hearnesque Reviews

U.S. Seals (2000 Video)

This is fantastic stuff!

[14 July 2004]

One of the most memorable films ever made. No wonder they made 2 sequels - this is fantastic stuff!

I watched this whilst at Drama School and took a lot of tips from the actors on how to act in action films. We now hold six monthly screenings of US Seals just to keep us on the right track.

I've noticed its out on a bare bones DVD, can the director please bring out a special edition DVD with a commentary by himself and the cast, and just prove to the world how small budget action flicks rock!

I rate this 9/10 - a totally funky flick!

Now to watch the sequels - see if they live up to this!

Signs (2002)

Give the trailer cutter a film to direct.

[1/10 · 25 July 2002]

A film about crop circles was how this film was seemingly sold. It sounded dreary and desperately out of date. Then I saw the trailer.

Wow!

I so wanted to like this film. Although I disliked Sixth Sense (because of Haley Waley Osment and the blatantly obvious twist) I had loved Unbreakable (I know, going against the grain), and by the look of the trailer, Signs was going to be up there with Unbreakable.

Oh dear!

Joaquin Phoenix is a great actor, as is Mel Gibson, as is the youngest Culkin - but even they couldn't save this film from being the most overblown pile of nonsense ever...period. The script was reasonably good, dialogue wise, but when it came to plot it seemed that M Night had fallen asleep at the keyboard, repeatedly bashed the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz key with his head and thought ‘that'll do'. I couldn't work out if I was watching a sci-fi film in the style of Close Encounters, or a Carry On film as it veered from one extreme to the other. This couldn't be the film I had seen in that trailer? Unfortunately, it was.

There must have been a bit of a budget on this film, so where did it all go? Mel's pocket? Just when it seemed like things were about to happen, the director decided that locking everyone in the basement, where they couldn't see anything would be 'really interesting'. Maybe, if there had been more tension, more suspense it would've been interesting. Unfortunately we were waiting for that for the entire length of the film, it never came.

Then there were the characters. I love character driven films, but when there are only about six main parts why does M Night takes one of those for himself? Fair enough, take a cameo, walk in and out of a scene ala Hitchcock, but don't give yourself such a role again, please! It's not fair on the viewer.

The finale was the biggest cop-out of all, I thought I had seen a film with a reel missing. Biggest let down of the year so far.

All the way through the film my mind kept wandering back to that trailer, it made the film look great, exciting, suspense filled. I started thinking 'Give the guy who cut that trailer a film to direct'

Unless it's M Night, then don't.

Like Joaquin's character in the film, a failed baseball player who hit so many strikes -M Night, for me you've hit two.

One more and you are out!

Shark Attack (1999 TV Movie)

The greatest film...since 'Jaws 4'

[10/10 · 16 September 1999]

Without doubt the most spellbinding, most original movie shot in years. Hats off to the director who did a fine job with the cast and crew (esp. Casper Van Dien who will be standing on the Oscar carpet this coming year! I guarantee it!!!!) Also, Ernie Hudson, who hasn't, in my opinion, made a bad career choice - ever!

Why oh why did this film pass British cinemas, when we get such dross as Renny Harlin's so called shark epic heading our way?

Fall Time (1995)

Such an underrated film.

[10/10 · 16 September 1999]

Fall Time was such an underrated film. I cannot believe that this film got the critical mauling that it did. Everything about it (save, maybe, for Sheryl Lee, who comes across as a bit hammy) is near perfect. The director, Paul Warner should be commended for pulling off a film with a decent Mickey Rourke performance, and, as an actor myself. If i ever get the chance to work with this director, it would be a dream come true. I'm so glad to see that he's got another film in the pipeline. Roll on it's release.