Flight of the Conchords (TV Series)

Bowie (2007)

Bret McKenzie: Bret

Quotes 

• David Bowie : Oh, the media monkies and their junky junkies will invite you to their plastic pantomine... throw their invites away.

  Bret : I'm not really sure what you're talking about.

• Murray : That's good, Bret. Jemaine, you look depressed. Smile!

  Jemaine : I'm not supposed to. I'm in a band.

  Murray : Who wants to hear a sad band?

  Jemaine : Well, this is the cool look for a band.

  Murray : But what about when you - hands in the air and smile?

  Jemaine : No, that's not what bands do. Bands don't put their arms in the air and smile.

  Murray : I've seen that. I've seen musicians do that.

  Bret : That's gymnasts, Murray.

• Murray : Hey guys, guess what's in my hand?

  Bret : A biscuit?

  Murray : Nope, not even close. Jemaine?

  Jemaine : Another kind of biscuit?

  Murray : No, I haven't got a biscuit, have I? I said no biscuit. It's not gonna be another kind, is it?

  Bret : Is it a really *big* biscuit?

  Murray : IT'S NOT A BISCUIT!

  Jemaine : I don't know. You know I'm not very imaginative.

  Murray : OK, well, you've ruined this game, I'll just show you.

  [He shows them the muscial greeting card which plays their song] 

  Bret : That's flippin' awesome!

  Murray : Listen to that!

  Jemaine : But I thought they weren't gonna...

  Murray : Well, Mr. Armstrong said he admired Bret's balls.

• 1986 David Bowie : Bret, Bret?... Bret! It's 1986 David Bowie from the movie "Labyrinth."

  Bret : Yeah, I know.

  1986 David Bowie : So you showed your penis to the man at the greeting-card company?

  Bret : That was your idea.

  1986 David Bowie : I didn't mean something like that. I only meant something like... I don't know, wear makeup or...

  Bret : Yeah, I was wearing makeup. I had lightning bolts on my wanger.

  1986 David Bowie : I meant on your face, Bret. On your face.

  Bret : So have you got anymore advice?

  1986 David Bowie : No. I don't have anymore advice. I've given you all of my good advice. Actually, I've totally lost confidence in my ability to help people. I'm useless.

  Bret : Jemaine actually thinks that maybe you're a figment of my imagination.

  1986 David Bowie : I might as well be, Bret. I might as well be.

  Bret : Yeah.

  1986 David Bowie : Anyway, Bret, I have to go.

  Bret : Where are you going?

  1986 David Bowie : I'm going to a party. I'm already 20 minutes late.

  Bret : Sounds cool. Where's the party?

  1986 David Bowie : In space, Bret. In space.

  Bret : Space?

  1986 David Bowie : Yeah. It is quite freaky, isn't it, Bret?

  Bret : Yeah... no.

  1986 David Bowie : Goodbye, Bret.

  Bret : See you, Bowie.

• Bret : So I'm guessing like, if David Bowie isn't that confident, then maybe - maybe most people aren't that confident? Which means... I'm not gonna worry about being confident.

  Dave : Yeah, we don't need to worry about being confident.

  Bret : Yeah...

  Jemaine : But it's not really him though.

  Bret : I know...

  Jemaine : It's a dream.

  Bret : I know, but...

  Jemaine : It's your dream.

  Bret : I know it's my dream, but you'd still think he'd be a lot more confident.

  Jemaine : Yeah, can I have your biscuit, Bret?

  Bret : Yeah, help yourself. I'm not eating anymore. I'm a bit too fat.