The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Pants Alternative (2010)
Kunal Nayyar: Raj Koothrappali
Quotes
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Sheldon : Problem.
Leonard : What?
Sheldon : They expect me to give a speech at the banquet. I can't give a speech.
Howard Wolowitz : No, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.
Raj Koothrappali : Yeah, before the movie you did 20 minutes on why guacamole turns brown. It turned brown while you were talking.
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Raj Koothrappali : OK, Sheldon, I'm going to be leading you through a series of meditation exercises. These methods come from the ancient gurus of India and have helped me overcome my own fears.
Sheldon : And yet you can't speak to women.
Raj Koothrappali : True, but thanks to meditation I'm able to stay in the same room with them without urinating.
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[first lines]
Raj Koothrappali : OK, in Avatar when they have sex on Pandora they hook up their ponytails, so we know their ponytails are like their junk.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, so?
Raj Koothrappali : So, when they ride horses and fly on their birds, they also use their ponytails.
Howard Wolowitz : What's your point?
Raj Koothrappali : My point is if I were a horse or a bird I'd be very nervous around James Cameron.
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Raj Koothrappali : Okay, Sheldon, I'm going to be leading you through a series of meditation exercises. These methods come from the ancient gurus of India and have helped me overcome my own fears.
Sheldon : And yet you can't speak to women.
Raj Koothrappali : But thanks to meditation I'm able to stay in the same room with them without urinating. Now, ahem, close your eyes.
Sheldon : Okay, but don't punch me... When I was little my sister would say: "Close your eyes, you'll get a surprise." And then she'd punch me.
Raj Koothrappali : I'm not going to punch you.
Sheldon : That's what my sister used to say.