It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis (2009)

Glenn Howerton: Dennis Reynolds

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlie Kelly : I knew that guy was full of shit! I knew it!

  Dennis Reynolds : What guy?

  Charlie Kelly : That lawyer guy, okay? He totally besmirched me today, and I demand satisfaction from him.

  Mac : You want him to bang you?

  Charlie Kelly : Uh. No, Mac. Be serious, okay? He slandered me in front of a jury of my own peers, all right? Look what they used to do when that sort of thing happened.

  [shows the gang a history book] 

  Charlie Kelly : Take a look at this picture. What do you see?

  Mac : I see two trannies shooting at each other.

  Charlie Kelly : No, dude. They're dueling, okay? These are lawyers settling an argument by dueling it out.

  Dennis Reynolds : Now, how do you know that the two trannies are lawyers?

  Charlie Kelly : [slams book]  'Cause it's an old book, okay? I don't have to explain everything to you about what I know! I'm trying to... get satisfied... from this dude... and you're trying to... I'm getting satisfied. I don't care.

• Dennis Reynolds : I'm Hugh Honey and this is my partner, Vic Vinegar. We're partners in real estate and we're partners in life.

• Dennis Reynolds : [pretending he and Mac are a gay couple]  I'm the breadwinner in the relationship.

  Mac : And I'm the trophy husband. He's my bottom.

  Dennis Reynolds : Oh! Well, I'm the power bottom. Technically, I generate most of the power.

  Mac : Only because I'm giving out so much power from the top.

• Dennis Reynolds : Look, okay. Absolutely, we could cave the husband's skull in here. Yes, we could take the wife down to the basement, have a frenzied free-for-all with her. We could tie the little kids up in their little rooms upstairs so they wouldn't hear any of it.

  Mac : Dennis, in that scenario, we'd have to kill the kids 'cause they've would've seen our faces.

  Dennis Reynolds : Right, we could smear the walls with their blood. Guys, there are any number of twisted scenarios that could play out here. But I think the easiest thing, really, is to just go get the deed.

  Charlie Kelly : Right. Why get weird?