Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)

Everybody Hates Bomb Threats (2009)

Paul Ben-Victor: Coach Thurman

Quotes 

• Coach Thurman : [to Chris]  You got a way with words which would be a good thing if this was you-got-a-way-with-word-ology!

• Coach Thurman : [to Chris]  Do you know William Henry Harrison?

  Chris : Yeah, wasn't he that guy who cleaned up that woman in "My Fair Lady"?

  Coach Thurman : No, that was Rex Harrison.

  Chris : Oh.

  Coach Thurman : William Henry Harrison was the ninth President of the United States and he gave the longest inaugural address in history. And guess what?

  Chris : What?

  Coach Thurman : Since you like to talk so much, you are gonna memorize that speech!

  Chris : But I have to study for finals.

  Coach Thurman : Not if you don't get that speech memorized because if you don't, you're gonna get suspended! And then you won't be here to take final exams! You got a mama joke for that?

  Narrator : If I tell it, I'll get suspended right now.

• Coach Thurman : Chris, did you learn the speech?

  Chris : No. Yeah.

  Coach Thurman : No! Good. Now take a seat. And don't ever talk in my class again.

  Narrator : Huh?

  Chris : Huh? You don't want me to recite it?

  Coach Thurman : Recite it? Did I say you had to recite it? No! I said for you to memorize it! Maybe if you spent more time listening and less time talking, you might have heard me correctly.

  Chris : But I worked my butt off learning this speech.

  Narrator : What are you doing, fool? Sit down!

• Coach Thurman : You know, it's interesting, isn't it? Sometimes to get people to do things, we have to threaten to do something, we really have no intention of doing.

  Narrator : Later on, North Korea would follow the same advice and get billions of dollars in foreign aid.