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Game of Thrones: The Gift (2015)
Season 5, Episode 7
7/10
"The king who ran" - Stannis Baratheon
4 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The follow up to the controversial episode unbent unbroken, "The gift" serves as a nice reminder of what game of thrones used to be... and then there is another bad dialogue scene... oof. As per usual in season 5 the dialogue is inconsistent at best. It's evident that David and Dan only had a rough draft of the Winds of winter from George R. R. Martin, to write this season, as the dialogue often wavers from stale and boring to good. (What George wrote, and what David and Dan had to fill In themselves) Much of the charm from the first four seasons is therefore still lost, and as per usual in season 5, the writing isn't the only problem, as season 5 is especially famous for its bad lighting.

Nevertheless some great moments are here, followed by half baked scenes who don't let the action climax. Dorne is still as stale as ever and a snooze fest to get through. The scene with Jamie and Myrcella is wasted completely as Mycella leaves before Jamie can even open his mouth. Bronn still only serves as comic relief with the sandsnakes.

Tyrion and Jorah finally meet Denarys, as Jorah and Tyrion lack chemistry it's about time. Luckily this was before Tyrion got completely carecter assisnated, the emotional moment between Jorah and Denarys was good though.

There was a few great scenes Olenna hasn't lost her touch against the High sparrow in their battle of wits, the scene with Tommen and Cerci was pretty heartfelt, (as messed up as it was) and the end with Cerci getting what was coming, it's safe to say Lena Headey was an S tier actor in this part of game of thrones "my face will be the last thing you see when you die" gave me chills. (refering to the waterboarding torture scene in season 6.)

The conflict between the high cept and the royal capitol could have been utilised more clearly and brutally in the civilians, yet it feels devoid and lifeless causing the world to feel a little empty as we rarely ever see civilians react to the actions around them would make kings landing more believable, but I guess they didn't have the budget?

The entire concept of this episode revolving around a gift was a little confusing. Aemon Targayons death was almost great, I remember it better unfortunately, so it was a bit of a let down. Though he still got a nice sendoff.

In the north Stannis is still a manis as the red woman tries to convince him to sacrifice his daughter Mereen. A pretty messed up scene concidering what happens later in the season.

All in all this episode had a lot of good stuff, but also a lot of dull stuff. Baylish is an idiot now, Ramsey is mean and Sansa is in deep trauma over everything, and Jesus Christ, what happened to Theon/Reek is very very hard to watch. Overall the quality was all around the place but it's still one of the better episodes of season 5. If they did Dorne justice or just cutted it out it would get a higher score than 7.8 wich is my rating. Oh and Sam gets his beak wet, okay then that happened lol how sweet. Still a nice leadup to hardhome.

But in summary, you can Strip away the big scenes and you won't find much else there.
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Game of Thrones: What Is Dead May Never Die (2012)
Season 2, Episode 3
10/10
"Power resides where men believe it reside"
3 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
A super underrated masterpiece of an episode. This episode not only foreshadows the white walkers (again) it foreshadows Brann As a warg, it also leads up to the death of Renly. It does an excellent job of setting up the Tyrells as a house. Brianne is also introduced here (one of my favourite carecters) This episode also does a fine job setting showing Theon's inner conflict about his alligence.

There is some unessecary filler with Shae, while not exactly neccisary it makes the world feel more fleshed out and real while simultaneously not taking too much space. The dinner scene with Sansa and the lanisters does a superb job showcasing how cunning Cerci actually is, and how deep Sansa is at there mercy, it's practically terrifying to watch and it gives me chills.

Towards the end of the episode we cut back to Arya who's in trouble yet again, but before the battle shares a sweet moment with the soldier from castle black (I've forgotten his name bear with me I'm not doing these reviews in chronological order). The battle scene is tense, well choreographed and intreaguing.

