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Reviews
Thirteen Lives (2022)
Theatrical release
I've already watched this on Amazon... however if it were to have a theatrical release I would go to see it in a first rate cinema. This is so good it should be allowed to qualify for Oscar nominations. One of the best of the year so far.
Station Eleven (2021)
Annoyed
I spent the last 3 episodes talking to the TV. There are so many cringe producing inconsistencies. I'm most annoyed with how The Profet is dealt with. Ok he is responsible for the deaths of two children and the former leader of the group. Awww nothing a good hug and some therapy theater won't cure. Pass me the barf bag. This show benefits from the real pandemic going on now. One more parting shot. Everyone plays a perfect Hamlet with no rehearsal, no study, no nothing. Soooooo annoying.
Spencer (2021)
Oh my
Lady UnDi... or undead. Stewart doesn't act, she strikes a pose, then another. Metaphors, like anvils, are dropped on your head. Get it baby, it's a Jazz riff on a wacky Princes. Just please don't do another one. After Jackie, and now this drek, I shudder to think who's up next on the chopping block. I wouldn't mind some of those deserts though.
What If...? (2021)
Ouff cartoons
This is fine for Saturday morning kid lineup time. Compared to the recent live Wanda and Loki series it's weak gruel indeed. The Dr Strange episode sparked some, the rest are only interesting if you have a extremly limited imagination. Can somebody meet Space Ghost?
Katla (2021)
Talk about missing the headline.
So, Zombies, Changelings, WTF ever, are WALKING OUT OF A VOLCANO! Yet everyone is concerned about interpersonal suppression and relationships, not that something supernatural is going on! The Scientist and his wife who decide to kill the EIVL version of their kid, rather than study what the hell is happening! Let's play Russian Rulette with my Zombie clone. Brilliant. Ok it's supposedly based on some kind of folklore, but the metaphor is like a volcano blowing up under your ass. Turns every character into a navel gazing self obsessed jerk. Sure the rest of humanity doesn't give a s**t about magic meteorites making the dead walk. Now, how do you make that science project volcano again?
Madame Claude (2021)
Mais où est Emanuelle?
It's heartening to know that the French are capable of making a crappy Netflix movie. Perhaps they even consider it a genre. Some favorite bits: Madame Claude going full Citizen Kain on her cheating lover, worst prostitut killer ever running through the woods before being shot, shoving Dadies face into the food, and the same set up over and over of Sidonie leaving some party to privately talk with Claude. The interesting things historically are skimmed over in favor of spending time with the girls. Oh ma petite chou, you are not hurt so bad. Barf. A take on this tale with new eyes could have been interesting. But with this flic, Emanuelle should have done a cameo.
Behind Her Eyes (2021)
6th Sense Enter the Void SPOILERS!
"I astral project into people."
That's right. The best final plot twist since M Night finished his superior movie with a reveal you do not see coming. I wish the director gave us the flashback sequence 6th had. There are some obvious stretches to get there, but get there we do. Did we really need the squiggly projections? Tinker Bell anyone? Could have been far scarier just employing the sweeping camera work as done by Gaspar Noé in Enter The Void. Go watch that folks if this creeped you out.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Pascal is great fun... and that's it
Lordy, what a mess. The first WW flic was a great WW1 romp. What happened to the chemistry between Gadot and Pine? This is one of the worst Super Hero movies ever. The two points are for Pascal channeling 80's Bond villains. When Gadot loses her powers as WW someone should have told her it didn't mean her acting as well. When Wiig turned into that Cat they should have given her a butthole. Oh I can go on and on about the many horrors in this dreg of a movie, but why bother. Miss it.
Enola Holmes (2020)
Wake up.
I loved the entire cast. Fabulous production. I can sense the low-raters here resent the 'woke' messaging. I did have a few eye rolls here and there I confess. But in the end a great romp of a movie. Spin offs please.
Rust Valley Restorers (2018)
Yo... Eh?
Great fun show. More about the personality of the protagonists than restorations, but that is fine with me. The energy jumps off the screen. I hope Netflix does more of these. Just fun. Some of the cars do indeed look great at the end.
Little Fires Everywhere (2020)
All's not well that begins well
Ok I can jump on the Washinton complainers club. Her choices seem to be the most obvious ones most of the time, to the point where we pause and redo a bit of dialogue with a more subtle or interesting take. But there's something else rotten in the seemingly High state of Shakerville, with characters acting in a way to arrive to a given plot point or twist. I thought it began rather well, but now, up to episode 5, I am sometimes groaning at the obvious constructions. The dream sequences are laughable and not constructed like dreams at all. I will watch to the bitter end... but right now... if I had some flammable materials I might have a Pyromaniatic moment and set fire to my TV.
Unbelievable (2019)
True story but can we have more?
I'm starting the S02 crusade. The pairing is too good not to have more. Superb casting.
The Lion King (2019)
Jon Favreau is a very talented guy
He is very talented. But sometimes the very best batters can strike out. There are technical aspects of this film that are impressive. There are others that add to the failure of this remake. The lions faces are just not expressive enough. Some of the voice over falls flat compared to the original, Seth Rogan being a notable exception. I thought the Alladin movie was a success... because of the way it expanded on the original. It wasn't a copy. It used the original as a jumping off point then gave it a very fresh take and update that really succeeded. This is a pale imitation.
Secret Obsession (2019)
Almost as bad as Dirty John
Ok... so it's not the worst Netflix movie I ever saw, but it comes in a close second. I asked Netflix if they were gaslighting me with Dirty John. Here I think they are gathering data on sad Netflixers who are inside watching this load of dreg instead of going outside. I'm at a loss to figure out if the acting or the script is worse. The preview even gives away the whole pot of spaghetti. So I guess the genre they are hyping is 70's TV soap operas? Some highlights... dumbest psycho ever... the limp... the detective who can't afford backup... the letter... photoshopping... the hospital with one employee... oh forget it. Go outside.