I agree with jewel5's review, I had not seen Lee Horsley in anything since he did the series "Paradise", He was a very popular actor in the 1980's. He had the starring role in " Sword and the Sorcerer", and I thought this was a sequel to his character "Talon". I was totally wrong about that, he had a very small cameo role and was listed as "The Stranger"?? This movie was a mess from the beginning, and Michael Pare's acting was terrible, he sounds like he is reading "Q" cards. I guess Lee Horsley's acting career is limited to "cameo" roles of less than "B" movies now, this is a shame that a gifted actor such as Horsley is reduced to this because of his age(mid 50's I believe). I rated this a 1 out of 10, but it should be a 0 out of ten!!
38 Reviews
Not fit to wipe the original
Planetpulp26 January 2012
As soon as I saw that this was out, I rented it. Wow, what a piece of crap. It had none of the fun of the original and really didn't even tell a story at all. Lee Horsley Does appear but only for a minute and it is disappointing. Some of the plot devices from the original are used but wasted and the whole thing appears to be shot on video. The Tri-Sword appears off camera but is used very poorly. Michael Pare takes the place as the hero/ betrayer of the Sorceress vampire Whatever. Every episode of Hercules is better than this piece of junk. If you want a movie worth of the original, try "season of the Witch" or Solomon Kane.
No Beginning and No Ending
l-p-proctor10 February 2012
Warning: Spoilers
After suffering through a horrible beginning and the longest roll of names of the cast I have yet to see in a cheesy B-film, I thought it could only get better. I thought that was the case until I realized the movie ends without really resolving the conflict. Did they run out of money? It sure looked that way. The heart of the story and the satire of it all made the middle of the film quite enjoyable. I laughed at the cheesy hero adventure comedy that was persistent but was still very upset by the failure to properly compose a storyline. I feel like 10 minute of re-writing could have solved many people's woes with this movie. Watch it and see for yourself, but I suggest fast forwarding through the first 10 minutes and turning it off 20 minutes before the end. You will not regret it that!
So...they attempted to do a follow up to Sword and the Sorceror.
Rob_Taylor6 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
This is a hard film to rate. I can see what they were trying to do, but the money just wasn't there to transform this into an actual, watchable movie. I wanted to like it. I really did. The Sword and the Sorceror remains one of my favourite old B-movie fantasy films of the eighties. I wanted this sequel to live up to that. But....
There are some really awful effects that just look terrible. So terrible that I think that is what they deliberately went for in the end. They had no money for real CGI or anything like it, so they hashed something together on someone's PC.
It all plays like a quickly mocked up 'interest' piece. As if someone put this together as a teaser for studio execs to watch as part of a pitch for a movie.
If they had had more money, then I could see this maybe being an okay film. IF. But they didn't and what we are left with is a poorly lit, poorly dressed and sometimes horribly acted movie that invites ridicule. It looks like a bad TV show. Really bad.
This is a shame, as I say, because there is potential here, with the right backing.
Oh, and they need to lose the music score they went with, too. It's just badly put together and totally out of character for the genre. And whilst I'm dispensing advice...lose the over-sized vampire teeth. Between the brash, over-loud music and the lisping attempts of the actress to talk around her teeth, I could hardly understand a word the vampire queen said.
Quite how they cajoled Kevin Sorbo into this I'll never know. I expect he owed someone a favour.
Oh, and when the title says "Tales" I was expecting several different, but connected stories. What you get aren't "Tales". They are simply chapters of the same tale. But I guess "Chapters of an Ancient Empire" doesn't sound so good, eh? All in all not really worth your time and effort. They hint at a follow-on at the end, God help us! I just hope they throw a bit more money at it next time around.
Best avoided if you have fond memories of the original.
There are some really awful effects that just look terrible. So terrible that I think that is what they deliberately went for in the end. They had no money for real CGI or anything like it, so they hashed something together on someone's PC.
It all plays like a quickly mocked up 'interest' piece. As if someone put this together as a teaser for studio execs to watch as part of a pitch for a movie.
If they had had more money, then I could see this maybe being an okay film. IF. But they didn't and what we are left with is a poorly lit, poorly dressed and sometimes horribly acted movie that invites ridicule. It looks like a bad TV show. Really bad.
This is a shame, as I say, because there is potential here, with the right backing.
Oh, and they need to lose the music score they went with, too. It's just badly put together and totally out of character for the genre. And whilst I'm dispensing advice...lose the over-sized vampire teeth. Between the brash, over-loud music and the lisping attempts of the actress to talk around her teeth, I could hardly understand a word the vampire queen said.
Quite how they cajoled Kevin Sorbo into this I'll never know. I expect he owed someone a favour.
Oh, and when the title says "Tales" I was expecting several different, but connected stories. What you get aren't "Tales". They are simply chapters of the same tale. But I guess "Chapters of an Ancient Empire" doesn't sound so good, eh? All in all not really worth your time and effort. They hint at a follow-on at the end, God help us! I just hope they throw a bit more money at it next time around.
Best avoided if you have fond memories of the original.
