Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)

Everybody Hates Gretzky (2008)

Tyler James Williams: Chris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Drew : This doesn't look like Long Island.

  Chris : It's not. This is Coney Island.

  Narrator : If this was "Survivor", I would vote Drew off the island.

• Chris : [to Drew]  I can't believe you got on the wrong bus.

  Drew : You got on it too.

  Chris : I was just following you, stupid. Don't you know the difference between Coney Island and Long Island?

  Drew : Yeah, Long Island is the shape of your head.

• Chris : [When Drew plans to skip school to get Wayne Gretzky's autograph]  You can't go off by yourself.

  Drew : Yes, I can.

  Chris : Know where you're going?

  Drew : No.

  Chris : Got money? What about school?

  Drew : No. What about it?

  Chris : Did you even think about Ma?

  Drew : No.

  Chris : She's gonna kill you when she finds out.

• Narrator : I was in a no-win situation. The only thing worse than going with Drew was letting him go by himself. Either way, if something happened, I was responsible.

  Chris : [to Drew]  Hold on, man. I'm coming with you.

  Narrator : Can't blame me if we both die.

• Chris : [to Drew]  So what's the plan?

  Drew : I don't have a plan.

  Chris : Do you even know where Gretzky is?

  Drew : The Long Island Wilmont Hotel.

  Chris : And you think you can walk right up to the room and get an autograph?

  Drew : I haven't thought that far ahead.

  Chris : You haven't thought this far ahead.

• Drew : This is taking forever.

  [to Chris] 

  Drew : How long is this ride?

  Chris : How am I supposed to know? Didn't you check before you got on the bus?

  Drew : Hey, man, calm down.

  Chris : No, I'm not gonna "calm down." I don't think you understand how much trouble we're gonna be in. I'm not even talking about Ma anymore. You know what's gonna happen when they realize we're not in school?

  Drew : What's the big deal? You always say that they never pay attention to you in school anyway.

  Narrator : Drew had a point. Besides Greg, there was only one person who would care if I wasn't in school.

  [Scene cuts to Chris' school where Greg is walking down the hallway; Caruso punches him] 

  Joey Caruso : Morning, shoeshine.

  Greg Wuliger : I'm not black. Why'd you do that?

  Joey Caruso : I don't know where Chris is.

• Chris : [to Drew]  What do you know about Gretzky?

  Drew : Well, I know he's a season all-time assist leader, his mom loves soup, and he has a sandwich named after him called "The Great One."

  Chris : What's in it?

  Drew : Mm, Canadian bacon, maple syrup, oh, and a pickle. Oh, and it comes in a bun shaped like a hockey stick.

  Chris : Sounds awful.

  Drew : I never had one. It was invented by this chef named Jean Lafleur.

  Chris : [scoffs]  Man, you know way too much stuff about this guy, Drew.