Seeing Carina break down was so heartbreaking. Carina is so in love with Maya. She can't stand the thought of losing her and you could tell how relieved she was, when Vic told her that they'll get through this. She needed to hear Diane tell her that Maya isn't doing this just for her job anymore. Carina is so used to losing the people she loves. She's used to being put aside. To hear that her wife is making her a priority, that she's working to make things better, that she's being put first; it's something Carina has never known.
Maya's healing journey this season has been nothing short of powerful.
The fact that she confessed to the team about what she'd done, confided in Ben that she's afraid of losing Carina, and that she feels deep regret for what she gave Beckett. All these steps show that she is more than ready, to allow herself to feel all the emotions instead of pushing them away.
Maya saying that she felt like she was winning when she gave Beckett the alcohol really shows just how sick she was when she did it and also just how far she has come. She is able to identify that how she felt then is the same way she felt when she won.
Maya is growing. She is putting in the work. She was willing to go to the chief knowing the consequences that could unfold. Knowing she could lose her job because her guilt was eating her alive. Maya is very much human. Her mental health journey is very much human.
Setting is important here. Maya's sitting in the kitchen, alone, with her messages to Carina open. The guilt, the battery acid in her gut? She sitting with it. Silently. Moving through the pain, regret and shame. She's giving her emotions space to be felt. The bottle was the culmination of 6 months of hazing on top of decades of suppressed abuse. That Maya feels so guilty, that she is taking responsibility for Beckett's actions not just her own, regardless of what led her there, shows the depth of her growth and healing.
"I'm a monster." I'm so glad this scene exists and Ben challenged her on this. Maya did something awful. And she is deeply remorseful. She has the heart for it, the heart to apologize to someone who also hurt her. A monster? She doesn't even realize how good she actually is.
Maya's healing journey this season has been nothing short of powerful.
The fact that she confessed to the team about what she'd done, confided in Ben that she's afraid of losing Carina, and that she feels deep regret for what she gave Beckett. All these steps show that she is more than ready, to allow herself to feel all the emotions instead of pushing them away.
Maya saying that she felt like she was winning when she gave Beckett the alcohol really shows just how sick she was when she did it and also just how far she has come. She is able to identify that how she felt then is the same way she felt when she won.
Maya is growing. She is putting in the work. She was willing to go to the chief knowing the consequences that could unfold. Knowing she could lose her job because her guilt was eating her alive. Maya is very much human. Her mental health journey is very much human.
Setting is important here. Maya's sitting in the kitchen, alone, with her messages to Carina open. The guilt, the battery acid in her gut? She sitting with it. Silently. Moving through the pain, regret and shame. She's giving her emotions space to be felt. The bottle was the culmination of 6 months of hazing on top of decades of suppressed abuse. That Maya feels so guilty, that she is taking responsibility for Beckett's actions not just her own, regardless of what led her there, shows the depth of her growth and healing.
"I'm a monster." I'm so glad this scene exists and Ben challenged her on this. Maya did something awful. And she is deeply remorseful. She has the heart for it, the heart to apologize to someone who also hurt her. A monster? She doesn't even realize how good she actually is.