What was that!???
clpetersen229 March 2012
Congratulations to the director...you made the worst movie of all time. I've never commented on a movie here but couldn't resist after watching this debacle. The effects, acting, and storyline are worse then a junior high theater production. I'm not sure but at times I think the cameraman might have been having a seizure. The storyline has so many plot holes it's like a sieve and what plot there is is so disjointed that you can't tell what's going on or what is supposed to be taking place. Most of the movie makes very little sense and what does is just pointless. I can't say enough bad about this movie. I mean for Christs sake I've seen better vampire fangs in a grocery story Halloween kit then what they used in this "movie"!
So, so bad!
urmonk304 February 2012
This is the first movie I have reviewed here, and I do so as a response to those who are praising this movie.
I don't know how anyone can honestly praise this movie, it is a shear mess. Editing and pacing were terrible, production quality below most TV episodes. I'm sure the actors did the best they could with what they had but what they had wasn't much.
This movie is in no way near as enjoyable as "The Sword and the Sorcerer", it is in no way nearly as coherent. This movie made little sense, even with the ham-fisted exposition. The trailer for this movie was better than the movie!
Maybe this mess could be salvaged by throwing it into the category of "so bad it's good", and that's a big maybe.
There are only two suggestions I have for watching this movie: either watch it inebriated or, simplest of all, not at all.
I don't know how anyone can honestly praise this movie, it is a shear mess. Editing and pacing were terrible, production quality below most TV episodes. I'm sure the actors did the best they could with what they had but what they had wasn't much.
This movie is in no way near as enjoyable as "The Sword and the Sorcerer", it is in no way nearly as coherent. This movie made little sense, even with the ham-fisted exposition. The trailer for this movie was better than the movie!
Maybe this mess could be salvaged by throwing it into the category of "so bad it's good", and that's a big maybe.
There are only two suggestions I have for watching this movie: either watch it inebriated or, simplest of all, not at all.
Potentially good concept undone by a bad execution.
jhpstrydom27 July 2013
One thing about TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE it can now be placed alongside John Carpenter's PRINCE OF DARKNESS as one of the films with the longest pre-credit sequences that stretches for about 12 minutes long. When it does get started it shows a lot of potential in terms of plot and the cast all give competent performances all around. The look of the film isn't bad in fact but it's major downfall is that it has a terrible execution especially during the third act.
The first half of the film is watchable but once it passes the hour mark it's almost like the story was rushed just to get to the end. The whole plot from there became incredibly confusing and felt like the scriptwriter Cynthia Curnan just wanted to get it done as if she got tired of working on it.
The one thing that could've helped this film be more entertaining would've been to give Olivier Gruner and Sasha Mitchell's characters both a much bigger role in this film. They only make brief appearances but in that short time their characters actually seemed likable and both had great on screen chemistry. The film would've been a whole lot better if it was written as a vehicle for them.
Overall, It's a potentially good concept undone by a bad execution.
The first half of the film is watchable but once it passes the hour mark it's almost like the story was rushed just to get to the end. The whole plot from there became incredibly confusing and felt like the scriptwriter Cynthia Curnan just wanted to get it done as if she got tired of working on it.
The one thing that could've helped this film be more entertaining would've been to give Olivier Gruner and Sasha Mitchell's characters both a much bigger role in this film. They only make brief appearances but in that short time their characters actually seemed likable and both had great on screen chemistry. The film would've been a whole lot better if it was written as a vehicle for them.
Overall, It's a potentially good concept undone by a bad execution.
Senseless
Expresso_Kid7 April 2011
This type of production should be illegal. It's a waste of money, that could have fed many starving children somewhere in the world. It has no entertainment value. Mostly it seems like a group of former porn film actors had decided to make a non-porn film, but failed miserably. Sure you get to see some tits(which is probably the reason why some praise the movie), but even the tits are as bad in quality as the movie itself.
Val Kilmer? Where? The Val Kilmer I remember was an actual actor! Not a wanna-be porn star.
What I liked about the film, was that it was on DVD, so I could speed it up to finish it sooner. Breathtakingly bad movie.
Val Kilmer? Where? The Val Kilmer I remember was an actual actor! Not a wanna-be porn star.
What I liked about the film, was that it was on DVD, so I could speed it up to finish it sooner. Breathtakingly bad movie.
This one was hard for me to digest.
sammy-gibson19 January 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I'll maintain a benefit of the doubt view here. Because someone might actually like, what I would say is a "B,C, or possibly even a Z Rated" film.
The first thing I sort of did not like, was how fast the readable frames were flashing, you could not read them.
I only gave it a look because I sort of like Kevin Sorbo as an actor. Which he does not even, appear in the film until about 34 minutes into it.
I did manage to see a couple of interesting special effects. And the story line was alright, but there was a lot of frame splicing, and screen switching, it almost sort of makes you feel dizzy.
I personally could not get into it. But someone else might enjoy it. I'd recommend googling "B, C, Z rated" films if you don't already know what this means. To get an idea if this is something you might be interested in.
The last thing, I guess I could through in, is that it is a Vampire Based story line. So, if you like Vampire story's you might like it. But, It did appear to me to be very low budget. So, keep that in mind.
The first thing I sort of did not like, was how fast the readable frames were flashing, you could not read them.
I only gave it a look because I sort of like Kevin Sorbo as an actor. Which he does not even, appear in the film until about 34 minutes into it.
