Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)

Everybody Hates Homecoming (2008)

Vincent Martella: Greg Wuliger

Quotes 

• Chris : Greg, get up. I mean, I know getting kicked out of the Bronx Academy sucked, but things can work out.

  Greg Wuliger : It's easy for you to say. You're not the one with the miserable life.

  Narrator : What show have you been on for the last three years?

• Chris : Greg, what happened?

  Greg Wuliger : I got fishnapped.

  Chris : You okay?

  Greg Wuliger : No, I'm not okay. I spent the last three hours in the back of a van with a giant fish suit on me with guys trying to force-feed me worms.

  Narrator : I hope that wasn't a metaphor.

• Chris : [to Greg]  Just calm down.

  Greg Wuliger : No, you calm down. Go to your stupid homecoming dance with your stupid date and stop trying to pretend you understand me 'cause you don't, okay, pop star? The only thing you can do for me is to kiss my white...

  [Caruso knocks him to the ground] 

  Joey Caruso : Way to lose homecoming, tadpole.

  Narrator : I'm glad Caruso punched him because it would have ruined our friendship if I had had to do it myself.

• Greg Wuliger : [to Chris]  Dude, you're going to the homecoming dance?

  Chris : I guess so.

  Greg Wuliger : Great. My life sucks and what do you do? You make it suck worse.

  Chris : What, do you want me to stay at home and have a sucky night too so you can feel better?

  Greg Wuliger : Yeah. That's what friends are for.

  [walks off] 

  Narrator : With friends like that, who needs enemies?

• Chris : [when he sees Greg leaving school]  Greg, where you going?

  Greg Wuliger : I'm out of here. I just don't fit in anymore. I can't come back to this. At the Bronx Academy, I was somebody.

  Narrator : Yeah, you were the guy who got kicked out.

• Chris : Greg, I'm getting tired of your complaining. I've been getting knocked down for years and you don't see me whining. I just get up and dust myself off.

  Greg Wuliger : Of course you do, you're black. You overcame slavery, lynchings and racism. You know how to deal with suffering. I'm a white guy. I'm supposed to have it easy.

  Chris : Greg, right now, I'm standing up the most perfect girl in the world. Her family is amazing. They clapped when I entered. They laughed at everything I said. They gave me sweet potato pops. They even gave me this sweater. This sweater cost more than our car. Her parents are a lawyer and a doctor. Last time I saw a lawyer and a doctor together was when my uncle went to the hospital for a routine checkup and came out dead, so if you don't get your harmonica-playing, hole-in-the-sock-wearing, woe-is-me, I-should-have- everything-easy behind up, I'm gonna smack the cracker out of you.