The Castle (2022) Poster

(2022)

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2/10
A dull and generally underwhelming barely-horror feature
kannibalcorpsegrinder19 November 2022
Taking a road-trip together, a pair of newlyweds are forced to stay at a remote castle in the countryside when they're hit with car troubles, but the longer they stay there they soon come to believe someone or something is in the castle with them preparing them for a special occult ritual.

This was a pretty underwhelming genre effort. About the main positive here is the overall atmosphere of the castle where it takes place which is a nicely modernized take on an abandoned Gothic locale. Believing they're all alone in a remote location as a means of escaping the elements while they try to fix their car, this one feels rather appropriate to setup which comes about the longer they stay there as the confrontations that emerge with the hooded figure appearing and chasing her around the castle grounds. As this sets up the idea of whether or not it's all real until it's way too late, this provides a fine setup for the big sequence in their compound where they begin to torture her and her friend that provides some of the only gore in the film as the unnatural presence gives this the only likable qualities. However, beyond that, there's very little to this one that's enjoyable. The main drawback is a loose, rambling storyline that's never all that interesting with things seemingly happening randomly with little structure or care. Everything feels improvised and played out as if they just came up with it all on the spot based on the location. None of this comes close to explaining what the actual threat here really is with all this randomized nonsense involving the lame backstory for the newlyweds going on the trip, the strange relationship between the cult members that has a lot of questions and makes it all come off as if very little of this is genre-related in the slightest. Alongside the lack of anything visually impressive happening due to a generally cheap look, these factors bring this one down significantly.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language and Violence.
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3/10
The Castle
BandSAboutMovies11 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Kim (Khushi Parekh), Alicia (Shezi Sibongiseni, Terry (Tevin Kunene) and Mark (Shivaan Moodley) enter an old castle where they're soon attacked by masked figures. Then we meet Catherine (Rio Notra) and Michael (Arish Sirkissoon, who wrote and directed this), who have eloped and are on their way to their honeymoon. Well, Brad and Janet look out, because their car breaks down and they decide to walk to that very same castle and see if they can get some help.

As a wise Lone Star drinker once said, "We've seen it all before. But have we seen it all?"

This is a strange United Nations film in that it's an African production attempting to make a British 60s gothic horror film, which I'm all for. Unfortunately, it often gets way too talky in the place of mood. It also sets up tension between Catherine and her mother - who disowns her by text message! - but then the cultists keep saying that she's dead. Look, I'm all for being confused by gothic horror, but mostly I need a solid plot to start with.

That said - the film looks good and the location is great. It just needs a better story to work. But I'm still looking out for what Sirkissoon does next.
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1/10
Offensively Bad
aspireelectricaldarlington14 December 2022
I cannot stress how bad The Castle is and I watch a LOT of independent horror features.

The "Simply Amazing!" 10/10 review by user Arish Sirkissoon, look at the name of the writer and director of this movie......it's Arish Sirkissoon. He's not even hiding the fact he's shilling his own film. I do hate it when people do that, get over yourself and your movie! If it's genuinely good then let the viewers decide.

Awful acting, dreadful cinematography, a cringe inducing script, half the movie is simply filler and the rest is so generic and so unoriginal it's pitiful.

Embarrassing, everyone involved should hang their heads in shame.
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1/10
It's just...so bad
matthewmillerwriter17 August 2023
I am not sure where to even begin. It is offensive that people would produce this sort of amateur shlock and put it out there. The 10/10 review is obviously fake from someone who is involved with the film. The writing is comically bad. The acting is worse than a first year theatre student. The plot is unrealistic, stupid, and boring. The "castle" is just a nice, big house, not even a castle. All of the characters are one-dimensional, no, HALF-dimensional. It is offensively awful. If you want to spend your time more productively, then pluck your eyebrows out one by one: it will be much less painful than watching this piece of garbage.
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1/10
Painfully Dumb
icocleric28 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
So did you ever read "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" as a kid and think no one would ever be this dumb? This writer thought otherwise, and thought we could make a horror out of this. And tact on every 10 years this cult needs 2 virgin, and a family member for immortality!??

So this woman (and husband) goes up to this strange castle, and is all like oh I will run myself a bath. Or that's a loud knock on the door, oh I will now walk into this room, put on some night clothes, and lets spend the night. Hear noses in the night, let's go and look on my own... Oh that was a nightmare? Let's do it again!

Oh, and it's her husband all along. But at Like he could have pretended to have BOOKED a room at this place for our honeymoon and saved so many plot holes.

The acting is also incredibly bad. Like I watch a lot of independent films, but this was so dumb, and bad it was actually painful to watch. Like so bad the way the husband says oh you will meet my family sooner than you think, makes it seem like a none spoiler his family are at the castle.
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1/10
At least the writer/director thought it was good.
clivewarr-731662 January 2024
When one of the only10/10 reviews is from the writer/director of the movie and the majority of other reviews are 1-2/10 it doesn't take a genius to predict the whole will to be pretty dire. I won't give the plot away, just in case you enjoy low quality horror, but the plotline is laughable, acting is about the same level but at least it's less than 80 minutes long.

In their review, the writer/director is threatening a sequel...you have been warned!

Being a fan of the horror genre, I never cease to be amazed at the low quality of many such movies on the main streaming providers sites and can only assume that they are just a cheap way to fill the companie's catalogues of available material.
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10/10
Simply Amazing!
ArishSirkissoon26 November 2022
Simply Amazing!

A movie that was developed during trying times in South Africa. Dealing with Covid regulations, floods and strikes. This movie is a testement that anything can happen if you believe. Developed by Arish Sirkissoon and Dr Raj Singh this movie is a fun mix of horror and theatre. The movie is set up for a sequel and will take you on an interting journey through the minds of the creators. It's worth a watch and this psychological thriller will leave you with questions. We look forward to the sequel which will explore this cult more indepthly. A fun watch with twists and turns. Get ready for adventure.
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Worst film ever
gillianwalker-727154 January 2024
Its starts of with a group setting up camp in a forest, the best bit was the red chair. How where some in semi day light but everytime it showed one girl , it was dark

The Acting was truly cringeworthy, Michael may have been the worse, the rest weren't any better, storyline badly predictable , sound effects and lighting aweful.

The only good thing is its over, I hope rumours of a sequal is a joke.

I think a huge issue with this film is Arish sirkissoon He wrote it, directed , produced it ,he edited it, he did the sound design, the grading, Screen play, he acted in it. He needs to walk away Did I remember to say the credit chair was good?
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