And at last for the cream of the crop, we see Tyrion at his smartest, carefully scheming to figure out wich of the council members is ratting him out to Cerci wich he does in a very cunning and intelligent manner. This, what was showcased in this episode was superb writing and directing. Especially how the camera shows a new carecter every time Tyrion walks in the direction of said carecter. Superb directed too. Not only that but this episode holds my favourite quote from the entire series, delivered by Varys. "Power resides where men believe it reside, it's a trick, a shadow on the wall". This quote perfectly sums up game of thrones as it's often not the king themselves who hold the power, but their advicors do. This is showcased well by Tywin lanister, Tyrion, Cerci, Margery, the Cept and many many others like Varys and Little Finger, whom all advice the kings of Westeros throughout the story.

I only have one small nitpick with this episode, and that's with the tent scene with Margery and Renly, there is a small audio bug if you pay close attention.

Otherwise this episode is straight up perfect and I'll give it a 9.9 or 10/10 opinions may change.
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7/10
Time skip
3 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This episode is pretty solid, everything happening in it is great and really really good, the dialogue is great, the acting is great. However there is one big problem. This episode is the first after the time skip, wich essentially means it's a "second pilot" as the producers themselves put it.

Essentially we are re-introduced to the cast, the new actor replacements whom are excellent actually. However there are some inconsistencies in terms of aging, mainly with sir Christin. And because of this time jump it's hard to connect emotionally to the new carecters. Will this be a problem in the future? I sure hope not, but the prior episode we saw Damon murder his ex-wife and now 10 years later we're supposed to just buy that he remaried and essentially did a 180 on his own carecter? No no no no no. That does not add up at all.

Another problem is sir cristan himself, as we never got a proper conclusion for his arc in the prior episode, his actions here aren't exactly clear. This problem probably wouldn't have been here had there been an episode in between this one and the prior, but alas HBO didn't want to extend the season soooo... What was cut was deemed unimportant I guess.

All around solid acting, solid setup. The twist in the end is great. But I have to give it a 7/10 since it's still really confusing and may throw some people off. But the show is certainly not boring, we're finally coming back to game of thrones, the dialogue the setting the suspense it's all here carefully blooming in the shadows. Also props to Milly for that stunning performance where she walks through the red keep after birth, that was extremely well made since the shot is almost 2 minutes long. Wauw. Extremely impressive.
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Game of Thrones: Beyond the Wall (2017)
Season 7, Episode 6
2/10
Run Gendry, Run!
2 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Okay let's just get this over with. This is not the Game of Thrones I once loved. The plot is completely horrendous in this episode, the plan is so goddamn idiotic that it makes you question what the point of this episode was. There are giagantic plotholes. The show no longer stays within the shows own established rules, the main carecters survived, Gendry should not have been able to run the entire way to the wall so quickly, it should have taken him weeks. Litterely. That's impossible. The timeline Is all over the place and the carecters can teleport now. The carecters themselves said it best "smart people don't come up here looking for the dead". The carecters are Completely dead inside except Sandor clegane and Davos and Jorah whom are more ore less still themselves from the prior seasons. There is an okay scene between a Jorah and Jon wich I have to give credit for. Also the bear fight was cool.

Too many nether region jokes, you know what I mean, Danarys is becoming more and more inconsistent, the whole plot of this episode feels like an excuse so the white walkers can have viserion. Speaking of, what are the white walkers even? "We don't know" said David and Dan, and they refuse to expand upon it. The plot is completely brain dead. Uncle Benjimin shows up to save Jon like a Deus ex machina and I'm supposed to be sad when we haven't seen him since season 1?? What??? How did he even know Jon was there? Or even alive?? Denarys also think Jon is dead but still waits for him? Viserions death is entirely Jons fault. Cerci would never accept this story anyway. Plot armour, brain dead carecters.

To top it all off Peter baylish is supposed to be one of the smartest carecters in the show, yet he's only becoming increasingly dumber since season 5. Arya and Sansa's fight is super unessecary and is stupid, Brianne is still the goat thank god, Jon saying "my queen" also starts here. Tyrion is the world's dumbest idiot now. The white walkers are extremely inconsistent and the lord of light will never be expanded upon either. I hope the books will be better than this travesty of an ending. Also Denarys should hate Jon now but... She dosen't??? Idk I give up...

