2 Broke Girls (TV Series)

And Strokes of Goodwill (2011)

Kat Dennings: Max Black

Photos 

Quotes 

• Han Lee : Max, I'm talking to you.

  Max Black : Oh, I didn't hear you I have my earbuds in.

  Han Lee : [Picks up earbuds from off the table]  What are these?

  Max Black : Ok you had to bust a move and get all "the truth" on my ass fine let's go there. Han, I'm never gonna be your Facebook friend.

• Max Black : Unbelievable!

  Caroline Channing : What?

  Max Black : Hey!

  [Throws menus down on table in front of them] 

  Max Black : How you guys doing? Cute Strokes tee! Probably look better on me considering it's mine!

  Puerto Rican Girl : You snooze, you lose. Puta.

  Max Black : Nice language! You kiss your obviously closeted boyfriend with that mouth? You know what, I wouldn't even want it now. Now that it's been on you it might as well have been a Kenny G shirt.

  [Makes explosion noise while miming an explosion in her crotch] 

  Max Black : And now I walk.

• Max Black : [Mocking Caroline in a deep voice]  Those are not extensions bitch!

  Caroline Channing : Are you still laughing 'cause it wasn't funny.

  Max Black : It was so funny; It was like Looney Toons funny; It was like Bugs Bunny getting shot in the face funny. Only in your version Bugs Bunny tries to have a dialogue with the shotgun.

• Caroline Channing : Hi, I'll be right with you.

  [Purposely spills a bowl of Borscht on the Puerto Rican Girl] 

  Puerto Rican Girl : [Yelling]  Idiota! Esta camiseta me costo cuatro dolares!

  Caroline Channing : Lo siento. Toda es mi culpa. I'm still a little clumsy; it's my first week. I'll bring you some soda water, but seriously, your boyfriend will come out before that Borscht stain does.

  Max Black : That was awesome!

• [first lines] 

  Caroline Channing : Max, a woman in my section want to know if we do anything gluten-free. What do I tell her?

  Max Black : Tell her she's not allergic to gluten. She's just masking an eating disorder.

• Max Black : Stop fighting it; just give in to it. I don't know why I'm quoting a rapist...

• Max Black : Hey, when you find something check the pockets for pills. At a thrift store downtown I found a purple one once and took it. Fell asleep for eight hours! That was my vacation that year.

• Caroline Channing : Umm didn't you see me crying?

  Max Black : Lots of people cry at Goodwill. You go to France you eat snails; you come here you cry.

  Caroline Channing : That's odd, you didn't even react. You need to react when people cry.

  Max Black : I did I rolled my eyes. Look, eventually you'll learn to do that on the inside.

• Johnny : [about to hop over the bar to stop the fight between Caroline and the Tough White Chick]  I should really break this up. I should break this up.

  Max Black : [Stopping Johnny]  No, no, no! Give her like four seconds to learn her lesson.

• Caroline Channing : Why didn't you show up? You told me you were going to be there.

  Max Black : I had a lot of crap to do.

  Caroline Channing : Well you gave me the impression you were going.

  Max Black : I gave you the impression? I don't do impressions. Well wait that's not true I do one, my mom, but to do that I need; a Christmas tree, a gallon of vodka, and a lit cigarette.

• Caroline Channing : Did you walk my horse today?

  Max Black : Yeah and every other morning.

  Caroline Channing : That's so sweet I wish I had known.

  Max Black : What was I gonna do post it on your Facebook wall? Hi, walked your horse again today totes gross. Besides who did you think was doing it?

• Caroline Channing : You need to react when people cry.

  Max Black : I did, I rolled my eyes.

• Johnny : [while holding two shots in his hands]  These are from the gentleman with a sweet note.

  [to Caroline while placing one shot in front of her] 

  Johnny : Nice ass.

  [to Max while placing the other shot in front of her] 

  Johnny : Nice rack.

  Caroline Channing : [Max and Caroline take their shots] 

  [Very high pitched] 

  Caroline Channing : Whoooo!

  Max Black : If that's your tequila noise, god knows what your orgasm sounds like.