Meltdown (2009) Poster

(II) (2009)

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4/10
From the furthest depths of movie hell...
Agent1030 August 2021
Every now and then, there is a great auteur who comes onto the scene that shakes up the filmmaking world. Unfortunately Christopher J. Martin is not that man.

Where to begin with this film? The very term "vanity project" doesn't begin to describe this film, and all you need to hear is the list of accolades about the character John Thomas. He doesn't just have commendations and medals, he has all the commendations and medals. It's pretty impressive he got a Medal of Honor considering his eyes are always squinted and hair looks like it would cover his eyes. He has some pretty questionable taste in clothing, but that is not enough grounds to restrict him from such spectacular awards.

The foundation is simple...a local drug lord needs to be taken down, and Thomas is literally THE ONLY guy that can take down the head drug dealer aptly known as The Dragon. Anyway, Thomas infiltrates the group and gets to hang out with Crazy Eddie, played boisterously by Robert Z'Dar. Which can we say, absolutely brought all his heart and soul to the table for this piece of crap film being shot in Bay City, Michigan. What a professional.

Anyway, the story starts forgetting it's own premise and details and falls off the rails quickly. Thomas keeps contacting his colleagues. The story somehow mentions a past love affair with Thomas and Agent Preston, but they literally met for this job! A lot of things don't make sense with the plot, especially since everything is done with single takes even though this thing was shot on tape or digital or whatever.

I'm getting pretty tired of writing, so here comes the lightning round. Weird editing. Bizarre sound editing. Unbelievable fights and gun battles. A strange sense of loss when the bad guys die. Not to mention pretty horrendous lighting all throughout. What was this film?

Either way, way better than anything Neil Breen has ever done. Yeah I know what I said.
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This movie wants to be a lot...
axminster719 January 2019
I understand this is a low budget film with limited capabilities. But the thing I will never understand is why as a director you want to go all in with your first film. This film has action, crime, drama, romance, thriller, comedy, martial arts etc. Why so ambitious? Why you dive straight to dark waters?

This movie fails in every category. The performances are awful (the hero looks like Fred from Flintstones), the action is boring (mostly shooting) the music is cheap (free stock), the direction awful (the camera does weird movements) and the cringiest of all is when the movie wants to be cool and funny, as if it's a Tarantino movie)

BUT.... The movie is awesome! It is so entertaining to watch because of it's incapability and unintentional humor. It's definitely a "so bad it's good movie" like Neil Breen's movies. Worth seeing.
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10/10
Adventurous! Great Crime Movie! Let's support one another ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜Ž
mixmiller28 June 2019
Great Movie! Funny, Adventurous...I liked the bad guy character๐Ÿ™Œ He was good...a Good Actor. The beginning of the movie have me laughing. Nice casting on this film. Great to rewatch.
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7/10
Robert Z'dar and Charlie Sheen's Uncle!
lipsfan12 September 2020
This was a very bad flick, but you can make it better! I played a game with my buddy, we pretended we knew where the microphone was when recording everyone other than Browen Wilson(who wrote, directed, AND starred in this) Basically, every time he spoke, the dialogue was a lot clearer, but when someone else spoke, they had to have put the microphone on the outside of the door to the room that they were in. Very funny! Also, I really enjoyed the army of Slim Shadys with the duct tape showing from the squibs when they got shot. If you have liquor and some friends with you, this is a must. But only to laugh at and not pay much attention to. Robert Z'dar has some great lines and is always fun to watch. "Do I look like the kinda guy that would shoot you?" Don't expect much, it's a Departed ripoff, but if you squint your brain and just have it on in the background, you'll have some laughs.
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