This review is all over the place, just like this episode, 2/10 is my review, I like the bear fight and that's it.
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Game of Thrones: Two Swords (2014)
Season 4, Episode 1
9/10
I'll have to eat every ******* chicken in this room
30 September 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Westeros is shaken after the events of the Red Wedding, Sands is very reasonably shaken and Tyrion is at a loss on what to do. With the introduction of Oberyn Martel greatly brought to life by Pedro Pascal sets new stakes for the show as he is portrayed as intelligent, fierce and meanecing. Possibly up there as one of the best carecter introductions in the series.

In the north Ygrette Is coping on the betrayal of Jon as she swears to kill every crow at castle black foreshadowing the battle to come later in the season. The Episode also greatly utilizes Jon snows pre-death intelligence as he persuades his way out of trouble.

In the south, Sansa gets a visit from an old friend and receives the necklace with the poison, Olena being the savage she is, didn't leave a trace until season 7, but it's great to ses the small details (notice Olena touching Sansa's necklace at the Purple wedding in the next episode. We see Sansa in grief and we are informed on how lady Stark was thrown in the river, a shame how they completely cut her arc as the river lady from the books as it would have been relevant in season 6 and 7.

Over in the east we finally see Danny come into carecter "I will see each and every one of their faces" again only makes the end in season 8 more baffling after this scene with the corpses. Other scenes indicate how Danarys has problems controlling her dragons wich will be relevant later in the season finale. Once again, great setup, shame it didn't lead to all that much beyond this season.

Lastly there is the legendary chicken scene, wich went on to become an enormous meme in 2014 even causing a KFC sponsorship, to this day the scene is still brilliant, Arya getting her revenge and her sword, the duo between the Hound and Arya once again astonishing how well they work together.

Overall great dialogue scoring just barely a 9/10 Bonus points for that cold open of the season as Ned Starks sword is melted down, that music transition right there to the main theme? Magic.
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Anastasia (1997)
6/10
Amazing premise, dissapointing excecusion
27 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
When is a Disney film too Disney? The 1997 movie Anastasia was a fine Disney film, wich unfortunately does not set the bar high. The adaptation from the source material in contrast to the showcage of the Russian Revolution in the industrial period, was all but underdone, in fact it was quite over the top.

The beginning of the movie started with Rasputin's army invading the royal palace, wich was really all they needed for the movie, no crazy undead shuck Meister, (wich yes I get it it's made for kids.) But! Would It really have been so bad to show the scars on our main carecter's trauma? It's almost as if it's just... Forgotten about, wich is a real shame. The villan is in a sense forgettable, and reminded me a lot of Jafar from Aladdin. The dialogue is plain boring, with only few good lines.

The cemestey between the two leads is next to non-existient and the movie is really trying to push it, ironically enough the best carecters are all the side carecters who is mainly there for comic relief.

The plot itself was good with a few flaws, for example the memory loss on Anastasias part was well made, and the contrast between Dimitri choosing to leave was entirely believable, it's only a shame that it needed to have a happy ending, like most Disney movies. Personally perhaps Dimitri leaving for good would have been the best ending for the movie.

The movie was really saving on its budget with all the CGI it used, a combination of drawn animated carecters holding CGI objects, wich really stod out like a sore thumb. This is especially evident in the final battle, with the statue thingy wich looked really awefull.

Overall 6.1/10 hit or miss really, I still enjoyed it but I was just left with a "damn... This could have been much better." Kind of feeling.
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9/10
Extremely underrated might actually be the best one.
15 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Now hear me out, I know how this movie is rated, I know a lot of people hate the sequels but this is not one of them. Universal did a daring move by making a new movie for money, but shockingly it actually worked, the movies plot works to some degree and the "wow" effect from the dinosaurs is still there.

A lot of iconic scenes came from this movie, for example the famous "they're in the grass!" Is here, I gotta be honest I'm not the biggest fan of the trex running through San Diego, but it was alright. Sure the movie has its flawed carectres but it's not nearly as atrocitous as Jurassic world (just the movies In general. Give the movie a chance, you might not like it, but I think it's worth a shot.
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