Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara, Dr. Linksano, Harvey Finevoice

Quotes 

• Linkara : Last time, the Thing decided that, instead of trying to infect and absorb all life on Earth, it wants to settle down, get married, maybe raise a family in New Zealand. As such, it has infected this woman, Jenny, and has spent most of her free time, educating her about stuff she should already know now, because she is the exact same alien we've seen in a movie and two miniseries, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW THAT WORKED IN THOSE! But no! Instead, she proceeds to have sex with her Thing boyfriend and is totally cool with eating people to survive. Much like the Thing itself has with this entire idea of eating people, Jenny has been infected with something far deadlier than any alien shapeshifter: the retcon virus! She has retconned herself into not giving a damn about her own humanity or the humanity around her and is just going to go into alleyways in her underwear so she can spring on unsuspecting people with her evil purple tentacles. Fortunately for the fine drunken assholes of Wallace Harbour, MacCready has come singlehandedly to deal with the Thing infestation, finally fully embracing his action hero persona he adopted from the last two miniseries. I fully expect him at some point to torch the Thing, then grin and proclaim...

  [cut to a clip of "True Lies", showing Arnold Schwarzenegger as Harry Tasker] 

  Harry Tasker : You're fired.