I did manage to see a couple of interesting special effects. And the story line was alright, but there was a lot of frame splicing, and screen switching, it almost sort of makes you feel dizzy.
I personally could not get into it. But someone else might enjoy it. I'd recommend googling "B, C, Z rated" films if you don't already know what this means. To get an idea if this is something you might be interested in.
The last thing, I guess I could through in, is that it is a Vampire Based story line. So, if you like Vampire story's you might like it. But, It did appear to me to be very low budget. So, keep that in mind.
Awful...just Awful!!
jewel524 June 2011
I watched this movie because I'm a fan of Kevin Sorbo and I love fantasy type movies. Why Kevin why did you do this film? I have now seen the worst movie ever made...seriously. If you would have told me this was a high school theater project, I would have believed it. The acting was the worst, except for Kevin, who tried with what little he had. The backdrops looked like paintings in some places...paintings!! Don't waste your time here, I could have made a better looking and more coherent story with my sonycam. I don't know what's with the paid shills giving this movie good reviews, but trust me, it's the worst, dare I call it a movie, ever made, without a doubt.
A pleasure after shaky start
rlpcrow29 November 2010
Some recent Albert Pyun movies have fallen short of his "low budget guilty pleasure" niche. Amid pressure to deliver in what seems to be his highest profile film in years, "Tales of an Ancient Empire" is a dense and stylish start to what Pyun clearly envisions as a series that offers many lusty and very guilty pleasures pleasures head and shoulders above the dreg that is Syfy or Asylum fare. It starts on a rocky shoal of imagery and quality. Its almost as if the first four minutes belonged in an alternate universe of movies. But after, Pyun finds his footing. Coarse, initially convoluted and densely populated by roguish characters, it's an intriguing world that hews closer to "Richard the 3rd" than "The Sword and the Sorcerer" with all the expected back stories that propel the plot. After watching this Part One of these "Tales", I'm hooked, with the disclaimer that this ambitious venture requires a no-reading- the computer screen-while-watching commitment. It's not easy to track and is not meant to be. Above all Tales is about family and the deep wounds that can fester in a child or jilted lover and how that can drive the wounded party to despicable acts. Kevin Sorbo shines best as he perfectly balances the pathos of being a abandoned bastard and the charm of a greedy rogue. Whitney Able (a breathtaking sorceress vampire) and Melissa Ordway (the ravishing Princess Tanis) also provide strong characters and performances. Victoria Maurette struggles a bit with her Kara, a half human, half vampire creature who is never quite as unabashedly sensual as the role calls for. As with most Pyun efforts, Tales is beautifully shot with rich compositions, although degraded somewhat by spotty editing and some dodgy low budget special effects. Cynthia Curnan's script is more literate and clever than is found in this sub- genre. Indeed, its the use of language that distinguishes the film. Certainly, Tales is destined to capture a smaller audience than it's hackneyed sword and sorcery predecessor but it carries a higher ambition and creative verve. I can see fan boys with ADD turning against this but for those who enjoy a rich tapestry of colorful characters and plot lines, Tales is perfectly in your wheelhouse.
Solid Effort but undone by ending
molsenaliegh24 November 2010
More accurate title for this film might have been TALES OF AN ANCIENT EMPIRE: PART ONE. Those expecting a typical sword and sorcery adventure, featuring many sword fights and sorcery action, dungeons - all that stuff - will be sorely disappointed. Instead we get an ungainly amalgam of the HBO series Rome, with its complex intrigues and characters and Magnificent Seven with its banding and bonding of iconic types for a good cause. Kevin Sorbo fans will not be disappointed as the former Hercules star is at the top of his heroic humorous game. Indeed he is the best aspect of this low budget epic. Without giving away too much, its the story of a dysfunctional family. In its lower class way, a adventure fantasy Lion in the Winter with five bastard children seeking dear old Father and clearly his acceptance and approval. The core story is a legendary mercenary warrior impregnated a number of wenches, evil sorceress vampires, Queens and common village women, in his years of adventuring. Then after bedding them, he moved on to further adventures and conquests. Its not that unbelievable that it probably happened often back in medieval times. Left behind were his children, all wounded and damaged. When we meet each, its clear they are struggling to reach a peace with the abandonment, but its doomed each to shady lives as thieves, whores and essentially losers. The conceit of this movie is that a Princess (Melissa Ordway) needs to find her Father because it was he who saved the kingdom years earlier. She is the love child of this mercenary warrior and the Queen of a kingdom called Abelar. Her quest to find him, brings her into contact with her half brothers and sisters. They need to find Father not just to win back Abelar but, most importantly, to heal their wounds of abandonment. The biggest stretch is the film's primary villain, a sexy vampire sorceress (Whitney Able) was also seduced by the mercenary warrior and produced a child called Kara (Victoria Maurette), who Xia had surrendered her baby, when she was reduced to dust years earlier by this mercenary. Its a bit convolute but easy to track. Kara somehow becomes part of the Queen's court by the time she's a young adult and the movie tracks her quest to become who she really is, child of a vampire. She's chosen to shadow the Princess and to learn where her Father is. For the most part, the film works really well. Ordway is a good Princess, Maurette is a superb Kara, and the action there is are as good as you would expect from the man behind Cyborg and Nemesis There is also a deft comedic touch in the right places – Kevin Sorbo and the other siblings make sure of that - and the gentle laughs are spaced well between the questing. So why is this only a 6 rated film? The problem lies in the bigger story around the bastard kids, which attempts to make their Father a larger than life mythical warrior. The issue is we never get to SEE him. Oh, we hear him (not too good voice actor) and see his hooded shape but never the man himself. He's a total cipher and therein lies the biggest failing of the film. It leads to big expectations of finding Father, then once found, it leads to a great reveal of this great warrior, but the film simply ENDS. Tales of an Ancient Empire gets bogged down repeatedly in its exploration and reveal of the dense back story which initially works in context at first, but soon becomes a millstone around the movie's neck as the characters are forced to talk about Father's legend rather than see his exploits play out. Even this would have been forgivable if not for the ending, which pushes all the wrong buttons in its attempt to be an iconic grand finale and effectively undoes much of the movie's good work. The weak visual effects does the film no favors either. With its limited budget, Tales of an Ancient Empire looks great but this is not the gritty sword and sorcery adventure that many had hoped for - in fact, it hardly even counts as a sequel to the director's The Sword and the Sorcerer. What it does have is a dense, but compelling narrative, a visually inventive style and great bits of acting from the attractive cast. Able, Ordway and Maurette might be a touch too earnest in their performances but they give the film an underlying emotional depth not usually seen in this genre. Both are, of course, gorgeous to look at. Its just too bad it doesn't end with a proper climatic battle.
