Community (TV Series)

VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing (2014)

Joel McHale: Jeff Winger

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Annie Edison : It's settled. The urinals in the women's restroom will be turned into planters. Onto chores. We need some able bodies to clear out a space in the east hall storage room.

  Jeff Winger : I'll do it.

  Britta Perry : Really?

  Jeff Winger : Yeah, Annie always goes from the easiest chores to the hardest.

  Shirley Bennett : That's true, isn't it? I'll do it too.

  Professor Hickey : Me too.

  Annie Edison : Okay, that concludes this meeting.

  Shirley Bennett : Oh!

  Jeff Winger : Aw, man!

  Annie Edison : Nobody picks up on my patterns. What am I gonna say next? Graham cracker! You didn't know.

  Jeff Winger : Hey, it's the 'aww' couple!

  [Abed and Rachel come in] 

  Annie Edison , Britta Perry , Shirley Bennett : Aww.

• Abed Nadir : Rachel and I have been dating for one of your months, but our relationship is 12 times more efficient, so it's really been a year. Our sleep cycles are in synch, we can communicate with our eyebrows, and she knows my Netflix password... Jeff's Netflix password.

  Jeff Winger : Damn it. I'm changing that.

  Abed Nadir : I changed that.

  Jeff Winger : To what?

  Abed Nadir : Nice try.

• Shirley Bennett : Why are there books in an air duct?

  Jeff Winger : Why is there hot sauce in the bathroom? It's Greendale.

• Shirley Bennett : We've been through some stuff. But we learned something.

  Professor Hickey : No, we didn't.

  Shirley Bennett : We learned that sometimes there's no lesson.

  Jeff Winger : How is that learning?

• Jeff Winger : Let's just calm down and have a slow, pleasant chat about possibilities.

  Shirley Bennett : What kind?

  Jeff Winger : All kinds. Anything is possible. We might one day have hover cars. Kale might be poisonous. And we might not have to get the Dean involved here.

  Shirley Bennett : Jeffrey, these are stolen!

  Jeff Winger : From who? By who? How long ago?

  Professor Buzz Hickey : It's "from whom," "by whom." But he nailed the third question.

• Shirley Bennett : I can't let you leave until we're done with this deal.

  Jeff Winger : [Being tied up]  Shirley, this is not what God wants you to be doing today!