Psych (TV Series)

Last Night Gus (2011)

James Roday Rodriguez: Shawn Spencer

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Quotes 

• Karen Vick : Detective Lassiter, why are you wearing sunglasses in an autopsy?

  Shawn Spencer : Chief, if I may, Lassie spoke to us all about a week ago about wearing sunglasses to all autopsies moving forward to show respect for the dead. I simply forgot. Gus refused because he has no value for human life.

• Woody the Coroner : [Has spent the night spooning Lassiter]  Calm down, Peaches. Come back to bed.

  Carlton Lassiter : [Startled]  Whatever you think happened last night didn't happen because nothing happened, you got it?

  Shawn Spencer : That's nice, Lassie. Way to belittle the man.

  Woody the Coroner : Yeah, Detective, I do have feelings.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : What is all over your face?

  Woody the Coroner : [Wipes it]  Yeah I can't be sure. Oh god, you didn't see a small Colombian with a hook for an arm did you?

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : No.

• Carlton Lassiter : Obviously, we knew the victim.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Well, we all knew the victim, but you were the one who shot him.

  Carlton Lassiter : You had the dead guy's phone.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Shawn was wearing the man's sandals.

  Shawn Spencer : Huh, I was hoping you guys didn't notice that.

  Woody the Coroner : Look, I don't care if we did kill this guy, I'm just happy to be a part of it.

• Carlton Lassiter : [Thinks he killed a man]  I think I'm going to turn myself in.

  Shawn Spencer : What, for spooning with Woody?

  Woody the Coroner : We did nothing wrong.

• Woody the Coroner : [re: their test results]  Okay, first off, I didn't realize peote stayed in your system that many years. I have only myself and my then-girlfriend, Lollipop, to blame. Secondly, Guster, your cholesterol is really high.

  Shawn Spencer : Man, I told you eating something called "stick of butter in a bun" was a bad idea.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : I can't help it, Shawn. My body craves buttery goodness.

  Shawn Spencer : You're buttery.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : You know that's right.

  Woody the Coroner : Alright now, here's the skinny. We all had copious amounts of silvia divanorum in our system. It's a psychoactive herb that can cause hallucination and disassociative effects. We were all drugged at that bar.

  Carlton Lassiter : I knew it!

  Woody the Coroner : However, our victim had no trace of the drug at all. He was clean.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Why would someone spike our drink but not his?

  Carlton Lassiter : Well clearly someone was trying to take advantage of us sexually. Or at least me.

  Shawn Spencer : Not last night, Lassie.

  Burton 'Gus' Guster : Or this last decade.

  Shawn Spencer : I'm sensing that we were recipients of drugs that were intended for a pair of women.

  Carlton Lassiter : Alright. Let's hit that bar.

  Woody the Coroner : Yeah, let's shake 'em down.

  [Everyone looks at him] 

  Woody the Coroner : What? No shake down?

• Woody the Coroner : Hey guys.

  Shawn Spencer : Hey Woody.

  Woody the Coroner : When's the pinata coming out?

  Shawn Spencer : I don't know if there is a pinata. I don't think so.

  Woody the Coroner : Oh. I was told this was a party.

• Shawn Spencer : Lassie, I need you to look inwards. Take a swim in Lake You. See what you see. We can do this.

  Carlton Lassiter : Spencer, I can't survive without the facts. I don't know what happened last night. I've never lost control of my faculties in my life.

  Woody the Coroner : Me neither. Unless I'm being tickled. Then all bets are off.

  Shawn Spencer : What about me, fellahs? I'm not having any psychic visions. Flashbacks or recreation flashbacks. Or recreation flashbacks with new psychic visions! I mean imagine you weren't just a plain, gangly average human, huh?. That you could wink at someone and light up their world! That you could make a child think that you have given them an ice cream cone without giving them the cone! And then watch them skip off into a beautiful meadow licking nothing but air! Imagine that!