garywhittaker-27089 Reviews

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

I really wanted to like it , but ...

[1/10 · 13 February 2021]

This film was absolutely atrocious, the opening of when Diana was a child at the competition was promising, after that , it all went down hill and rapidly so , the CGI was amateurish, the dialogue corny and the characters were cardboard cut-outs, also virtually all the men aside from Steve in this were white, lecherous and unpleasant, typical of Hollywood at the moment , at 2 and a half hours , there are much better things you could be doing with your time ( housework springs to mind)

VHS Nasty (2019)

Why bother?

[1/10 · 17 November 2020]

Anything with video nasties always grabs my attention , I grew up in the era when these movies were around and remember some of the covers vividly as my mates dad owned a video shop , but what we have here are people I've never heard of talking about these films , but in no real great depth and what they are saying has been said a million times over , I switched off after 50 minutes as it got a bit repetitive

Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein (1972)

Touches of great horror but mostly misses the mark

[4/10 · 30 January 2020]

Bram Stoker and Mary Shelly would be spinning in their graves had they watched this, the story tells of Dr Frankenstein wanting to take over the world with the aid of Dracula and his vampire brides, Frankensteins monster is also involved, he kidnaps victims so the doctor can drain them of their blood , the film reaches its climax by having a mangy werewolf join in at the end and have a fight with the monster , the end What could go wrong with the classic monsters of yesteryear? Loads ! ... Dracula says nothing , he just grimaces baring his fangs , Frankensteins monster has a flakey chin and painted on stitches and the werewolf looks like he has pubic hair glued to his face replete with joke shop fangs, was this film supposed to be set in Spain or Eastern Europe? Was it supposed to be set in the 19th century? the most disturbing thing of all was seeing a real bat drowning in blood in a big jar all in all dull and recommended for insomniacs

Stage Fright (1980)

Nightmares? Wet dreams would be more apt!

[1/10 · 7 January 2020]

This is an Aussie attempt at a slasher movie and unlike it's American counterparts, this one has a shed load of nudity and sex, the story tells of a disturbed young woman who is triggered into murdering people when they have sex , a prologue reveals that the girl's mum was a bit loose in her ways and was killed by accident by the daughter in a car crash , the daughter is then rejected by her dad and placed into care , the girl then kills her foster dad with a shard of glass , move to the present day (1980) and she is now an aspiring actress and finds that the people she is acting with are being murdered in horrible ways with pieces of glass , it's no secret who the killer is as it's made obvious on the poster, the DVD and Blu ray releases , The stabbings are nasty , the nudity gratuitous (mostly with people you wouldn't want to see naked ) but it's all so lacklustre and by the numbers

Dracula (2020)

Drakiller... this killed Stoker's character

[1/10 · 4 January 2020]

I watched the last episode last night and I have to say it was as dull as ditch water, initially it started so well on Wednesday with all the gothic trappings, but from thereon in , it just descended into a dull and gory mess , the worst of the 3 episodes was last night where Dracula fell for a truly obnoxious girl (who , in fairness , did get her comeuppance) I expected so much more from Mark Gatiss, but was really let down on this one , for a much better Dracula adaptation watch the BBC 1977 version with Louis Jourdan

Dracula (2020)

This needs to be staked

[1/10 · 3 January 2020]

I'm a huge fan of Gatiss and his style of writing but this was awesomely dull and lacklustre. I just didn't get the constant Christian bashing and digs at the English. It's sad as it seems modern horror needs to rely on gore as opposed to atmosphere For the definitive Dracula TV movie, it has to be the 1977 version with Louis Jourdan as the Count

Crypt of the Living Dead (1973)

So - so vampire movie

[5/10 · 31 December 2019]

Filmed in Turkey the story tells of an man looking for his missing father on an island, ominously known as "Vampire Island " we have seen dad's fate at the beginning of the movie , he is crushed under a stone coffin and decapitated (cut from most versions) by a wild man , the son comes to extricate dad and bury his body, one natch is , the coffin in which dad is under contains the body of a vampire, a French princess, just waiting to be revived, moving the coffin means disturbing her and her eternal rest , as in good horror film fashion ,she is released and causes vampiric mayhem on the island , along the way we meet the love interest for the son and an ominous "nice guy" who isn't all what he's cracked up to be , who just happens to be the love interests brother , the vampire princess is destroyed but the vampire plague hasn't been completely wiped out ... A composite of a Spanish movie and an American one , the locations are pretty eerie and the night scenes are in particular. If you can , get to see the uncut version, if you've seen the cut version , the uncut one will come as a surprise

