Caribbean Basterds is proof positive that director Enzo G. Castellari can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Unfortunately, the Italian director has been handed three times as many sow's ears as silk purses. Caribbean Basterds is one of those soft core porn efforts designed for late night cable. The script by Sandro Cecca and Luca Biglione (with tweaking by Castellari and others)is a combination of genre clichés and unpleasant sexuality (incest, rape, etc.).The son and daughter of an arms dealer hook up with a local thug and become pirates of a sort. After a series of rapes and robberies, they break into a mansion and steal a fortune in coke. This angers the local drug kingpin who sends his army of gunmen to eradicate them. The three leads are all buff and beautiful. Because the picture was shot in English, they also struggle with the simplest lines. The picture is essentially a beautiful people in beautiful places piece with abundant nudity and sex. It plays much longer than its 90 minute running time. The script's central trope is A Clockwork Orange, but several other movies are referenced including Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Even Castellari fans will find this stinker tough sledding. You have better things to do.
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