Rocko's Modern Life (TV Series)

Fortune Cookie/Dear John (1995)

Carlos Alazraqui: Rocko, Spunky, Bob 'Bucky' Taylor, Johnny, Additional Voices

Quotes 

• Rocko : What's yours say, Filb?

  Filburt Turtle : [in his head]  "Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity."

  Rocko : C'mon, Filb, what's it say?

  Filburt Turtle : Oh, nothing.

  Heffer Wolfe : Whadaya mean "nothing"? It has to say *some*thing.

  Filburt Turtle : No, it doesn't!

  Heffer Wolfe : Lemme see!

  Filburt Turtle : It doesn't say anything!

  Heffer Wolfe : Does too!

  Filburt Turtle : Does not!

  Heffer Wolfe : Does too!

  Filburt Turtle : Does not!

  Filburt Turtle : Hey, let go! Ow! Get off me! It's mine!

  Heffer Wolfe : What are you trying to make a federal case out of it? Gimme your fortune cookie! Give me! Give me!

  Filburt Turtle : Oof!

  [Heffer takes the fortune from Filburt and looks discouraged. Filburt angrily steals the fortune back from him] 

  Rocko : What's it say?

  Filburt Turtle : [opening his big mouth]  It sez "Bad luck and misfortune will infest my pathetic soul for all eternity!" There! Ya happy?

• Rocko : [Rocko and Heffer just finished fixing Rocko's kitchen]  Well, I think we're finished. See. It looks just like the picture in the book.

  [hands Heffer the book] 

  Heffer Wolfe : [looks at the book and at their work]  Hey, Rock? Where does the refrigerator go?

  Rocko : Uh oh. Something's wrong. Let me see that.

  Rocko : [looks at the book]  This is the chapter on bathrooms. We've turned my kitchen into a bathroom!

  Heffer Wolfe : You've got a point, Rocko. It looks like a bathroom.

• Bob 'Bucky' Taylor : Don't you worry there, young fella. I brought along my camera crew for assistance and we're gonna fix your house up real nice. Okay?

  Rocko : Terrific. So you'll be doing the work yourself?

  Bob 'Bucky' Taylor : [laughs]  Oh, oh, gosh no. Hey, I don't know a hammer from a hemorrhoid. My assistant Al here does all the work. She's a genius.

  Al : Hi, guys.

  Bob 'Bucky' Taylor : I'm a visionary and a dreamer. Not really hands-on kind of guy. *And*, I look *great* in a plaid work shirt.

  Bob 'Bucky' Taylor : [sees Rocko and Heffer out the door]  You just run along for the rest of the day and when you return, all your problems will be solved.

• Bob 'Bucky' Taylor : [Rocko gets home to find the job finished]  Why, here's the customer now. We fixed the problem and took the liberty to do some additional remodeling before the show there.

  Rocko : My living room. It's a bathroom.

  [starts looking around the house] 

  Rocko : My closet is a bathroom. My basement is a bathroom. My ballroom is a bathroom. Even my bathroom is a bathroom! Well, I guess *that's* okay.

  [runs downstairs] 

  Rocko : [to Bucky]  There's too many bathrooms!

  Bob 'Bucky' Taylor : Too *many* bathrooms? Too *many* bathrooms? What are ya, nuts? You can never have too many bathrooms.

  Rocko : Get out of my house, you WACKO!

• Bob 'Bucky' Taylor : Okay, where's my, uh, smacky... hitty-poundy thingy there?