Wow!
martinsteinsland28 March 2011
I don't really know what to say. I think I can make better CGI in paint, and the acting is better in porno movies. Kevin Sorbo did a good job, but you get the same amount of good acting in the Hercules TV show. Melissa Ordway on the other hand, wow, you know she got this part for her pretty face, not her acting skills. If you want some kind of adventure, STAY AWAY! Go for a walk in a park and hit a tree with a twig. Wow! Much better fun than this movie... Catwoman is better than this movie... It might seem like I am only bitching, but I feel like I need to warn people about this half made movie...Oh yes, this is only part 1...and no part 2 has been started...
I tried to like it....
Low_Rent16 February 2021
Back in 1982 I saw The Sword and the Sorcerer and I loved it. A guilty pleasure to be sure since it wasn't a great movie but I really enjoyed it. Tales of an Ancient Empire is supposed to be a loose sequel (very loose). Since I am a fan so the first movie I tried to like this one but it's so bad I was laughing during the movie at the dialogue and story. It's just an awful movie at almost every level. I say almost because the only two bright spots are Lee Horsley and Kevin Sorbo. Their acting is good as you might expect, considering the awful dialogue they were given to work with. Overall the story is a mess and makes no sense or has decent coherence. The dialogue is laughable. The acting by everyone (except Lee and Kevin) was terrible. For some reason the director decided to shoot most of the film in a sepia tone. I don't understand why.
This film is terrible. Just terrible.
This film is terrible. Just terrible.
Another disappointing weak film
svilenialbena19 December 2010
Any story worth telling must have a beginning, middle and end. Well, fat chance finding any of these in this one...
Weak plot, incoherent development, pathetic acting and many more await the unaware viewer. I followed the plot with mixture of disbelieve, disgust and awkwardness.
My memories of Val Kilmer in Willow are so vivid that I was ready for another film fest of the same scale. Alas, imagine my disappointment when I was subjected to meaningless scenes of violence and bad acting. The director Albert Pyun is definitely not George Lucas and no mistake.
Victoria Maurette's Kara cannot speak because of the fangs but tries not very successfully to compensate with provocative sensual presence. Works the first 15 minutes, after that leaves an aftertaste of embarrassment. The rest of the cast are not even that good. Well, not entirely their fault that they cannot believe in what they are doing - the plot is so thin that it cannot feed the need of the actors to believe in their characters.
I vote this dreadful film with 1 out of 10 only because there is no way to give it 0. Pure waste of time and money.
Weak plot, incoherent development, pathetic acting and many more await the unaware viewer. I followed the plot with mixture of disbelieve, disgust and awkwardness.
My memories of Val Kilmer in Willow are so vivid that I was ready for another film fest of the same scale. Alas, imagine my disappointment when I was subjected to meaningless scenes of violence and bad acting. The director Albert Pyun is definitely not George Lucas and no mistake.
Victoria Maurette's Kara cannot speak because of the fangs but tries not very successfully to compensate with provocative sensual presence. Works the first 15 minutes, after that leaves an aftertaste of embarrassment. The rest of the cast are not even that good. Well, not entirely their fault that they cannot believe in what they are doing - the plot is so thin that it cannot feed the need of the actors to believe in their characters.
I vote this dreadful film with 1 out of 10 only because there is no way to give it 0. Pure waste of time and money.
The most retarded film award
c63939319 December 2010
coogee-577-681676 must be either high on drugs or trolling to call this piece of crap 'the best film of the 21st Century so far'.
This is no joke, this movie could win without a problem the most retarded, poor and amateur movie since its first part in the 80s. The film is so poor and ugly, so lacking that the producer could take the gun and shoot himself before annoying the world with such a devastatingly retarded film.
