Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)

Everybody Hates Being Cool (2008)

Chris Rock: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : At 15, I was sick of being a nerd. When you're a nerd, people you want to pay attention to you ignore you, and the people you wish would ignore you, pay attention.

• Narrator : Takes a brave man to choose a coat over a woman.

• Chris : Tell me why they don't go to school, and they don't work, but they have great cars and great girls?

  Narrator : Because they're criminals.

  Greg Wuliger : Those are the kids from the arcade. We can't be like them. I mean, those kids have either been suspended, expelled or dropped out of school.

  Narrator : When you're old, that makes you a loser, but when you're young, it gives the illusion of cool.

• Narrator : Even though I had the keys to being cool, Greg was locked into being a square.

• Chris : [When Chris and Greg use cigarettes to make themselves look cool]  All right, let's make a pact. If either one of us gets caught by the teacher, we don't rat out the other, deal?

  Greg Wuliger : Deal.

  [scene cuts to Ms. Morello catching Greg with the cigarette] 

  Greg Wuliger : Chris gave it to me.

  Ms. Morello : Chris? I am so disappointed in you. I know that nicotine, pork rinds and malt liquor are the black man's vices.

  Narrator : You forgot white women.

  Ms. Morello : But why infect Gregory?

  Chris : Because I wanted to be cool.

  Narrator : Now I just feel like a fool.

• Ms. Morello : Well, I'm sorry, Chris, but you're suspended.

  Narrator : When my parents found out, I was finally going to be cool. Cool as a corpse.

• Narrator : [When Chris shows up at school during his suspension]  Getting suspended from school was hard, but figuring out what I was gonna do with my day was harder.

  Greg Wuliger : Hey, man, what are you doing here?

  Chris : I had nowhere else to go.

  Greg Wuliger : You're not still mad at me, are you?

  Chris : Yeah, actually, I am. You ratted me out.

  Greg Wuliger : I'm torn about it, man. Please don't make me feel any worse than I already am.

  Chris : Why did you cave so fast?

  Greg Wuliger : My therapist says I'm bad under pressure. I'm just not cool.

  Narrator : No kidding.