Porkchop II: Rise of the Rind (2011) User Reviews

Something for everyone, unless they're lame

[emilykyle-21180 · 6/10 · 25 March 2018]

Do you like boobs and poor sound design? You'll love this movie. Watch it now, don't bother to continue reading. Do you NOT like that stuff? You are a LIAR. You love it. You also probably love random musical numbers, gratuitous fake violence/gore, and creepy creepy teachers that look like out of work magicians. Have a few shots and enjoy. NOTE: I took off two stars because despite all it's beautiful cinematography and solid performances, it's wildly homophobic and two characters have intercourse with pants on which is weird and unrealistic.

THIS IS HIS HOUSE

[nogodnomasters · 5/10 · 24 July 2018]

This is the typical lame sequel to the brilliant first film. I don't think this was the intention. New family moves into killer's old farm home. Kids have sex in the woods and get killed.

In comparison to the first film: More killings, more nudity, less humor, less footage. Same bad sound system. The best joke was that Teddy who was a small white male accused of homosexuality in the first feature is now played by a large obese African-American openly gay male.

Guide: F-bomb, sex, nudity. (Lauren Landers, Kaylee Williams, Elle Xohmbeah, Penny Maple)

Mindless indie slasher sequel

[Leofwine_draca · 2/10 · 17 November 2017]

PORKCHOP II: RISE OF THE RIND is an indie horror sequel of the typical slasher in the woods variety. I haven't seen the original film so I can't comment, but what I can say is that watching this film is an almost entirely worthless experience. The opening sequence manages to feature lesbian sex, gratuitous nudity, and outrageous gore before the film subsequently moves into the usual slow character building and the like. Some intermittently gory moments follow on. This is the kind of film that finishes just as it starts to get going, and you really have seen it all before.

Everything's wasted time again.

[keeperofthefates · 1/10 · 6 July 2015]

The beautiful picture quality and semi decent humor based plot is marred by the twangy two note banjo music used to cover the fact that the sound in the film was trash. Because of this it suffers heavy over scoring the takes all mood away from the scenes and leaves you bored three minutes into the film. Some of the effects looked like they may have been really good but one could hardly tell for sure with the camera angles controlled by the fear that something might not go off exactly right with somethings happening just at the cameras edge. Acting is atrocious in parts, between lack luster sarcastic quips by the bullies and very two dimensional I am a stuck up snob facial expressions and tones of voice from all of the girls accept for the Meg character whose looks were spot on while her delivery lacked at times. The blue light special I'm having sex with the trashiest in girl in high school(Though clearly the actors were much older) in a sleeping bag scene reeked of too much thought involved for what it was while the performance of it was very much We had to get falling down drunk for 5 hours to shoot this one sex scene between a redneck goof and no talent actress with the body of a twelve year old boy making even the common place breast shots of slasher films fall flat, no pun intended, but it's funny that it fits. All in all the movie had potential that it simply fell short of in every way that would make it 90 minutes of watchable entertainment. Sadly I got suckered into it's sequel as well, told that the whole 3D thing was wonderful only to regret losing those hours of my life as well. When it comes to this series -Don't waste your time.

Enjoyable backwoods slasher schlock

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 14 May 2013]

Burly redneck psycho Porkchop (hulking Ron Cobb) bumps off a bunch of obnoxious teenagers who are foolish enough to venture into his neck of the woods. Writer/director Eamon Hardiman does a solid and satisfying job of covering all the pleasingly trashy body count basics: A funny array of colorful hick characters, copious nasty graphic gore, a handy helping of yummy gratuitous female nudity, several brutal murder set pieces, an amusing sense of shameless lowbrow humor, and grating adolescents marking themselves for doom by smoking weed and having sex (all-time classic line: "Lets go in the woods and *beep*!"). Moreover, Hardiman tosses in a gloriously absurd and unexpected musical number (!) for good ridiculous measure. Sam Qualiana makes for an engaging central protagonist as amiable nerd Simon, Angela Pritchett brings an appealingly quirky charm to her role as sweet oddball Meg, Brian Gunnoe contributes a lively turn as hearty hillbilly Burt Fleming, and Kaylee Williams cranks up the sexy something delicious as vapid bimbo Heather. The crisp cinematography by Hardiman and Mark Totten gives the picture a neat polished look. The ominous score by Andrea Anderson and James B. Taylor IV hits the shivery spot. The cool rocking soundtrack likewise smokes. The tight 71 minute running time ensures that this movie doesn't overstay its welcome. An entertaining sliver of prime giddy junk.