The result of it is it managed to win a large amounts of haters. In fact, the movie needs to be boycotted as well as further 'movies' of this excuse of a director.
This is no joke, this movie could win without a problem the most retarded, poor and amateur movie since its first part in the 80s. The film is so poor and ugly, so lacking that the producer could take the gun and shoot himself before annoying the world with such a devastatingly retarded film.
The result of it is it managed to win a large amounts of haters. In fact, the movie needs to be boycotted as well as further 'movies' of this excuse of a director.
awful
hiller_simon21 January 2012
In the empire of Abelar, things are a total mess. The vampires have taken over, and Princess Tanis has been tasked with seeking out her real father. No, not the king, but a mercenary, Oda (?) (Michael Pare), who boasts that his sword is ever poised for a new adventure -- an unsubtle euphemism to mean he'll sow his seed in whatever furrow allows him to plough it. It seems Oda is the only man with the steel enough to stand up to the vampires and drive them out single-handedly.
Well, not single-handedly, but once he's found he'll be joined by no less than five of his bastard children, each a half-sibling to the others. All of them are comely wenches, save for Kevin Sorbo's characterwho's not above coming on to Princess Tanis despite their familial bond.
This travesty from Albert Pyun -- the same director who gave us a less-than-super "Captain America" -- is a sequence of medieval sets that have very little connecting them. Fortunately, we have several interruptions where a vampiress soliliquizes about what will happen between the scenes that we witness. And we have more scenes where Michael Pare discourses with two other mercenaries against a cloudy background to give even more backstory -- which allows for the presumption that there's a story at all.
If you want to see badly pantomimed action scenes, the occasional glimpse of breasts, trick- or-treat quality vampire attacks, and a set with the budget of Star Trek -- the original series, not the film -- then "Tales of an Ancient Empire" may be for you. Maybe the both of you can enjoy it together. It's all green screen done so poorly you expect a toaster to fly by.
The bonus features on this release include the original trailer for the film, and a forty-minute compilation of cast interviews, with questions posed by someone who was obviously struck when interviewing the females of the cast, many of whom were seen topless in the film.
After a dismal "Captain America" and a laughable "The Sword and the Sorcerer," maybe it's time for Albert Pyun to hang up the camera. From beyond, Ed Wood cheers him on.
Well, not single-handedly, but once he's found he'll be joined by no less than five of his bastard children, each a half-sibling to the others. All of them are comely wenches, save for Kevin Sorbo's characterwho's not above coming on to Princess Tanis despite their familial bond.
This travesty from Albert Pyun -- the same director who gave us a less-than-super "Captain America" -- is a sequence of medieval sets that have very little connecting them. Fortunately, we have several interruptions where a vampiress soliliquizes about what will happen between the scenes that we witness. And we have more scenes where Michael Pare discourses with two other mercenaries against a cloudy background to give even more backstory -- which allows for the presumption that there's a story at all.
If you want to see badly pantomimed action scenes, the occasional glimpse of breasts, trick- or-treat quality vampire attacks, and a set with the budget of Star Trek -- the original series, not the film -- then "Tales of an Ancient Empire" may be for you. Maybe the both of you can enjoy it together. It's all green screen done so poorly you expect a toaster to fly by.
The bonus features on this release include the original trailer for the film, and a forty-minute compilation of cast interviews, with questions posed by someone who was obviously struck when interviewing the females of the cast, many of whom were seen topless in the film.
After a dismal "Captain America" and a laughable "The Sword and the Sorcerer," maybe it's time for Albert Pyun to hang up the camera. From beyond, Ed Wood cheers him on.
The worst sequel ever made... and this is a compliment...
jlpicard1701E4 August 2017
First of all: bad acting, bad acting, bad acting.
Need I say more?
OK then... let's see.
A movie that lasts barely 90 minutes which has a 10 minutes title opening.
Got the picture?
Nothing mind shattering is happening during the opening. Just a lot of bla-bla delivered as badly as these actors (and actresses) ever could.
The director must have had "Dune" in mind, since this picture opens with a female narrator and goes on and on about a story that those ho ever watched the original one well remember.
It was probably done for those affected by Alzheimer's disease (poor sods...).
The rest is not even close to a sequel. Just a lot of "macho" acting, some stupid giggling around for no reason and a story line (if one can call it that) that is as confused as the rest of this movie.
I believe the writers of this homunculus of a movie must have sniffed too much cocaine, or meth, and have just read comics, instead of true literature.
I am aware that there are some around here and elsewhere, who have praised the sequel as "solid". I don't know where they were while watching this, or what kind of other distraction may have confused their minds, but they apparently never really watched a truly well made movie, and I do not mean a blockbuster movie - just a well directed and acted one - there are some low budget movies that have astonished me in my own lifetime, but not this one.
This is simply trash, despite the presence of Kevin Sorbo and Lee Horsley (who also starred in the original one).
Sorry to disappoint you all with my own view, but if I had had the money, I would certainly have produced a much better and more inventive movie than this one.
So, in short, if you want to watch it go on and do it. If you like it, the better for you.
My copy landed in the trash bin and into oblivion as it should have been when produced...
Need I say more?
OK then... let's see.
A movie that lasts barely 90 minutes which has a 10 minutes title opening.
