ajax_magnetoface Reviews

Onechanbara: The Movie (2008)

live action bikini cowgirl zombie killing! whats not to like?

[6/10 · 4 May 2008]

Who doesn't love the vastly successful Japanese video game The Oneechanbara? You got a hot sexy bikini cowgirl killing zombies? Add some extra characters for each iteration of the game series and its gets even better. (Im sure the new Wii version makes slicing zombies heads off all the more physically exertive so as to stay in physical parity with the main character who seems quite fit.

Now the plot of the video game is pretty slim to none, so the movie expands on this by adding SOME plot. Some back-story on the characters is good, as well as a motivation to kill zombies and why of course there ARE zombies running amok. But nowhere does anyone ever bother to mention why she is always wearing a bikini and cowboy hat. Perhaps there is a vague "Fistfull of Dollars"/"Galaxy Express 999" reference here, but still, for those of us probing the sartorial functions of Oneechanbara's battle dress, I guess we should just sit back and enjoy it without asking such pointless questions.

The film action then is very much like the game action and therefore lots of fun. The fight scenes are the highlights and really shine. The pathos and drama are pretty standard but necessary. The whole picture tho is quite low budget and lacking any sort of quality acting talent. I believe the main actress was either a DVD pinup idol or a soft core porn star, so we'll just say she's got a good future if the movie turns franchise. Maybe they'll explain more in a sequel. In the meantime, hell, she's a hot zombie killing bikini girl! Take that Milla Jovovich!

Candy (1968)

i laughed alot, really...

[4 October 2002]

I thought I'd seen all the wacky 60's post-code anti-establishment satires, but strangely never heard of this film until recently. It starts off great, with Richard Burton (McPhisto) with wind constantly blowing thru his hair no matter where he happens to be, squaring off with John Astin as Candy's square father Mr. Christian. Expect tons of name puns like that, and way loads of social satire against all the 6 food groups of establishment authority figures (Military, Doctors, Beaurocrats, Teachers, Cops and Spiritual Healers) and see what they all have in common, namely hypocrisy and Candy.

This seems to be a sequel of sorts to The Magic Christian in not only author, but style and attitude as well. (Ringo Starr is coincidentally or purposely in both films). Its also reminiscent of Harold and Maude, O Lucky Man, Brewster Mcloud, Holy Mountain (okay, a tiny bit) and half a dozen other late 60's satirical and somewhat surreal comedies.

Who needs a linear plot when you have great social satire performed by top actors (Marlon Brando, James Coburn, Walter Matthau)? And Candy is as cute as the proverbial button to boot!

Great psychedelic soundtrack by The Byrds and others as well.

I'll buy the DVD (if its out yet) and file it next to my copies of "Beyond The Valley of the Dolls" and the Monkees' "Head"

Spirited Away (2001)

good old fashioned kids movie

[10/10 · 26 August 2002]

I just got the HK DVD (japanese with english subtitles) of this and compared to all of the Miyazaki films, this is a small departure but excellent in all new ways.

Usually Miyazaki has strong lead female characters, but Chihiro (Sen) is quite shy and weak, but transforms which is exactly the point of the movie. It's a great teaching film for kids and never gets heavy moralistic or filled with tacked-on adult issues. Its about being pushed and accepting the challenge and dealing with hardship in a noble way.

Its also got a good amount of scary stuff thrown in, which I recall, made my childhood stories all that more better (Slovenly Peter and Beatrix Potter and Roald Dahl scared the bejeezus out of me as a kid). Scary yes, but once adjusted, the frightening spirit world which the small girl Sen is suddenly trapped in contains very human-esque monsters, and cute critters as well for laughs. I like the concept in the story that the sprit world inhabitants are repulsed by humans and are more scared of Sen than Sen is of these monsters.

We know that Miyazaki aint pulling any punches when dealing with kids stories. No sappy Disney crap here. People bleed, die and suffer in Miyazaki's films, but like any good epic adventure, suffering builds character and creates strong-willed and sophisticated people out of mere children.

Sen is an amazing fantasy. You are sucked in almost immediately and really identify with the protagonist, who must figure out how to survive and eventually escape back to her own world. Its surrealism to the highest level in the definition of being dreamlike. Its a vivid dream you'll remember for days if not a lifetime.

The Carrier (1988)

one of the best of horror films

[9/10 · 26 August 2002]

has my all-time favorite non-sequitor movie line... which is "Give us your cats, we have red objects!"

I watched hundreds of horror films (4 a night) in the 80s and this stood out in the top 5 for originality and great cheesey scriptwriting.