Family Guy (TV Series)

Be Careful What You Fish For (2012)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Carter Pewterschmidt, Glenn Quagmire, Captain Seamus, Tom Tucker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dolphin : [to Peter]  I'm gonna ask one more question and don't take this the wrong way, but have you actually got a penis?

  Peter Griffin : Yes.

  Dolphin : Where... where is it?

  Peter Griffin : Where is it? It's in there.

  Dolphin : Are you sure? So it's like Mr. Snuffleupagus, is it?

  Peter Griffin : Aw, the hell with this. Lois, get the ruler, we're measuring again.

• Brian Griffin : [when he stops by Stewie's daycare]  Hey, Stewie. How's it going?

  Stewie Griffin : Brian, what are you doing here?

  Brian Griffin : Came by to check on my pal. Where's, uh, Miss Emily?

  Stewie Griffin : I haven't seen her yet today. She gave me the keys to open up when she left yesterday. I thought you said you were gonna talk to her.

  Brian Griffin : I did, a-and she's doing her best, you know? She's got a lot on her plate. She's got school, she's got work...

  Stewie Griffin : This is her work!

• Stewie Griffin : [when he finds out Brian is interested in Miss Emily]  You're disgusting.

  Brian Griffin : Hey, I'm sorry, but Miss Emily and I have a connection which is totally unexpected. And by the way, I actually think she's doing a pretty good job. She's teaching you guys independence.

  Stewie Griffin : We're one! Independence means we die!

• Brian Griffin : [When Stewie comes home from daycare with one of his arms hanging limply and dragging along the floor]  Stewie, what's going on? Aren't you supposed to be at day care?

  Stewie Griffin : I escaped.

  Brian Griffin : What happened to your arm?

  Stewie Griffin : I finally stood up for all of us and told Miss Emily we should be given a proper lunch and not just what's left over from her Baja Fresh, and she said I shouldn't raise my voice and pulled me really hard into the other room, and my arm came out of its socket.

  Brian Griffin : Are you sure? Are you sure you didn't just sleep on it funny?

  Stewie Griffin : Does this look like I slept on it funny? I'm gonna tell Mom! Mom!

  Brian Griffin : [stops Stewie]  You are not going anywhere. I finally have a date with Miss Emily tomorrow and I'm not gonna let you or anybody else get in my way until I have seen every inch of her naked.

  Stewie Griffin : Do you even hear yourself? And what am I supposed to do about my arm?

  Brian Griffin : I'll just pop it back in.

  Stewie Griffin : You most certainly will not! I need to go to a hospital.

  Lois Griffin : [off-screen]  Brian, is Stewie in there with you?

  Stewie Griffin : Mom!

  [Brian grabs Stewie, putting his hand over his mouth as he rips a page out of his book and stuffs it in his mouth] 

  Brian Griffin : We're in here, Lois. He's napping.

  [to Stewie] 

  Brian Griffin : Relax. I'm gonna pop it back in.

  [grabs Stewie's arm and starts to pop Stewie's shoulder back in place as Stewie screams into the wad of paper. Stewie pulls free from Brian after a few seconds and tries to crawl away, but Brian grabs him again and continues to try to pop Stewie's shoulder back in place] 

  Brian Griffin : Get in there! C... come on! Hold still, Stewie!

  [Brian grabs his book and uses it to pop Stewie's arm back into place, Stewie spits the paper out and coughs as he rubs his arm] 

  Stewie Griffin : I'm not saying I like pain, but I'm not saying I don't like it either.

• Stewie Griffin : [after Brian has Miss Emily arrested]  Man, when she gets to jail, she's gonna be major lez-chow.

  Brian Griffin : She sure is, Stewie. She sure is.

• Dolphin : Ah. Hello, Joanne.

  Joanna Finn : Billy? What are you doing here?

  Peter Griffin : He's here because he loves you and he wants to patch things up. Hey, how come you ain't got boobs? You like a runner or something?

• Peter Griffin : Tricia Takanawa? What are you doing here?

  Tricia Takanawa : Peter, I'm standing here on your front porch, hoping to kill that dolphin with this harpoon.

• Miss Emily : [to Brian]  I should probably go back in there, see how everyone's doing, I guess .

  Brian Griffin : Ah, they're fine. In fact, I see Stewie reading a book.

  Stewie Griffin : Scratch-and-sniff "Lindsay Lohan Goes Jogging."

  [looks at the book] 

  Stewie Griffin : Oh, God! That's terrible!

  [picks up another book] 

  Stewie Griffin : Oh, here's a pop-up book: "Tommy Lee Goes Boating."