Got the picture?
Nothing mind shattering is happening during the opening. Just a lot of bla-bla delivered as badly as these actors (and actresses) ever could.
The director must have had "Dune" in mind, since this picture opens with a female narrator and goes on and on about a story that those ho ever watched the original one well remember.
It was probably done for those affected by Alzheimer's disease (poor sods...).
The rest is not even close to a sequel. Just a lot of "macho" acting, some stupid giggling around for no reason and a story line (if one can call it that) that is as confused as the rest of this movie.
I believe the writers of this homunculus of a movie must have sniffed too much cocaine, or meth, and have just read comics, instead of true literature.
I am aware that there are some around here and elsewhere, who have praised the sequel as "solid". I don't know where they were while watching this, or what kind of other distraction may have confused their minds, but they apparently never really watched a truly well made movie, and I do not mean a blockbuster movie - just a well directed and acted one - there are some low budget movies that have astonished me in my own lifetime, but not this one.
This is simply trash, despite the presence of Kevin Sorbo and Lee Horsley (who also starred in the original one).
Sorry to disappoint you all with my own view, but if I had had the money, I would certainly have produced a much better and more inventive movie than this one.
So, in short, if you want to watch it go on and do it. If you like it, the better for you.
My copy landed in the trash bin and into oblivion as it should have been when produced...
An embarrassing watch
degeneraatti3 January 2014
The Sword and the Sorcerer was long counted as one of those movies that promised a sequel but never delivered. Even though a movie with (quite some) flaws, it was fun and entertaining to some demographic I personally am lucky to be part of. With that in mind, when I found out that a sequel was upcoming I was of course interested to see it.
Not many sequels are in par with the quality of the original, and even fewer exceed it. Especially with so many years and movies in between the two. I should've seen it coming, but I was still shocked at what a stinker Tales of an Ancient Empire turned out to be.
The story, even to those who can quote multiple lines from the original, was disjointed, and really seemed like it was thrown together from various unfinished ideas, like the lyrics for Nik Kershaw's The Riddle. While in the 80's it proved to be the makings of a hit song, it has never been successfully done in a movie. Especially with too little acting skill and too much blue/green-screen (for comparison, SWIII comes to mind). Yet, hats of to mr. Sorbo and mr. Horsley for being shiny beacons of professionalism and skill in this hapless jumble. And just when the story starts to make a bit of sense, the films ends abruptly.
I do not understand how someone considers this movie (and especially the ending) "artsy". If this film is artsy with delightfully meandering and complex narrative, captivating scenery and top-notch acting, then drunken nightclub party rocking is interpretive dance and the youtube-videos of an animal playing the piano are the high point of western classical music. And that's not a world I want to live in.
For me this movie was like opening a bottle of (cheap) white wine, yet finding out on the first taste that it's vinegar. The appropriate action is to spit it out, throw out the bottle, and go for something better. I, however, drank this movie to the very last drop.
Avoid.
Not many sequels are in par with the quality of the original, and even fewer exceed it. Especially with so many years and movies in between the two. I should've seen it coming, but I was still shocked at what a stinker Tales of an Ancient Empire turned out to be.
The story, even to those who can quote multiple lines from the original, was disjointed, and really seemed like it was thrown together from various unfinished ideas, like the lyrics for Nik Kershaw's The Riddle. While in the 80's it proved to be the makings of a hit song, it has never been successfully done in a movie. Especially with too little acting skill and too much blue/green-screen (for comparison, SWIII comes to mind). Yet, hats of to mr. Sorbo and mr. Horsley for being shiny beacons of professionalism and skill in this hapless jumble. And just when the story starts to make a bit of sense, the films ends abruptly.
I do not understand how someone considers this movie (and especially the ending) "artsy". If this film is artsy with delightfully meandering and complex narrative, captivating scenery and top-notch acting, then drunken nightclub party rocking is interpretive dance and the youtube-videos of an animal playing the piano are the high point of western classical music. And that's not a world I want to live in.
For me this movie was like opening a bottle of (cheap) white wine, yet finding out on the first taste that it's vinegar. The appropriate action is to spit it out, throw out the bottle, and go for something better. I, however, drank this movie to the very last drop.
Avoid.
the worst vampire movie yet.. probably ever
dragonscientist17 December 2012
I have never seen anything that was more poorly made.
I am trying to watch all vampire movies that I can find. That is the only reason that this joke of a movie played to completion in front of me.
Much of the movie jumps to a poorly produced cartoon-mode. Whenever the movie would have required any real creativity, they put in a cartoon instead. It really looked like they couldn't figure out how to do real CGI, and they couldn't afford a decent cartoonist, so they just put in some crappy drawings and called it good.
I've seen, and even appreciated movies, that go between live film and anime style battles, but stylistic choice is not an excuse that this lousy movie can claim. If this was a stylistic choice, then all of the fighting should have followed the same style. That was not the case with this charade. What determined whether the fight scene appeared live vs. cartoon was how difficult it would have been to film it. If a fight scene was anything more than a awkward swing of a sword by an incompetent actor, then it was turned into a low quality cartoon.
It also looked like most of the actors would have been rejected in auditions for an elementary school play. Some of the other reviews that compare the acting to that of porn are way too generous.
