his dog on the family pet. Meanwhile, The Master's wives wrestle for his favor. Written by
Jeremy Yuenger <firstname.lastname@example.org>
After seeing this movie I ran through the house screaming at the top of my lungs for several hours pausing occasionally only to bang my head repeatedly on the floor. And that was the MST3K version!! Imagine seeing this movie pure and undiluted! It's too horrible to conceive!
Seriously, this movie is not only the worst movie I've ever seen; it's the worst movie I can imagine being made! How could any be worse! Could Ed Wood make such a movie? Arch Hall Sr.? Ray Dennis Steckler? Phil Tucker? I don't think so. None can approach Hal P. Warren, sometime fertilizer salesman and would-be auteur, for producing total cinematic crap!
Now excuse me, I must go wash up. Just thinking of this movie makes me feel filthy all over...
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