Community (TV Series)
Romantic Expressionism (2010)
Chevy Chase: Pierce Hawthorne
Photos
Quotes
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Britta : Fine! I cared. I'm a girly girl. I like boys, and I don't like it when they're mean to me, and I don't like it when they stop kissing me and start kissing my friends, I'm not that cool, I'm not JUNO, homeslice.
Jeff Winger : This is what this was about for you? You were jealous?
Britta : Oh, please. You can't tell me you weren't jealous that Vaughn had his hippie hands all over your debate-slash-make-out partner.
Annie Edison : What are you insinuating? I took that kiss for the team!
Jeff Winger : What?... yeah. That kiss wasn't for pleasure, it was strategic and joyless.
Annie Edison : What?... yeah.
Troy : You did get weirdly specific describing Annie's body.
Jeff Winger : More specific than the stuff you told me about Britta?
Britta , Annie Edison : What?
Shirley Bennett : Does anyone get specific about me?
Pierce Hawthorne : Check your e-mail.
Shirley Bennett : I mark you as spam.
Pierce Hawthorne : Who the hell is Pam?
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Pierce Hawthorne : "Directed by Kim Yung." Asian. Can't direct, can't drive.
Señor Chang : Dude, I'm right here.
Abed : Right there.
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Annie Edison : Why are we even talking about this?
Jeff Winger : 'Cause you started having sex with Britta's ex-boyfriend.
Annie Edison : We haven't even kissed yet!
Pierce Hawthorne : That doesn't mean you're not having sex.
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Pierce Hawthorne : Change! Time to change the channel! This guy'll be begging for change soon, he keeps making movies this terrible! We should change to something good, this movie stinks! We should change his diaper. That's change we can believe in!
Abed : [Abed hits pause] Okay, it's obvious something strange is happening here.
Pierce Hawthorne : What are you talking about? I'm making jokes during a movie.
Troy : Yeah, but you're doing it with the speed and determination of the incomparable Robin Williams.
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Pierce Hawthorne : His songs are dumber than he is.
Jeff Winger : Yeah, but they're honest.
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[the director's credit for "Kickpuncher" is displayed]
Pierce Hawthorne : Directed by Kim Yang. Asian. Can't direct, can't drive.
Señor Chang : Dude, I'm right here.
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Troy : Pierce, you don't want to watch a cyborg movie in Abed's dorm. You want to lay on your twin bed and think about what you used to be.
Pierce Hawthorne : [offended] What? You think I'm too old to make monkeyshines at a picture show? Come on. I'm younger than the three of you put together.
[confusion crosses everyone's face]
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Pierce Hawthorne : Let's get to the movie.
[stammers]
Pierce Hawthorne : Oh, I'm sorry, Shirley. I'll wait if you want to serve beverages.
Shirley Bennett : You gonna be waiting a long-ass time.
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Pierce Hawthorne : Come on, guys. I'm starting to wonder if you even deserve to call yourselves a community college sketch comedy troupe. I told you, on movie night, I need to blow these punks out of the water. I need Phyllis Diller-grade stuff.
Mark Millot : Wouldn't you rather just watch a movie with your friends and have a good time?
Pierce Hawthorne : What are you, my third wife's therapist?
Linda : What if he said, "it's a good day for..." And you said, "for being gay"?
Pierce Hawthorne : [laughing] You're a genius.
Linda : [to Mark] He likes gay jokes.
Pierce Hawthorne : What?
Linda : I said we write great jokes.
Pierce Hawthorne : Don't flatter yourselves.