I am trying to watch all vampire movies that I can find. That is the only reason that this joke of a movie played to completion in front of me.
Much of the movie jumps to a poorly produced cartoon-mode. Whenever the movie would have required any real creativity, they put in a cartoon instead. It really looked like they couldn't figure out how to do real CGI, and they couldn't afford a decent cartoonist, so they just put in some crappy drawings and called it good.
I've seen, and even appreciated movies, that go between live film and anime style battles, but stylistic choice is not an excuse that this lousy movie can claim. If this was a stylistic choice, then all of the fighting should have followed the same style. That was not the case with this charade. What determined whether the fight scene appeared live vs. cartoon was how difficult it would have been to film it. If a fight scene was anything more than a awkward swing of a sword by an incompetent actor, then it was turned into a low quality cartoon.
It also looked like most of the actors would have been rejected in auditions for an elementary school play. Some of the other reviews that compare the acting to that of porn are way too generous.
This got to be a joke. right? right?!
Master T16 October 2010
I don't even know where to start on this one.
First, although it says differently, Val Kilmer & Christopher Lambert DO NOT play in this one. I can't believe I'm saying that but both of their recent work is better than this one (And their latest movies are really rubbish).
This movie has to be a joke. Even as a B-Rated movie it's bad. The acting is horrific, the sound is terrible and the plot is just.. hmm.. silly.
The movie itself is cut into several acts, or as the director decided to call them, "tales". Only sometimes you feel like a "tale" stopped in the middle of a sentence and continued for the rest of it. Let's just say that the first 5 minutes of the movie include 3 tales (!).
What's up with the credits, by the way?! I know that huge movies, with many stand-ins and lots of effects, take about 6-7 minutes. This movie has 15 (!) minutes of credits. What?! Why?! Who wants to even be credited on such an awful movie?! The only chance you can enjoy this movie, is if you drink a lot before and act as if you're seeing a joke. Suggestion for a drinking game: Every time a really lousy special effect appear - you drink a shot. You won't survive 10 minutes..
First, although it says differently, Val Kilmer & Christopher Lambert DO NOT play in this one. I can't believe I'm saying that but both of their recent work is better than this one (And their latest movies are really rubbish).
This movie has to be a joke. Even as a B-Rated movie it's bad. The acting is horrific, the sound is terrible and the plot is just.. hmm.. silly.
The movie itself is cut into several acts, or as the director decided to call them, "tales". Only sometimes you feel like a "tale" stopped in the middle of a sentence and continued for the rest of it. Let's just say that the first 5 minutes of the movie include 3 tales (!).
What's up with the credits, by the way?! I know that huge movies, with many stand-ins and lots of effects, take about 6-7 minutes. This movie has 15 (!) minutes of credits. What?! Why?! Who wants to even be credited on such an awful movie?! The only chance you can enjoy this movie, is if you drink a lot before and act as if you're seeing a joke. Suggestion for a drinking game: Every time a really lousy special effect appear - you drink a shot. You won't survive 10 minutes..
Artsy attempt at genre movie
jcljanice30 November 2010
First, I must point out that my brain did not turn into a pool of blood, my eyes did not fall out their sockets and I did make it through the entire movie.
The best news is that is far superior to Jonas Hex, Melissa Ordway is much hotter than Megan Fox and Kevin Sorbo is, well, Mr Sorbo at his very best.
Bad news is there wasn't really enough money it seems to deliver a consistent fantasy. Effects are quite rough and exteriors and action are minimal.
As if it were based on a play, most of Tales takes place inside the walls of a palace or tavern. The film surrendered its genre advantage of action fantasy, and tried to compensate with a clever but talky script.
The film is about a family, both human and vampire. The bastards of a philandering warrior.
Each of his kids harbors issues of abandonment. Princess Tanis (gorgeous Melissa Ordway) learns she is not the King's daughter at the outset of the movie. The movie is essentially her quest to find her "true" Father who is the one man that can ave the kingdom. Along the way, she meets her half brothers and sisters like Aedan (a devilishly excellent Kevin Sorbo), Rajan (a colorful ex-assassin, now innkeeper and mother, played well by Janelle Taylor), and Alana (Rajan's daughter, played with feisty fun by Inbar Lavi). There is fun in watching the Princess meet up with each sibling and learning a bit more about dear ol' dad at each encounter.
All align to stop a vampire sorceress (Whitney Able). Able does great work here even though she struggles to speak with the fangs in her mouth and is given only a handful of scenes. She adds unexpected depth and pathos for a fantasy villain. Its really quite a powerful performance that grounds the plot.
Tales should be praised for its unconventional plot and for its dialogue, which is loaded with eloquent and humor. Whether even estranged family members would say such things to each other is a different matter but it adds spark to the stage bound movie. The interiors, while many, are well shot and the design of the movie, while sparse are well done.
When this film is criticized for resembling a stage play, this is what is meant; the story is expressed almost entirely through dialogue rather than cinematography.
It's a movie concerning intrigue and the search for self more than high adventure and killing of creatures(although that's promised in the sequel)
It had been 28 years since the similar (and superior)The Sword and the Sorcerer, but Tales stands out as a artistic indy style production of Prince of Persia. Where dialogue and character nuance replace epic armies and visual effects. Its a bold idea that works.
