The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification (2010)

Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Howard Wolowitz : Oh, look. It's Leonard and R2-D-bag.

  Raj Koothrappali : That's my joke; I told it last night. You can't just use it.

• Howard Wolowitz : I say we just take him to Tatooine and sell him to some Jawas.

  Raj Koothrappali : That's two, dude. Write your own jokes.

• [Sheldon has introduced his 'virtual presence device' to his friends] 

  Howard Wolowitz : [Raj whispers in his ear]  Really? That's your question, "When did he put a ramp in"?

• Howard Wolowitz : [Raj just whispered something to him]  You're right. Penny jogs, maybe you guys can run together.

  Sheldon Cooper : That's an excellent idea! Yeah, if we chat, it will create the illusion of time going faster.

  Penny : [unimpressed]  No, it won't.

• Howard Wolowitz : What do we owe you?

  Leonard Hofstadter : It came to $28.17 Let's say six bucks apiece.

  Howard Wolowitz : [as Howard and Raj hand money over to Leonard]  There you go.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Thank you.

  [Leonard looks at Penny who has a stunned look on her face] 

  Penny : What?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Never mind, I got it.

  Penny : Oh, you wanted me to pay.

  Leonard Hofstadter : It's no big deal.

  Penny : No, no, no, you're right, we're not going out anymore. I should pay for myself.

  [Raj whispers in Howard's ear, and they start laughing] 

  Penny : What?

  Howard Wolowitz : No, he, uh, He said if he had woman parts, he'd eat for free the rest of his life.

  Penny : Yeah, but you wouldn't be able to talk to yourself.

• Howard Wolowitz : [Raj whispers in Howard's ear]  You're right. Penny jogs. Maybe you guys can run together.

  Sheldon Cooper : That's an excellent idea! If we chat, it will create the illusion of time going faster.

  Penny : [unenthused]  No, it won't. Um... hey, how does he know I jog?

  Howard Wolowitz : Oh, he watches you from his car with high-powered binoculars.

  Penny : [disgusted]  Oh, my god! That is so creepy!

  Howard Wolowitz : [mimicking Penny's tone of voice]  I know!

  [Raj whispers in Howard's ear] 

  Howard Wolowitz : And he says he's not gonna stop.

  [freaked out, Raj whispers in his ear again] 

  Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, well, then see a shrink and figure out how to talk to women.

• Penny : What's my share?

  Leonard Hofstadter : 12 bucks.

  Penny : Can I get it to you after Friday, when I get paid?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sure

  Penny : What am I up to now?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Well, okay, with the Indian food, the pizza, the Thai food, the tank of gas, the frozen yogurt, and your rent, a little over $1400.

  [Raj whispers in Howard's ear and both giggle] 

  Penny : What now?

  Howard Wolowitz : He's just expressing his admiration that you don't even have to put out to get free stuff.

  Penny : It's not free. I'm going to pay him back.

  Penny : [Raj whispers into Howard's ear again and both giggle]  Shut up!