Tales of the Unexpected: The Flypaper (1980) Season 3, Episode 1

If ever there was a film to warn your children about "stranger danger"

[10/10 · 30 December 2019]

This was one of the very popular Tales of the Unexpected that was shown in the UK on ITV , this tale from 1980 has to be one of the most disturbing of then all and I will guarantee that it will linger in the mind long after you have watched it , the story tells of an unhappy girl, Sylvia who seems to be an inconvenience to her gran and to her piano teacher, it seems like Sylvia has no adults she can turn to , she leaves school one day to discover that she is being followed by an old man who eventually follows her onto a bus , he is creepy and seems to take an unhealthy interest in Sylvia, a kindly old lady steps in and berates the old man for being a creep , she takes Sylvia back to her caravan home and tells her that she must call the police due to the recent disappearance of a young girl, the phone line appears to be down so the old lady makes Sylvia a cup of tea , suddenly there are footfalls heading towards the caravan door... Really disturbing piece of drama that would never see the light of day today , the look on Sylvia's face is one of shock and resignation, which makes the whole story even more horrific

Kwansukui Dracula (1982)

Dracula in a coffin

[7/10 · 29 December 2019]

I was lucky to see a bootleg copy of this on video a few years ago ,it's super obscure,the story tells of Dracula falling in love with a Korean girl and follows her back to Seoul where Drac then proceeds to put the bite on the people around her , including an American girl whom she was travelling with , the plot is supposedly based on Hammer's the legend of the 7 golden vampires , but i couldn't see any similarities aside from a few kung fu moves , let's hope that an enterprising company like Mondo Macabro release it one day ?

Hell of the Living Dead (1980)

Stock footage and the living dead

[8/10 · 29 December 2019]

If ever the expression of a movie being so bad , it's good , would apply to this ! It tells the tale of a chemical spillage that causes the unfortunate people to ingest it to become zombies , whose bite then spreads the disease, there is a roving reporter and her loyal cameraman who travel to the source of the problem. En route they come across some soldiers who are not adverse to blowing holes in the heads of the marauding zombies, a Spanish-Italian co production , this one feels more Spanish (most of it was filmed in Spain )and is padded out with lots of stock footage of jungle animals and tribes. This had the dubious honour of being on the video nasty list here in the UK , no doubt on the trail of Zombie Flesh Eaters and it's reputation , this film also contains a zombie rat, a first for a zombie flick I think

The Body Beneath (1970)

Horrors in Highgate

[10/10 · 29 December 2019]

I'm probably in a very small group of people that actually really enjoys Andy Milligan movies , this for me ,is without question , his best it's a very clear nod to "Dracula" 1931 version and Hammer movies that were still being churned out at the time , Milligan must have also been very aware of the story that was big in the press at the time of the so called "Highgate vampire " he uses about a minute of screen time of the location and even then we just see 3 pantomime style vampire ladies with green make up slathered over their faces attack a woman who is tending to a grave , the plot concerns a reverend who is a centuries old vampire whose bloodline is dying out due to incest , he traces family members who may or may not be good to sire the next generation of vampire children , he finds it in a relative who is already pregnant and plans to use her child to carry on the legacy , Its shockingly cheap , badly acted but there is just something about this film that appeals to me Don't go expecting a hammer style movie , this has more in common with Acorn Antiques !

Sexboat (1980)

A lot of salty seamen !

[10/10 · 29 December 2019]

I remember this to be one of or if not the first porno movies I ever saw , in the dawn of the VHS revolution this film was being swapped about my playground amongst the hormone ridden 13 year olds , eventually it landed in my greasy hands and I was "treated" to a hard core porno with comedy elements, think 'Some like it hot' where two guys sneak aboard a woman only ship dressed as women , as you can imagine , there are many sexual escapades , including an impressive one man on 5 women orgy , the film concludes with some pirates raping and pillaging, the raping is far from sinister as the women look like they are raping the pirates ! I have a soft spot (or hard one, depending on your point of view) for this movie. Give it a go