The best news is that is far superior to Jonas Hex, Melissa Ordway is much hotter than Megan Fox and Kevin Sorbo is, well, Mr Sorbo at his very best.
Bad news is there wasn't really enough money it seems to deliver a consistent fantasy. Effects are quite rough and exteriors and action are minimal.
As if it were based on a play, most of Tales takes place inside the walls of a palace or tavern. The film surrendered its genre advantage of action fantasy, and tried to compensate with a clever but talky script.
The film is about a family, both human and vampire. The bastards of a philandering warrior.
Each of his kids harbors issues of abandonment. Princess Tanis (gorgeous Melissa Ordway) learns she is not the King's daughter at the outset of the movie. The movie is essentially her quest to find her "true" Father who is the one man that can ave the kingdom. Along the way, she meets her half brothers and sisters like Aedan (a devilishly excellent Kevin Sorbo), Rajan (a colorful ex-assassin, now innkeeper and mother, played well by Janelle Taylor), and Alana (Rajan's daughter, played with feisty fun by Inbar Lavi). There is fun in watching the Princess meet up with each sibling and learning a bit more about dear ol' dad at each encounter.
All align to stop a vampire sorceress (Whitney Able). Able does great work here even though she struggles to speak with the fangs in her mouth and is given only a handful of scenes. She adds unexpected depth and pathos for a fantasy villain. Its really quite a powerful performance that grounds the plot.
Tales should be praised for its unconventional plot and for its dialogue, which is loaded with eloquent and humor. Whether even estranged family members would say such things to each other is a different matter but it adds spark to the stage bound movie. The interiors, while many, are well shot and the design of the movie, while sparse are well done.
When this film is criticized for resembling a stage play, this is what is meant; the story is expressed almost entirely through dialogue rather than cinematography.
It's a movie concerning intrigue and the search for self more than high adventure and killing of creatures(although that's promised in the sequel)
It had been 28 years since the similar (and superior)The Sword and the Sorcerer, but Tales stands out as a artistic indy style production of Prince of Persia. Where dialogue and character nuance replace epic armies and visual effects. Its a bold idea that works.
if a higher budget studio does it, maybe
sofblaze-301-79629325 February 2012
this movie might have been OK if it were done by the people that make the scorpion king movies but with such a low budget I would not have even bothered.most of the movie is done with the characters standing in front of green screens relying on cheap cgi effects..The fight scenes are mostly done with pictures and a woman telling the story of how the fight happened and who won.. no actual fighting occurs.the acting is what is excepted in a B rated movie..However the only bright spot of the film is that it has a lot of beautiful women to look at in it.hell the first 20 minutes is so boring I kept fast forwarding till actual movie footage was present and not the cheesy way they present the story...
Has Potential
IMDBer10057530 October 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I picked this movie because it sounded interesting. I tend to enjoy movies about ancient magic and stuff like that so I was hoping to see a good movie. I was so disappointed.
The ambiance for this movie was all wrong. Lighting was too bright, sound was horrible, and acting was subpar. There were outdoors scenes that were exceptionally bright, almost to the point where I could not see what was happening. They need better cameras. The movie is about an ancient time, yet they decided to have rock music in the soundtrack. The actors, even Kevin Sorbo, were subpar.
The plot and storyline is great. I really enjoyed that but the execution was poorly done. I would like to think that with a bigger budget, the makers of this movie could've done so much better. The special effects seem really tacky. The rock / heavy metal music is horrible. The actors need more classes and experience in acting.
I do not recommend this movie at all. The storyline is good but just hold out for a higher budget production of this movie.
The ambiance for this movie was all wrong. Lighting was too bright, sound was horrible, and acting was subpar. There were outdoors scenes that were exceptionally bright, almost to the point where I could not see what was happening. They need better cameras. The movie is about an ancient time, yet they decided to have rock music in the soundtrack. The actors, even Kevin Sorbo, were subpar.
The plot and storyline is great. I really enjoyed that but the execution was poorly done. I would like to think that with a bigger budget, the makers of this movie could've done so much better. The special effects seem really tacky. The rock / heavy metal music is horrible. The actors need more classes and experience in acting.
I do not recommend this movie at all. The storyline is good but just hold out for a higher budget production of this movie.
It's soooo bad
borleyalpha24 January 2012
Tales of an Ancient Empire. The phrase, "I've seen better acting from extras in Godzilla movies," can be taken literally. As bad as the acting is, and it is the worst I've ever seen. This coming from someone who's watched Ed Wood movies without a laugh track, and Yor Hunter From the Future straight without MST3K commentary. I don't know that Anthony Hopkins, Robert Downey Jr., and the late great Heath Ledger trying to play at acting that badly could be so bad. As bad as the acting is, and it is just so bad, the writing's worse. My God, it's as if Uwe Boll were given a Michael Bay Plot treatment with George Lucas running script doctor on the dialog. Except that I think that would be better. I really truly do. Perhaps we could get the first graders from South Park Elementary to be the cast. So if you want to see a bad B-movie, for the love of God see something else. Watch Reindeer Games, watch a junior high fan fiction of Star Trek on youtube. In the name of all that is holy, watch C-SPAN!
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